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To draw a cock on DHs face

(82 Posts)
Singlebutmarried Sat 16-Dec-17 23:12:30

Long story short

Been out for birthday

He organised for good friends to meet us for meal and kept it all secret.

He then got bladdered and announced to the pub that I ‘liked it bent over and had teeth’

Luckily I know the people at the pub well enough to brush it off, but I’m a bit kirtified at the same time.

He’s now passed out, and I’m sat mostly fuming. I’ve so far drawn one cock on his face, and am going to check in a bit to see if he’s swapped sides so I can draw another.

Is this unreasonable?

Singlebutmarried Sat 16-Dec-17 23:13:06

Mortified. Wtf is kirtified.

Bobbins43 Sat 16-Dec-17 23:14:02

WTF? I'd be tempted to use a Sharpie. I don't even get the teeth bit...

AtSea1979 Sat 16-Dec-17 23:14:16

YABU

You came on here and announced it to a lot more people!

bbcessex Sat 16-Dec-17 23:14:21

Oh dear.

What is 'had teeth' ?

Addictedtothisbloodyforum Sat 16-Dec-17 23:15:03

It's my birthday too and my dh has done fuck all , no card nothing - oh wait he did tell me how much of a shit wife I was via text and if I performed my wife lay duties tonight then I'd get a birthday present . Nice eh !

Bobbiepin Sat 16-Dec-17 23:15:48

Is the dick pointing towards his mouth and shooting semen everywhere? If not then yes YABU.

Addictedtothisbloodyforum Sat 16-Dec-17 23:16:21

What do you mean about teeth ??

Singlebutmarried Sat 16-Dec-17 23:17:03

I’ve drawn the first one the wrong way round. Hence needing him to turn over.

Singlebutmarried Sat 16-Dec-17 23:18:00

No idea about the teeth. AFAIK my ‘technique ‘ has always been non toothy.

Addictedtothisbloodyforum Sat 16-Dec-17 23:18:56

R u pissed ?

Singlebutmarried Sat 16-Dec-17 23:20:20

Sadly no, not pissed. Just a tad fecked off

Ihavepatrick Sat 16-Dec-17 23:20:59

Could you shave his eyebrows and head while you're at it? And yes, you carry on, preferably with a sharpie

Bobbiepin Sat 16-Dec-17 23:23:39

No don't shave his head, just a patch so he has to do the rest or risk lookong even more like a dick. If he's thst drunk you could phrase it as though he thought it was a good idea to shave his head and he got that far before you could wrestle the clippers off him.

Battleax Sat 16-Dec-17 23:26:48

The important thing you're trying to signal here is that you have slightly more class than the tacky drunken oaf, isn't it?

Come on, dig deep, it's a low bar wink

Battleax Sat 16-Dec-17 23:27:36

I might be mixing my metawotsiys there confused

Singlebutmarried Sat 16-Dec-17 23:28:41

Battle ax 😂😂

Hauntedlobster Sat 16-Dec-17 23:29:29

The thing is, if you do anything semi permanent he’ll just retell the story to anyone who asks.

MajesticWhine Sat 16-Dec-17 23:31:36

You need much bigger and better revenge than this I'm afraid.

Battleax Sat 16-Dec-17 23:33:35

Save it. You need to plan something genius.

And addicted, my lovely, you need to promise yourself a fabulous birthday next year and think about divorcing that nasty article.

Worriedrose Sat 16-Dec-17 23:35:17

Addictedtothisbloodyforum
I really hope what you postexwas a joke. If it's not it's beyond sad
flowers

Worriedrose Sat 16-Dec-17 23:35:29

Aaah
Posted was

GummyGoddess Sat 16-Dec-17 23:37:14

YABU. I'm sure you could do something more inventive than dick drawings, maybe use his nose or eyebrows as part of a better or more obscene drawing.

Singlebutmarried Sat 16-Dec-17 23:38:43

Plotting has commenced. I’m still gonna draw another dick on him tho.

DamsonGin Sat 16-Dec-17 23:39:27

How have you drawn the first one the wrong way round? Which way round was it supposed to go?

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