I hate to write this, but I have no one, and I mean not one person - no family, friends, neighbours. So please try not to be too harsh.
I have mental health issues which have been there since I was 9 years old Upbring horrific and subsequent events made me a nervous wreck by age of 12 years old. I had my only child, his father disappeared out of his life and never saw our my child since - in over 27 years. I alway worked. Mental health ground me down and I had a huge breakdown a few years ago which left me very ill and now agoraphobic. Unable to work and I hate that. I live in a rural area. Very isolated. I have no transport I do not have a life like many others. I wake, spend time with dogs, go to sleep. I cannot watch television or read as meds I am make me unable to concentrate. I love my isolated life mostly as mental health makes me useless around people and noise.
Partner always at work - works nights 6 nights a week. See him for less than 2 hours a day in person.
Met partner before breakdown. Moved in with him whilst I was ill. First few years everything good. Found out from online pics on his laptop, when he let me use his laptop whilst mine was broke, that he had been sleeping with swingers. The pics were very graphic.
Partner admitted he had arranged online to meet a married couple. He said we were going through a rough time. I never noticed it. Maybe we were. I was devastated. Mental health became worse. Had no one to talk to. I could not afford to move out. I approached my then mental health team who told me to 'forget' what partner had done, and to concentrate on getting better. I did that, but will never be able to 'forget'
Cuts to mental health services mean I have no input from them and have not done for a long time.
I cannot afford to get anywhere to live. I have my pets, who I live for. If I took up an eventual offer possibly of a social housing flat, my dogs, would not be allowed. I can get outdoors with my dogs.
Partner used to pay for a lot, *he earns a lot of money) as I could not work, but I received benefit, and I would contribute. I do not eat much, so food shopping was mainly his and the pets.
He has now asked for half of my monthly amount which is £400. I have to now buy my own food and essentials. I will be left with £25 a week if I spend £25 only a week for myself.
I keep thinking - please tell me if you think I am being selfish - that as he earns so much money, am I wrong to think that I should be left with so little money after I have paid my benefit to him and bought food shopping for myself?
I thought relationships were about fairly sharing, We have been together for many years. Separate bank accounts.
I don't feel much for my partner - not since he cheated, but if I leave I will be homeless. SHELTER confirmed this. I have to be homeless and go to council and ask for help and as I have no young children then I could be homeless and accomodation not guaranteed. I appreciate this. Being outdoors alone will kill me with agoraphobia just alone
I do not want harsh criticism but just any ideas on what another person may do. I want and try every single day to improve my life, but where do I truly start.
Has anyone ever been in a situation like this?
Thank you for reading if you have not fell asleep through boredom !
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Please help re advice Partner......
61 replies
JasmineB89 · 16/12/2017 14:34
OP posts:
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