AIBU that she shouldn't be angry about this

[GoingCrazy222]

A few weeks ago my parents and I were out shopping and saw a dress that we thought my sister would like for a party she was going to.

We called her and she said to buy it and she would pay the money back. We decided I would buy it as my mother had forgotten her card.

I have asked my sister for the money back as I needed it to buy train tickets with (it was £40). She has said 'I haven't got it you'll get it when you get it.'

I have now asked again and she is getting angry at me that she has no money and that her pay is less than her rent.

My mother has offered to give me the money so that my sister owes her and not me (as I need the money), but I am being unreasonable to think she has no right to get angry and that she shouldn't have bought a dress using my money if she couldn't afford to?

Just a note to say there's no argument really I just want to know if I should respect her money troubles more and stop asking.

[Bringbeboback]

It doesn’t sound like you have a lot of disposable income either so she shouldn’t have been selfish and asked you to get the dress when she probably knew fine well she couldn’t pay you back for a while.
And she also has no right to be angry. If I were her i’d be apologetic and extremely embarrassed and at least offer a small amount until I had next been paid.

[Winterfellismyhome]

Could you ask for the dress back so you can return it for a refund? Unless she's already worn it?

[DailyMaileatmyshit]

YANBU she should have said thanks but I can't afford it.

[PersianCatLady]

If your sister's pay is less than her rent, that situation can't go on.

She either needs to find cheaper accommodation or earn more money.

[Flokidoki]

No, she shouldn’t be angry.

Would your mum have paid if she’d had her card?

If she would have, and as you really need the money, I’d accept your mum’s offer, and let your sister owe her.

She’s probably embarrassed. My DSis currently owes me just over £250 for a hotel room we shared recently. She can’t afford it this month and I haven’t even asked her, even though it’s meant my finances are a bit skewed this month as a result. I’ll ask her in January. The difference here though is I know she wouldn’t be angry if I said I need it now. We’d have an adult chat about it and come to a solution.

[SaucyJack]

Did you already know she was having money problems?

She shouldn't have said yes if she couldn't afford to pay you back, but maybe it wasn't sensible of you lay temptation at her feet in the first place. A £40 dress for one party is noone's idea of cheap or necessary if you can't even afford to pay your basic living costs.

Had she asked you to look out for a dress?

[GoingCrazy222]

Thanks guys! I'm going to get the money from my mother. I just thought she shouldn't be angry at me asking for the money but I understand it's Christmas and she's a bit stretched. It's more about the anger than the actual money to be honest.

[Cantuccit]

Does she have the dress? If not, return it.

Don't hand over the item until cash is in your hand.

She is stupidly entitled.

[InsomniacAnonymous]

"She has said 'I haven't got it you'll get it when you get it.'"

That is incredibly rude, especially as you checked with her before buying and it wasn't out of the blue. I can't imagine speaking to anyone like that, especially after they've done something nice.

[TalkinBoutWhat]

Well, you know not to do that again. But rude of her to imagine that she's the only one that is stretched financially at this time of year.

[Mummyoflittledragon]

I think it would be a good thing not to do this again. Your sister probably really wanted a nice new dress but doesn’t have enough money and neither do you. Better not to be tempted.

[oliveinacampervan]

Your sister is a CF.

Saying 'you will get it when you get it' is fucking disgusting.

Never lend her money again.

[Jaxhog]

Take up your Mum's offer and never do this again.

[swingofthings]

Why is she even going to a party if she is so broke? A bit weird to go shopping on behalf of someone else for a party outfit anyway, so even if she said she'd pay it back, she probably assumed you were intending to buy it as a present.

[GwenStaceyRocks]

Reading between the lines, the problem is that you've got in the middle of an arrangement between your DSIS and your DM because your DM forgot her card. I'm assuming your DSIS thought your DM would pay for the dress and that your DM was aware she was struggling so was subbing her.

[AcrossthePond55]

I'd tell Sis "Hope you like the dress, it's your Xmas present".

[wednesdayswench]

She shouldn't be buying dresses she can't afford (but perhaps she felt pressurised because you and your mum coerced her into buying it...with the best intentions of course)