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Taking baby to work

(68 Posts)
creameyespinklips Sat 16-Dec-17 07:39:56

My job requires me to work one evening and ever other weekend. There's no way around this.

It involves calling on vulnerable people. Most of them are 15 min calls, they don't need much. A cup of tea and medication usually.

My marriage has been awful lately, I'm feeling like i can't possibly stay. The problem is money. I am not a high earner anyway and I can't afford to give up my job.

Since I can't get childcare for evenings and weekends wibu to take my baby with me in my car and leave her for short periods as I make my calls?

Sophieelmer Sat 16-Dec-17 07:42:47

Yes you would

twinnywinny14 Sat 16-Dec-17 07:48:49

Really? I think social services might think yabu!

creameyespinklips Sat 16-Dec-17 07:49:57

OK thanks. It's hard knowing what to do as obviously if I quit work I'm in an even more vulnerable position but if I'm working I have to stay with dh. Thanks.

twinnywinny14 Sat 16-Dec-17 07:50:39

If you are seriously thinking of ending your marriage, have a look and find out what benefits you may be entitled to as single mum, this may help you to find a Sensible and safe solution, where you don’t need to put your baby in danger x

Callamia Sat 16-Dec-17 07:51:12

I’m assuming your husband would not even support you by looking after his daughter so that you can work? (Ugh).

I think there are two possible problems. Firstly, that you are compromised at work; worrying about your daughter in the car and don’t do you caring role as diligently as you usually do. I’d be concerned as your employer, and as a relative of someone you are caring for. Second, if your husband is so awful that he won’t even look after is child, I’d hate for him to use the fact that you are taking her to work against you.

I don’t know where this leaves you. And I’m really sorry. It is absolutely unfair that you are in this situation. I only hope that your daughter’s father can show some semblance of being a decent dad.

twinnywinny14 Sat 16-Dec-17 07:52:40

If you split would oh have access? If so every other weekend would be reasonable and one night a week then you can work your current job whilst he has baby? X

creameyespinklips Sat 16-Dec-17 07:53:16

I have twinny but some benefits are dependent on you working. And the sums don't add up any which way I do it.

creameyespinklips Sat 16-Dec-17 07:54:30

Bit early to be talking of access. I don't know. Preferably not. I don't even know if I'm leaving yet and if I can't pay for basic things then I can't leave. Will have to see.

creameyespinklips Sat 16-Dec-17 07:56:49

Look if he was a decent dad I wouldn't be thinking about leaving. It's a bit pointless saying oh well if he was a good person he would do this. If he was a good person I would never leave.

Anyway thanks. It was just a thought. On evening shifts you tend to have about 6 people, they don't want you in long as they're keen to get to bed and have their tablets so generally I'm out for a couple of hours but the baby wouldn't be in the car unsupervised for 2 hours, I would be in and out and she'd be in view at all times.

ApplesTheHare Sat 16-Dec-17 07:57:51

Look for jobs with more family friendly and childcare friendly hours. This will benefit you whether you stay in your marriage or decide to leave flowers

Booboostwo Sat 16-Dec-17 08:00:18

No you cannot leave the baby in the car while you are working, not for a few minutes, not even in sight. It's unprofessional and not safe for your baby.

I am really sorry you find yourself in this situation. I hope someone will come along with helpful practical suggestions, but taking the baby with you is not one.

VikingVolva Sat 16-Dec-17 08:01:40

Yes, sometimes it takes a bit of planning before you can leave.

There strike me there are 2 things for you to work on:

a) transferring your skills to a new job where childcare is more readily available.
b) keeping hunting for childcare - evenings/weekends could mean perhaps older teens/students in a more baby-sitting role

creameyespinklips Sat 16-Dec-17 08:04:11

Thanks, Apples. I have been looking but I don't have much in the way of qualifications which makes it hard.

The problem is for an evening shift I only earn between £10-£15. Not enough to cover costs of a babysitter. Which just kind of brings me back to the Start!

Ivehadtonamechangeforthis Sat 16-Dec-17 08:08:58

No you can't and you mustn't.

But I do understand your predicament.

If you are thinking of leaving your DH look at what benefits you might be entitled to, there's a good website called which has a benefits calculator. As a single parent with a baby you may receive enough financial help to get by without working for the time being or until you're able to organise childcare arrangements.

You really mustn't leave your baby in a car unsupervised even if it's for 'just' 15 minutes.

Bobbins43 Sat 16-Dec-17 08:09:37

Could you get an au pair in or a student to rent a room? Make it conditional on them being available to babysit or be in at certain times? Kind of a long shot, I know.

I really feel for you, OP. This is a crap situation to be in.

underneaththeash Sat 16-Dec-17 08:13:24

No, you can't leave a baby in the car, you'll have social services on your case in no time.

Why not concentrate on getting some extra qualifications? Some workplaces will help with with this, if you don't have English and maths to GCSE level you can often do these for free at colleges and adult education centres.

I would also start squirrelling a bit of money away (for a rainy day).

Sometimes just doing something towards potentially leaving a bad marriage, improves your self-esteem and actually improves it.

creameyespinklips Sat 16-Dec-17 08:17:47

We wouldnt have a spare room bobbin. Otherwise it would be a good idea.

Gaining extra qualifications probably isn't really doable. I did think about it but I wouldn't be able to manage maths, just being realistic here, and without that most routes are closed.

FlowerPotMum Sat 16-Dec-17 08:18:18

The thing is OP, what if you go to a client and they've fallen? Or been taken ill? That's your 15 mins gone and your baby left in a car unattended.
Have you got a mum/friend/older teenager near by? Could you do a childcare swap? You have there's on a day which makes their live easier and they have your baby one evening and the weekend?.
No disrespect to others, but I don't think the OP is in the position to have an au pair ( apologies if I'm wrong OP).
Have a look at for a good benefits calculator. Why are you only getting £10-£15 for a night shift?
Good luck.

eurochick Sat 16-Dec-17 08:20:24

It's a crazy idea. Plus it's really cold at the moment. You couldn't leave a baby in a frosty cold car.

Sagethyme Sat 16-Dec-17 08:24:40

Could you get a job as a nanny and then take your LO with you? Or look into private care work with more social hours? OP there are people desperate for decent, private carers, and some of the folk I know who need help in their own homes would be happy for you to bring your Little one to work. When you are next at a newsagent, have a quick look to see if you can find 'the Lady' and see if they still advertise for may well find a solution to your difficulties. Good luck.

Bobbiepin Sat 16-Dec-17 08:25:15


Magpie24 Sat 16-Dec-17 08:27:07

Is there any chance the baby can come into the appointment with you? I know if I was being visited I wouldn't mind this but of course some people might.

user1498854363 Sat 16-Dec-17 08:27:38

OP, I work in a similar field, have staff doing shifts and young children. Am part of a decent organisation that helps with training and upskilling, including maths and English support (very common),NVQs etc. Sounds like you would benefit from that. Minimum wage should be paid also. If you are keen, enthusiastic etc then there are flexible hour posts that may suit you. Think about different jobs. Job share where u share child care for each other? Wishing you good luck

BunsOfAnarchy Sat 16-Dec-17 08:28:27

Absolute no. You can't leave baby in car. Strike that thought from your head.

Is it worth even going out for £10/15, does it even cover fuel? It's barely minimum wage?

You'd be better off doing something else.
Plus if only for 2 hours and baby will just sleep, I think your dh can look after baby?

If you haven't many qualifications, use this time to start some from home.
If you leave your husband you definitely won't be able to cope on your current job as it is.

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