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To go to Canada for a week and leave dp in charge of dd?

(85 Posts)
HeavyMetalMummy Sat 16-Dec-17 07:04:28

My best mate lives in Canada. We've not seen each other for a good couple of years and it's fair to say I've missed him terribly. Especially since having dd, I don't have many friends and rarely socialise partly because of this but also because of child care issues (dp often has to work weekends and I work Monday to Friday) we have no family locally. I have never spent a night away from dd, however dp has gone on weekends with his mates. Should clarify this is because he has an actual local social circle unlike me. However, this wouldn't just be a weekend jaunt it would be a full week of just him looking after dd. He'd have to take holiday time in order for it to happen as he would typically start work at 6am and although our child minder loves our dd like hell would she be having her over that early. Having said that there is no reason why dp couldn't drop her off at usual time each day and enjoy a week with his days mostly his own if he wanted. So would I be unreasonable to go? My friend is very well off and has offered to pay for my flights. Not going to lie I would love a break but is it unfair to dp?

Sirzy Sat 16-Dec-17 07:06:36

I was going to say yanbu until it got to the fact that your Dp would need to use a weeks holiday to allow it to happen which I do think is unfair.

Can you not save and all go together to Canada?

HeavyMetalMummy Sat 16-Dec-17 07:07:02

Should add this would be middle of 2018 and dd would be around 2.5 yo.

mogulfield Sat 16-Dec-17 07:09:31

I don’t think it’s unfair, if; he’s afforded the same opportunity, and he’s got a decent amount of annual leave.
My DH and I really try to encourage each other to still do some stuff we enjoy on our own, for example I went skiing on a work trip and he went away with friends to Berlin.

HeavyMetalMummy Sat 16-Dec-17 07:12:14

I know that is the bit where I'm a little :-S too. But having said that we don't go anywhere or do anything and he tends to use his holiday time for random 'me time'. It would take YEARS to save that amount and the whole idea is for me and bestie to spend some quality time without having dd in tow - I know that sounds mean but it's supposed to be an 'escape' from parenting for a bit.

XmasFairy86 Sat 16-Dec-17 07:15:28

Personally I'd jump at the chance! He's given annual leave for a reason. He can use it how he wants. This will be a fab opportunity for you, but for your DH and DD. Some proper daddy daughter time.

Pengggwn Sat 16-Dec-17 07:18:56

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Ansumpasty Sat 16-Dec-17 07:24:39

Why would it be unreasonable?

Sullabylullaby Sat 16-Dec-17 07:25:41

Sounds fair enough to me.

Mummyoflittledragon Sat 16-Dec-17 07:31:48

Sounds ok to me. You also are entitled to a break. And perhaps he could work part time or less hours that week.

LolitaLempicka Sat 16-Dec-17 07:32:35

Yes, go. Why on earth wouldn't you? I have been having much more than just one week a year in my home country since my children were tiny.

Missingstreetlife Sat 16-Dec-17 07:42:07

Go if your dd will be ok, or take her too

LePetitPont Sat 16-Dec-17 07:43:22

Could your husband negotiate with work that he’d do reduced hours that week, so he wouldn’t have to take a full week of leave but could fit with the childminder’s hours and do the days when she isn’t available? Would be nice bonding time for them if you think she’d be ok without you! A week of uninterrupted Canadian catching up sounds like bless.

ZigZagIntoTheBlue Sat 16-Dec-17 08:39:54

Another vote here for starting later or doing half days, though I suppose that depends what does!

SendintheArdwolves Sat 16-Dec-17 08:49:09

Do it. Go. Book it right now.

Your DD will be with her father fgs - she'll be completely fine. I'm guessing that you are required to fit your work around childcare in the usual scheme of things so he can do the same for one week.

Forget any suggestion of taking your baby or saving up until you can all go. This is a chance for you to spend time with your best friend, just the two of you - not being a mummy, not being a wife, just you.

sonjadog Sat 16-Dec-17 08:54:22

I´d definitely go. If you do a lot of the childcare, it will be good for him and your daughter to spend some time alone. Also good for you to spend some time just being you instead of being mummy.

CurlyBlueberry Sat 16-Dec-17 08:57:44

You should definitely go, and enjoy yourself.

Matildatoldsuchdreadfullies Sat 16-Dec-17 08:59:19

Honestly, if I was your dh, I would be more than a little dubious about your male friend paying for your jaunt. Friendship is one thing, but this seems to be crossing the line.

Ginorchoc Sat 16-Dec-17 08:59:42

Many full time working single parents juggle work and childcare so can’t see why your husband can’t, go! Sounds an amazing opportunity.

Matildatoldsuchdreadfullies Sat 16-Dec-17 09:12:43

Sorry - I think the 'he' in question is your dh blush. That'll teach me to read more carefully.

Haidees Sat 16-Dec-17 09:17:38

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Footle Sat 16-Dec-17 09:19:10

The friend is paying for the flights. Sorry to hear this idea is so scandalous , Matilda. A woman can have male friends who don't pose a sexual threat to her partner. Why are you making this sound dodgy? That's not what OP is asking about.

HeavyMetalMummy Sat 16-Dec-17 09:41:54

No matilda you read right, bestie is a man. We've known each other since we were 15 so 18 years of friendship.

AJPTaylor Sat 16-Dec-17 09:55:08

I would go. Dp would deal with it. 1 week in 2.5 years is nu

HeavyMetalMummy Sat 16-Dec-17 09:56:41

Working reduced hours wouldn't be possible for him unfortunately due to the nature of his work and staffing levels so he would have to take full days off. It would have been a great comprise but sadly not an option

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