to be cross about this?

[WhyOhWine]

DD 13 recently lost her phone. We are not rushing to replace it in part because we are still holding out some hope of it turning up. DH is a SAHD (DDs are 13 and 14 so fairly easy life, and he tends to describe himself as semi-retired rather than SAHD!)

Today was DD's last day at school before Christmas. She did not know whether her school was finishing at lunch time or normal time (first term at new school,so no past experience of what normally happens at the end of term and she had not thought to ask, and dont think we got an email). She hoped to go out with friends after school if it did finish early but had not made specific plans (as she is new she is still finding her way in her new friendships when everyone else has known each other for 2 years). She had money with her but no phone (see above) or keys (she does not normally carry keys unless DH says in advance that he is not going to be in). DD1 had plans after school. DH knew all of this (lack of keys and phone, and uncertainty about school finish time and plans).

I spoke to DH at 11.30 and he said he was about to go out (PILs are staying are they were planning an art gallery or similar). If DD2 had finished at lunchtime and come straight home, she would get home around 1, and they would definitely not be back by then.

I appreciate that there is fault on DD2's part (losing phone, being vague about plans). But was I wrong to tell DH it was not appropriate for him to go out and potentially leave her stranded for several hours with no means of contacting anyone if she did finish early and come straight home?

BTW in case relevant, he dropped her at school this morning and she did ask for keys when he droppped her off (but not while still at home). He could have given her his keys because PIL are staying and could have let him back in (although it would probably have involved waking them up).

[chickenowner]

I think that the adults in your family need to take responsibility and be better organised.

[RhiWrites]

Not unreasonable. But I’d assume you’d remind him and he’d say “oh yeah, forgot about that”. Why are you pissed off? That he didn’t remember or did he get start about it?

[RhiWrites]

*arsey not start FFS.

[dertyyuoih2]

I think logic would have been phonecall to school this am asking what time they finished! Would have saved all the hassle thereafter!

Then you wouldn’t have had to tell DH he couldn’t go out as given in laws are there it’s not unreasonable to not want to be trapped inside all day on the off chance DD might have come home early

[TwitterQueen1]

Blimey, what a kerfuffle over nothing. Why doesn't your DD have keys anyway. Why don't you have a spare key hidden in the garden somewhere. Why didn't your DD just leave a door open?

I'd have been pretty pissed off at having to stay at home just on the offchance a DD may come home early.

[curryforbreakfast]

So school didnt finish early and there was actually no problem at all?

[TwitterQueen1]

your DH leave a door unlocked I mean

[mum11970]

Would a phone call to the school reception been too much trouble? It was something that could have be sort with one single phone call.

[LIZS]

I'm confused. If she had finished at lunchtime she was going out. By which time someone would have been home again. But it didn't happen anyway! Was it really not online or in a text or newsletter reminder when they finished today? Is dd1 at a different school?

[Allthewaves]

Get your daughter he own key

[TheSnowFairy]

You should have looked at the school website / newsletter or spoken to other parents to see what time school closed.

[TheSnowFairy]

Ps you meaning you or your DH

[Fruitcocktail6]

Yea, as adults one of you could've just checked with the school.

[SaturnUranus]

DD should have her own key and an emergency plan for what she should do if she ever loses the key and no one is home, eg go to a friend's house, spare key hidden or left with someone.

If there was no information on the school website, your DH should have contacted the school to check the finishing time.

[WhyOhWine]

Yes I agree she should carry keys. DD1 chooses to do so just in case.That will happen in future, but he knew she did not have them today and I am only talking about today. I agree it was reasonable for him to think he should go out with his parents, my point is simply that he should have made sure in advance that this would not leave DD stranded. I also agree he could have phoned the school. In fact that is what I suggested when ibspoke to him at 11.30. he was going to go out without checking knowing that could leave her stranded.

As it happens school did finish early, she went out for a little while and got home at 2.30. I spoke to her at around 3. He was in when she got home. I do not know if he ended up checking with the school and if he went out in the meantime.

What I am annoyed about is that he knew he could leave her stranded and was happy to do so, i suspect as punishment for losing the school. I also think that there were mAny ways he could have sorted this like giving her his keys or checking with the school without me having to tell him.

[Glumglowworm]

I can’t believe none of you (including DD2) bothered to actually find out what time school finished! Surely the other kids were talking about it? Or the school website? Or even calling the school would be a 30 second job!

And a 13 year old should have their own keys. Unless possibly they have lost ten sets of keys in the last six months or something but I’d have thought you would’ve mentioned that