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To play Christmas Card Chicken with SIL?

(37 Posts)
Ninepence Fri 15-Dec-17 10:07:32

I have a Christmas card written out to SIL and BIL.

We've posted or hand delivered all the others.

WIBU to leave it on the mantelpiece until either (a) they come round? (b) it gets to the last posting date, and I put it in the post on 21st December? (c) they sneak round and put our card through the letter box when we are out and then I post theirs?

Background - they last came over to ours on Boxing Day last year, meal and stayed over. We called at theirs end of January with a card and flowers for SIL's birthday.

Since then, nada. DH's birthday card through the post, my birthday card through the post. So we posted BIL's birthday card. I know, I know, childish smile.

chocolatestrawberries Fri 15-Dec-17 10:08:54

?

Tinselistacky Fri 15-Dec-17 10:10:20

Yanbu to leave it on the mantlepiece.
The realisation that a single bloody stamp costs 65 p is enough to not post it!!

Ninepence Fri 15-Dec-17 10:11:41

It's Large Letter fgrin!

Blackteadrinker77 Fri 15-Dec-17 10:11:47

You're right, childish.

MrTrebus Fri 15-Dec-17 10:13:36

That's odd are they just dicks or Did you maybe upset them in some way? Have you tried to see/speak to them since January? I'd just post it and not be childish and take the upper hand.

SantasLittleMonkeyButler Fri 15-Dec-17 10:15:36

Eh?

Is there something wrong with posting birthday cards now? confused

What's your problem?

SandAndSea Fri 15-Dec-17 10:16:06

You could just post it and forget it?

Lots of us have family we don't see much of. Christmas and birthday cards act rather like placeholders - they can keep the relationship going in a positive direction until things get back on track again.

On the other hand, it's fine not to send any but if you've already sent them to everyone else it could cause upset. I would just send it and move on.

Tinselistacky Fri 15-Dec-17 10:16:18

Did they perhaps get food poisoning last boxing day and are still punishing you!

Ninepence Fri 15-Dec-17 10:19:47

It's complicated. They are both dicks, but in different ways.

He's a know-all gobshite and she's an oddball. I don't want to analyse further, it would tip me over the edge.

We have history of not seeing them for months and then being in each others pockets (but they are such hard work).

If we weren't related, I honestly wouldn't bother.

Ninepence Fri 15-Dec-17 10:21:10

I will post it, to keep the peace.

DeadGood Fri 15-Dec-17 10:22:08

Seriously though, do you really think that posting a card is an act of passive aggression? Why?

Ninepence Fri 15-Dec-17 10:26:07

@DeadGood, yes, they are being passive aggressive. They live 10 minutes away.

Another reason why I'm waiting to see if they call round.

CruCru Fri 15-Dec-17 10:29:26

Maybe they’re busy? I haven’t had any free days at the weekend since the middle of November.

Sarahjconnor Fri 15-Dec-17 10:30:47

If you don't like them just don't send a card and forget it!

crunchymint Fri 15-Dec-17 10:32:28

You are being childish. Maybe they have stuff to deal with that you are unaware of?

curryforbreakfast Fri 15-Dec-17 10:32:43

yes, they are being passive aggressive. They live 10 minutes away

or maybe they have decided they can't be arsed with you any more?

Ninepence Fri 15-Dec-17 10:35:48

Yes, I am an awful person, that is it!

Thanks for the confirmation, and bye all!

curryforbreakfast Fri 15-Dec-17 10:40:26

Well, you think they are awful dicks, it can't be out of the bounds of possibility they think the same about you, can it? confused

gingerbreadmam Fri 15-Dec-17 10:42:22

I found this thread quite funny including the title. Play away OP. Go for it.

i also have an idiot SIL

Schlimbesserung Fri 15-Dec-17 10:48:00

My SIL posts cards to us and she has to pass our house to get to the post box. They live 2 houses away from us!(in a house my husband gave them).
It just makes me chuckle because she is really tight and will HATE having to pay for a stamp, plus I don't want to speak to her anyway. She obviously feels the same.

sirfredfredgeorge Fri 15-Dec-17 10:48:39

Enjoy your fantasy that you're playing a game with these people who have absolutely no interest in you whatsoever, get whatever pleasure you want from it, they're hopefully off enjoying themselves doing other things, or maybe dealing lots of bad things who knows. All we know is they're not prioritising someone who doesn't like them out of some sort of duty - this is good, everyone should do that, the world would be a lot better place.

CaptainChristmas Fri 15-Dec-17 10:50:36

Well, you just called them dicks and you’re also being bizarrely childish about posting a Christmas card. It’s not beyond the realms of possibility that they find you not to be their cup of tea, is it?

Viviennemary Fri 15-Dec-17 10:51:41

Just post it now and then it's out the way. I don't get the problem here even if you haven't seen them for nearly a year.

nornironlady Fri 15-Dec-17 10:54:09

Be the bigger person, just post the card if you normally send one. Life is really too short to hang onto these feelings or let them affect your life. I've had family issues of this sort in the past and I only annoy myself!!! I find taking a step back and not letting those members get to me is the best approach.

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