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Not to exchange Xmas presents with my DH and vice versa

(32 Posts)
calistaraines Fri 15-Dec-17 08:02:29

Been together nearly 20 years. In the early years we used to exchange gifts. Not we literally get each other nothing.
Both happy with arrangement.
People are shocked when I tell them.

Beakyplinders Fri 15-Dec-17 08:05:38

There's no set rule on present giving, do what's right for you two.

Codlet Fri 15-Dec-17 08:06:17

DH and I have been together 20 years. This year I’m getting him a mug with a funny slogan! He’s getting me a pair of hiking boots because I need a new pair. Both happy with this smile

MoNigheanDonn Fri 15-Dec-17 08:06:26

If it works for you then that's all that matters. Dh and I spend £20 on each other, whether it's one nice thing or 20 pieces of tat - it's what works for us.

ILoveMillhousesDad Fri 15-Dec-17 08:08:51

Same here when we had our daughter.

We are lucky to be in a position that when we want something, we just buy it anyway, so it's difficult when it comes to gifts.

People look slightly taken aback when they ask what I'm getting my husband for Christmas and I say 'nothing' grin

MrsExpo Fri 15-Dec-17 08:12:47

We don’t bother much either. We both have birthdays very close to Christmas (his just before, mine early January) so we tend to buy birthday gifts and not do Christmas at all.

(Small exception this year - I saw a book I thought he’d enjoy in a charity shop and bought that for the princely sum of £3.00, so I’ll give him that smile)

Snowman41 Fri 15-Dec-17 08:13:26

I'm not sure why anyone would be shocked. Lots of people don't give each other. DH and I do now but when the eldest 2 DC came along we didn't have a lot of money to spare so agreed not to waste any on ourselves. Now we buy each other but only because the kids encouraged us to it, and we have more cash lol.

OhForFrigSake Fri 15-Dec-17 08:14:23

I've spent about £400 on DH this year (Been together 16 years). He is quite low maintenance and easy to please so I don't have to spend or buy lots but if I find something I know he'd love and would be too tight to spend his own money on then I'll get it for him. I have spent a lot less on the kids this year but then their presents are cheaper. I do love giving presents though!

TheSnowFairy Fri 15-Dec-17 08:27:39

No, nothing. Again, if we want it we buy it - plus it's DH's birthday in December and he is hard enough to buy for. We have 3 DC's and a huge extended family so get gifts from them too.

teaandbiscuitsforme Fri 15-Dec-17 08:29:54

We don't bother with presents for Christmas or birthdays at the moment. blush With 2 small children we just CBA. But we are able to just buy what we need throughout the year.

bananafish81 Fri 15-Dec-17 08:33:11

We don't do presents either. Together for 14 years, married for 3. We have enough 'stuff' already, and buy each other gifts throughout the year as and when, we don't need to buy stuff on Christmas day just for the sake of it.

SandyDenny Fri 15-Dec-17 08:39:49

What does it matter what other people think, you don't run your relationship based on that do you?

I genuinely don't understand why you would change something you are both happy with because other people do something different. Why would you think they're right and you're wrong?

Are you planning to change what you do based on the responses here?

BarbaraofSevillle Fri 15-Dec-17 08:42:46

Seems perfectly sensible. We just do token edible/drinkable presents. I've got DP some chocolate, nuts and beer that he likes that is only available online in the UK and he will probably get me a bottle of gin and some chocolate or I'm hoping for florentines but it's not the end of the world if I don't get them. My sister sometimes gets me florentines too, so if neither of them stump up the goods, I'll just buy a pack myself after Christmas.

Saves all the angst about people who spent too little, too much, bought the wrong thing - too sexy, too frumpy, too big, too small, for the house, same as last year even though he know's I didn't like it then, not enough thought and effort, not from the list, etc etc etc.

There is no point sending links and telling them what to buy, or even worse, buying your own present 'from DH'. That's just normal shopping and buying things for yourself dressed up as presents for show.

sparkli Sat 16-Dec-17 09:36:46

21 years together and we do this, too. I don't expect presents as an adult with kids. Dsis, who is married with kids, still writes a Christmas list hmm

bobbinogs Sat 16-Dec-17 09:39:30

Me and DH go to the theatre in January, I buy his ticket he buys my ticket. Apart from that no presents between us at Christmas, we don't need stuff and don't have lots of cash so prefer to spend what we can afford on the kids.

MysweetAudrina Sat 16-Dec-17 09:44:21

My dh asked me for a list with 12 things I'd like on it. I was talking to my dd 9 about what I had gotten him and she took it upon herself to tell him he better spend a lot on me lol.

GnomeDePlume Sat 16-Dec-17 09:47:03

Been together the better part of 30 years and haven't bought each other presents since before we lived together. As a PP said, it does save a lot of angst.

BarryTheKestrel Sat 16-Dec-17 09:54:19

We have a £30 limit and usually never get anywhere near it. We do get each other a token gift because we spend Christmas with very gifty people and the first time we both felt a bit left out with nothing to open from each other.

This year however I have breeched the limit because I'd got him a few little bits and then he mentioned that a pair of shoes he's been after for years (the were discontinued and have just started being made again) were available. I got them in a black Friday sale and wouldn't have got them otherwise as they alone would have breeched our limit.

I'd be happy without any gifts but I do like to give gifts. Especially things he wouldn't have bought himself.

Nomad86 Sat 16-Dec-17 11:33:59

We don't exchange presents at Christmas. We have simple tastes and if we want something, we buy it for ourselves. We also don't do anniversary/valentine's cards or gifts.

TheWhyteRoseShallRiseAgain Sat 16-Dec-17 15:14:27

We do but largely because DH didn't really have a traditional Christmas when he was younger and I like to make it nice for him.

CuriousaboutSamphire Sat 16-Dec-17 15:22:13

We don't do pressies, though I sometimes get a small daft thing, like a bar of chocolate.

We do go out between Christmas and New Year and scour Waterstones for non fiction books. Not quite sure how that started, but we both really enjoy it!

We don't do birthdays, etc either! Really can't be bothered. We just make each other a nice tea!

geekone Sat 16-Dec-17 15:54:12

Been together 20 years too. Very early on we both agreed we would always do Christmas presents, that it's not just for kids and we both make an effort to know what each other wants. We probably spend the same on each other as on our DS.

JustHope Sat 16-Dec-17 16:38:41

I get the same reaction OP. I am amazed that adults write lists for their DH as if they still expect Santa to come down the chimney. We do small stocking gifts nothing expensive and treat ourselves to a meal out at some point in the new year. With so much to get for DCs and others it just gets ridiculous.

sausagerollsrock Sat 16-Dec-17 16:46:06

Me and dh get the same reaction. But we choose to put the money towards a holiday. I value that more.

Onlyoldontheoutside Sat 16-Dec-17 18:24:22

When we were together in the he early years we used to buy joint presents eg a music centre,iPod etc.Mind you the first present he ever bought me was a dustbin because I needed one!

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