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AIBU?

Am I being too precious? *trigger?*

36 replies

KrayKray00 · 14/12/2017 16:09

I work in a court with vulnerable victims and witnesses. I have heard some of the most horrendous crimes you could imagine.

Anyway I am not very high up in my role. I have a team leader and a line manger and any desicions i make has to go through them.

Today I was in our witness/victim room and noticed about 20 magazines piled on the table in the middle of the room. These are “Chat”, “Real People” magazines which have awful titles of stories in them such as rape, murder, abuse.

I mentioned to my team leader I don’t really think they are appropriate for the room and she told me to “not be so silly” and “stop over thinking things”.

But I can’t help but wonder if I was in there for a certain cases I wouldn’t want to see these magazines on show?

If that makes any sense at all.

Ok they don’t have to pick them up to read but even the headings are quite detailed. I even said why don’t we put them in a box rather than in the middle of the table in full view.

Am I being over the top?

OP posts:
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restbiterepeat · 14/12/2017 16:15

No. I think you are right. They spin pain into a circus of horror and entertaining sound-bites.

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AmethystRaven · 14/12/2017 16:21

YANBU some of those magazine covers make me feel a bit queasy in the supermarket.

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LastOneDancing · 14/12/2017 16:22

I don't think you're being precious at all. I think you are showing consideration for the people you come in contact with.

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chestylarue52 · 14/12/2017 16:23

If I was you I'd source some national geographical and cosmos from a donation and quietly change them.

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Tinselistacky · 14/12/2017 16:23

I have sat in the witness room and seeing those would have been upsetting to say the least. Yanbu.
Glad you spoke out, hard enough being in there.

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RatherBeRiding · 14/12/2017 16:27

No, definitely not being precious. These trash-mags turn awful events into some kind of Jeremy Kyle/reality TV type "entertainment".

I really don't think they're the kind of reading material people involved in sensitive criminal cases would want to see.

Some nice gardening mags or home improvement mags would be better. But if your manager has already told you they're fine I'm not sure where you go from there.

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MissionItsPossible · 14/12/2017 16:37

YANBU at all. I also find it odd that they have these in hospitals with headlines like "I almost DIED giving BIRTH". They have an odd fascination with using exclamation marks and while grammatically correct, comes across as tasteless: "My ex husband stalked and STABBED me in the chest SEVEN times"! "I lost EIGHT stone and then became ANOREXIC"!

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RoseWhiteTips · 14/12/2017 16:39

You are right. Totally inappropriate.

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Furiosa · 14/12/2017 17:03

No, you're right. I remember Charlie Brooker talking about these magazines and concluding that if he had a scrapbook of the most awful crimes ever committed he'd be quite rightly questioned about his "hobby". However if they're professionally published and aimed at women they're somehow absolutely fine despite the fact you'd have to be utterly insane to find them entertaining.

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dingdongdigeridoo · 14/12/2017 17:06

You're absolutely right, and I think it's great you've identified this issue.

Some of these covers make me feel physically ill. There are often headlines about incestuous rape, pictures of women who've been beaten by their partners, graphic photos of deformities and horrible injuries. It's honestly bizarre to me that anyone looks at these magazines and goes 'ooh, that looks like a nice coffee break read'.

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Bluelonerose · 14/12/2017 17:08

I've never been in that setting but I've been in a similar setting where the magazines were more "home and garden" much better choice imo.

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AcrossthePond55 · 14/12/2017 17:18

If it were me, I think I'd quietly make those magazines 'disappear' one or two at a time and maybe try to replace them with something more 'neutral'.

I've had times in my life where a mag article title on the cover has upset me. Sometimes for good reason, sometimes for an OTT one.

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MrsRamiMalek · 14/12/2017 17:24

I have been in a similar position to you op and thought the exact same. I found them highly inappropriate just sat there on the table.

It is hard enough just to hear/read these things so I can't imagine living through them and then having to see that kind of material before or after giving evidence.

I personally think there could be better things made available. Yadnbu.

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DonnyAndVladSittingInATree · 14/12/2017 17:28

You are totally right OP! I actually am quite shocked that those would even be placed there in the first place let alone that your team leader has dismissed your concerns as silly!! Shock what you need is someone else to put in a complaint. Are there victim liaison workers there? Do you know any of them well enough to “suggest” they might find the magazines problematic?

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Wellfuckmeinbothears · 14/12/2017 17:32

No I absolutely agree with you, I had to be a witness against my ex who was convicted of battery and I really valued the neutrel magazines etc in the witness/victim waiting room. It’s very thoughtful of you to think like that.

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ZigZagandDustin · 14/12/2017 17:32

That sort of tragedy and torture porn is for the amusement of people who have no clue of the reality of these things. I agree those magazines are not appropriate entertainment for the people who will be looking for a distraction in that waiting room.

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whiskyowl · 14/12/2017 17:35

I don't think you're overthinking - I think you sound kind and considerate. YANBU.

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RaspberryRipple63 · 14/12/2017 17:36

YANBU. This is exactly why I stopped buying these sort of magazines years ago I now read The Peoples' Friend. I used to buy 'Woman' and 'Woman's Own' magazines,because they seemed to be of a better quality. But I even stopped buying them about 6 years ago as they had started to become more and more sensationalist. A lot of the time,though,the headlines on the front cover were exaggerating the story,and they actually turned out to be nothing like as bad as they tried to lead you to believe.

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Mulberry72 · 14/12/2017 17:37

YADNBU OP.

Some of the stories in those type of magazines are horrific and certainly not appropriate casual reading material for witnesses or victims of those types of crimes.

I’d be inclined to start replacing them or removing them altogether!

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Darcychu · 14/12/2017 17:37

deffo not appropriate, has she never heard of the word triggered? those things can trigger an awful reaction from someone who has been through it.

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wibblywobblywoo · 14/12/2017 17:39

YADNBU - As this thread is showing - just because the person one up from you in seniority didn't see it doesn't mean you're wrong at all.

Can you take it to the next level without seeming like you are snubbing your immediate line manager?

As others have said there really needs to be simple, totally neutral material on show in these circumstances, Nat Geographic, Country Life, Elle Decoration, stuff like that.

Personally I think you've made an excellent point and it's a really good idea so if you can pursue it without causing problems for yourself I'd go for it and feel good that you've done a good thing!

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iboughtsnowboots · 14/12/2017 17:39

I think you are being sensible and thoughtful. We have magazines in a not dissimilar environment, car, home, country life that sort of thing, nothing with any triggers in them if we could avoid it.

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Namechangetempissue · 14/12/2017 17:44

Over thinking, or perhaps they just haven't thought at all? I would have thought, like you, that these magazines had no place in a waiting room for a court, and that magazines about "neutral" subjects like travel, nature, cars, or puzzle books would be much better and more sympathetic.

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JohnHunter · 14/12/2017 17:46

You are right. Personally I don't think magazines of this nature belong in any public space (hospital waiting rooms, etc) but certainly not in a court. Your suggestion of putting them in a box seems very sensible. I wouldn't pursue it further, though. Your manager is being unreasonable but you have to pick your battles carefully.

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Cockmagic · 14/12/2017 17:46

I hate those magazines!

They have truly awful headlines followed by a smiling blonde model on the front page!

I hate the way they make people tragedies into entertainment. I have read lots of stories of regret from those writing to real life magazines.

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