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To think you're not that rude to a 4 year old

(203 Posts)
Whyisnothingeasy Thu 14-Dec-17 12:56:11

I might be being over sensitive as I'm having moving house dramas (on a whole other thread!)
But anyway. Daughter is at preschool. All ladies lovely apart from one older lady. She acts like she doesn't want to be there, whinges about the kids, and is very blunt and rude (there's been quite a few complaints re her, but management just says it's the way she is and to take no notice) A lot of parents have found this with her, not just me. Anyhow, I just try and kill her with kindness!
So last day of preschool today. Daughter had chosen some handmade truffles for the 4 teachers there, only 2 in a pack, tiny gifts, but she chose in the shop which ones were for which lady. She was really excited to hand them out to the ladies as xmas presents.
First teacher she ran up to today was Mrs Grumpy. Daughter beaming and excited and went to hand her the truffles while saying "merry Christmas" I stood behind and said "oh it's only a little something for you 4 ladies" Mrs Grumpy shrugged and said "I've not got time to look at those now" flapped her arms, refused to take the truffles, turned her back on my daughter and totally ignored her. My daughters face fell and she genuinely looked like she was going to cry. She then didn't want me to leave this morning and got a bit clingy as she was obviously upset.
All 3 other teachers took the gift gracefully and said how lovely they were and thanked my daughter.
AIBU to think that you're not that bloody rude to a 4 year old.
What on earth does this 50 year old woman get out of it. I am actually fuming that she can be that rude about a gift and to upset a 4 year old.
It was a tiny box of truffles, hardly something she'd have to stand and hold that weighed a tonne or would take her ages to look at.
They even had a transparent lid so if she just directed her eyes in that direction she could have seen what they were. Just a bloody "thank you, that's lovely" would have sufficed. Even if you don't like a gift surely you say "thank you"
Just can't believe she said "I've not got time to look at that" whilst screwing up her face and turning her back on a 4 year old.

ilovesooty Thu 14-Dec-17 12:58:21

She was rude.
Her age is irrelevant.

TenancyTroublesAgain Thu 14-Dec-17 12:58:26

That's beyond rude. Miserable fucker.

Trinity66 Thu 14-Dec-17 13:00:33

aww poor kid sad

But I agree with the first reply, why keep mentioning her age? :/

juddyrockingcloggs Thu 14-Dec-17 13:01:01

Ignorant Nobhead.

Take them home and let your little girl eat them.

RhiWrites Thu 14-Dec-17 13:01:17

Well no more presents for grumpy lady. Normally I think people can want too much hoopla over their PFB. But to brush off a gift like that is rude.

Whyisnothingeasy Thu 14-Dec-17 13:01:49

Been seething about it all day.
Half tempted to phone up preschool to check on how she is after leaving her looking so upset this morning.
There's no bloody need. Just makes me think if the woman acts like that in front of me then how does she treat the kids when I'm not there.

FrancisCrawford Thu 14-Dec-17 13:02:41

She was rude
But when you spoke of “an older lady”, I was not expecting to then learn she is 50. That’s middle aged.

Not sure why her age is relevant: young people in their 20s can be grumpy gits too

LemonShark Thu 14-Dec-17 13:03:01

That's disgusting. Given her overall attitude, and now this specific incident, I'd be inclined to make a formal complaint about her suitability to work with children. Might seem a bit OTT, but if she's like this with the kids in front of parents can you imagine how she treats them when she is on her own with them? I wouldn't be comfortable leaving my child with someone so cruel.

Whyisnothingeasy Thu 14-Dec-17 13:05:32

Just mentioned her age as the rest of the ladies are in their 20s and this other lady moans that she's been working in childcare for 30 years and has had enough of it. And often says she's too old for the hassle.
Was trying to cut her some slack if she's a bit older then she may be struggling to run around after 30 x 3 and 4 year olds.
Honestly the face she has on her every morning you'd think she hates her job.
Also was trying to say that she's old enough to know better.
A 17 year old nursery nurse may get embarrassed if given a gift and not know how to respond, but I'm sure after 30 years in childcare you'd know how to respond politely to a 4 year old.

parquet Thu 14-Dec-17 13:06:41

I don't think OP is being ageist, simply describing the woman. And she probably thinks that at that age she should know better!

So rude, OP. Miserable cow. I wouldn't give her the truffles, she had her chance.

parquet Thu 14-Dec-17 13:08:16

X post!

Whitecurrants Thu 14-Dec-17 13:08:21

I’d take the slightly PA approach of calling up and asking if your daughter is OK and tell them you are calling because she was upset when you left due to Ms Pita being rude to her (and to you if you were standing there too btw). I would certainly make sure preschool management know every time she is rude as this is unacceptable. Preschool is supposed to be a fun and gentle place.

Whyisnothingeasy Thu 14-Dec-17 13:08:45

Well I left the truffles with another one of the teachers to give to her.
I'll know not to bother getting her anything in future though.
I just feel really insulted that we've gone out of our way, my daughter spent a long time hand picking which truffles she thought each teacher would like and I've paid almost £5 on her for her to be so rude. Oh well.

Raver84 Thu 14-Dec-17 13:09:37

If it were me I would I would complain I would also be taking the chocolates back. Next time she does similar pull her up it immediately and just say "your rude".

AnneBiscuit Thu 14-Dec-17 13:10:18

[one older lady]

[50 year old woman]

Totally unnecessary comments.

lucylouuu Thu 14-Dec-17 13:11:30

Anne OP just explained she said that to highlight that she'd been working there a long time and knows better on how to accept gifts and treat a 4 year old then a 17 yo nursery nurse would. stop being so bloody touchy

lucylouuu Thu 14-Dec-17 13:11:49

better than*

AgnesNitt1976 Thu 14-Dec-17 13:12:10

yes let's focus on the age rather than the woman's actions

Frederickvonhefferneffer Thu 14-Dec-17 13:12:13

Have a word with her about her rudeness and attitude.

Whyisnothingeasy Thu 14-Dec-17 13:12:32

I just worry that if I complain that she'll treat my daughter badly. She's not particularly nice as it is. She's very blunt and has a way with words which isn't particularly nice. E.g. When my daughter was in nappies I walked in and the first thing she said was "she's been pooing for England today and quite honestly I'm sick of being in that toilet with her"
My daughter wasn't 100% last week, just had a cough and cold and she said to me "she's been pining all morning like she's just become an orphan"
I think management just turn a blind eye.

Frederickvonhefferneffer Thu 14-Dec-17 13:13:44

She needs confronted. That is treble.

Frederickvonhefferneffer Thu 14-Dec-17 13:13:59

No it isn’t treble, it is terrible

debbs77 Thu 14-Dec-17 13:14:11

I would ask for them back !

lucylouuu Thu 14-Dec-17 13:14:25

I would keep complaining, " that's just how she is " is not a good enough response I think it's nasty and she's in the wrong job

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