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Or is OH?

(8 Posts)
GerardNoWay Thu 14-Dec-17 08:40:31

OH driving me to work this morning. To get out of the street our house is on you have to pull out onto a very busy main road. It often means waiting for the traffic to quieten or someone to flash you out.

OH gets to the junction to turn left on to the road, not indicating. Cars are coming down the bank and starting to queue a bit but still moving. He pulls out as a red car is approaching. They did not flash nor did I see that they slowed any more to let him out.

Woman in red car beeps her horn, I thought she was going to crash into us. Luckily we didn't crash but I said to OH why did you do that? He starts off on a rant, apparently the 'silly bitch' was stationary and then accelerated when he pulled out.

I argued he did not indicate nor did she indicate that he could go. So if we crashed it would be OH at fault for the accident. OH then starts a rant saying that I never back him up with his driving, she was clearly at fault and if they had crashed it would be her at fault.

I still think otherwise.

So, what do you think. AIBU or is he?

stickytoffeevodka Thu 14-Dec-17 08:44:20

It really pisses me off when people don't indicate. Nobody seems to bother where I live - it drives me mad.

YANBU. He's joining the main stream of traffic so he needs to be aware of what other people are doing and indicate to let them know his intentions.

CommanderDaisy Thu 14-Dec-17 08:46:02

Him. People aren't psychic- if he wan't indicating how the hell was the red car expected to know what he was doing?

MsHopey Thu 14-Dec-17 08:48:01

I find people are very defensive when it comes to their driving. He probably knows he's in the wrong but finds it easier to blame others.
I've had people pull out on me and then stick their middle finger up. All part of the defence mechanism.
At least no one was injured, but him indicated would have been a good start.

GerardNoWay Thu 14-Dec-17 08:52:11

He never, ever admits fault with his driving.

I've never had an accident, I'm a cautious driver and would rather wait a few more seconds until it's safe to go rather than force my way out.

He is more devil may care about it and has had a couple of bumps since we have been together, both related to pulling out at a junction.

I suspect he is fed of me 'reacting' to things he does when he's driving. I'm quite a nervous passenger so I will push my imaginary brake or put my arms out sometimes. I get that that's probably quite annoying but it's involuntary and I always think I wouldn't have done it. He is dogged in his belief that everything he does is right.

dentalplanlisaneedsbraces Thu 14-Dec-17 08:54:39

My dh drives like this and I do the same thing grin yanbu but you can't change their driving

stickytoffeevodka Thu 14-Dec-17 08:59:36

I don't think many people like to admit they're in the wrong if they could have caused an accident. The anger is normally them thinking "thank fuck, that was close".

Then again, backseat drivers are annoying too. My DP used to be a bit like that, until I pulled over and told him I managed to drive myself to work everyday without his comments, so if he couldn't control himself, he could get out and walk. The only time he comments now is if I'm asking him for directions - otherwise he knows to keep shtum, though I'm still a better driver when he's not in the passenger seat!

MsHopey Thu 14-Dec-17 09:06:56

I'm exactly the same. I try to look like nothing phases me now, but sometimes my OH gets right up people's arsed and I'm bracing my legs against the floor (surely that means they'd just break in an accident, but I can't help myself). And I try to breezily say things like "woah, I didn't know this is a 40 road" when we're clearly in a 30. He says he's just travelling in the flow of traffic.
I'm a confident driver, but I hate it. So if we go out as a family i try to make him drive, so then I feel I can't be a back seat driver.
Tbf neither of us have had an accident, but he also definitely feels he can do no wrong.
I hear him complaining about other people's driving, and then a minute later will do exactly the same thing himself!!!!

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