To hate my house?(74 Posts)
I'm not sure what I'm looking for here, maybe to vent maybe to see if anyone else feels the same.
Basically I hate my house. It's our first house we bought it 2.5 years ago and I just hate it for so many reasons but I'll try to list a few
- it's a two bed and tiny no space for anything anywhere
- bathroom was half finished when we bought it and we've done our best but it just looks awful and it's so embarrassing.
-carpet up the stairs and landing is awful
- we replaced all Windows and doors with double glazing but the house is still cold and we get so much condensation and mould!
- horrible laminate flooring downstairs that makes an already cold room even more freezing
- kitchen is tiny and there is no room for anything. Previous owners replaced kitchen but it hasn't been fitted properly and is just a mess.
- garden is tiny but has a huge summer house in the back which blocks the sun during the summer.
- the decking was rotten when we moved in (only found that our when dp fell through it)
There are loads more things I could go on all day. It's basically a mess and I'm embarrassed to have people over. We don't have the money to fix it all. We bought the house thinking it was lovley but once you move in and the previous owners furniture and stuff was all gone and you look at it in the cold light of day and you realise it is crap!!!
I want to move but we can't afford to so we just have to make do, but it gets me down that it is so awful!
Has anyone else been in this situation?
Make a long term plan to address every issue and start saving to achieve it. Sort out the priorities like the damp and mould. Is there leaky guttering causing it and check your damp proof coursing. Do you have the heating on enough or dry washing indoors?
Pinterest can help with suggestions for storage.
Cover the laminate with big rugs.
Ive just bought a house that needs a lot of fixes but we are doing it as and when we can afford to.
You could also consider a loan for home improvements if you can afford the repayments.
Are you 100% sure you can't afford to move? If not Can you borrow further on your mortgage to do the place up to your required standard? There will be things you can do. Whenever is getting mouldy might need fresh plaster. A bathroom and kitchen can be less money than you think and borrowed on your mortgage over 10+ years can be inexpensive monthly. Good luck!
You have a house - you can improve on it - count your blessings!
Sell the summerhouse and then do it bit by bit. I've lived in my house 15 years and we still have stuff to do.
The first thing I would do is buy a dehumidifier. My mum got one for her damp house and it has really helped.
Get a dehumidifier for the damp, I've got a really bad condensation problem in my house and I bought a dehumidifier off Ebay for £60.00 and also some of those condensation traps. The problem is now solved.
Obviously check like the person above says that you have not got a leak or anything as well.
I'd do up a room at a time, starting with the worst problem and try to get everything cheap off Ebay or in the sales.
Pretty 100% sure moving is out of the question...estate agents fees stamp duty and solicitors fees...we just don't have the money for it. We were lucky to get put house in the first place.
It probably doesn't help that I'm on maternity leave so sitting looking at all this stuff that's wrong all day and not being able to do anything about it gets me down.
I will look into a dehumidifier.
I had this problem after 4 years in my old house. I did it up and sold it. The agent called it the '4 year rule' or something. Apparently if you are going to get fed up with your house it can happen around that time. Much happier in bigger house
but the things your not happy with are do able to start with,so do the easy things rug,de humidifier,new carpet
you can do it cheaply within reason
have the windows been fitted correctly,reputable company,you shouldnt be getting mold etc
De humidifier first.
Rugs for downstairs second - look on gumtree, shpock, ebay for second hand. Waifair, amazon, tk maxx and ebay for cheaper new ones.
Look into how to prevent damp, look at guttering, drains, do you dry clothes inside etc? You might need to get a professional to look but cross that bridge when you come to it.
Start saving for new stair carpet, might take time but at least you're on the way.
In spring list summer house on shpock/ebay/gumtree for sale - buyer dismantles - see what similar have gone for to price correctly.
Remove decking yourselves and take to tip, replace with cheap slabs or gravel - again check for second hand.
It's all stuff you can overcome, you can do it, it will take time but make that list and start ticking stuff off, honestly you'll feel loads better when you do.
a house is like the seven bridge,as soon as your finished you have to start again
ive been in mine 22yrs and there ia always something needs doing
i suppose its the downside to having your own place
We had very similar problems with a bungalow we rented.
Don't know if it'll help but here's how we addressed the same problems as you've got.
- it's a two bed and tiny no space for anything anywhere- * Tough one, but we went by the rule, if we haven't used it this month, sell it. We also bought under the bed tubs, and stacker tubs for the dead space in wardrobes*
- bathroom was half finished when we bought it and we've done our best but it just looks awful and it's so embarrassing. * Depending on what's half finished, we just lined the bath/shower with a plastic strip (kind of like coving- sorry I've lost the name for it!), put a new skirting board in, tiled the bare parts of the wall where mould loved to grow"*
-carpet up the stairs and landing is awful- If it's worn there's not much you can do with this I'm afraid apart from replace it. Unless it's just dirty like ours was then we got a carpet cleaner round. Only cost us about £100 and brought it back to life
- we replaced all Windows and doors with double glazing but the house is still cold and we get so much condensation and mould! Hire an industrial water condenser- took all the damp out of the walls, carpets etc
- horrible laminate flooring downstairs that makes an already cold room even more freezing * Get a massive rug*
- kitchen is tiny and there is no room for anything. Previous owners replaced kitchen but it hasn't been fitted properly and is just a mess. Same principle as point one
- garden is tiny but has a huge summer house in the back which blocks the sun during the summer. Get a hammer to the summer house
- the decking was rotten when we moved in (only found that our when dp fell through it) Same as above- you can get a skip for £100
Sell or dismantle and burn the summer house.
Have a huge tidy and de-clutter of the whole house and garden. Sell anything that will sell, and donate the rest.
Buy some nice rugs, throws, cushions, curtains etc, that will make the house more homely and cosy.
Investigate storage ideas online, but de-clutter first!
Then make a list of what needs doing, such as repairs, dealing with damp or mould, new flooring, decorating etc.
Tackle one thing at a time.
Today 16:07 Ashamedandblamed
Go on diy on a budget on Facebook. Some of the silver shit is mental but some things are genuinely brilliant ideas.
Everyone is cheapskates so it's fab and cheap !
Make an action plan to upgrade the things that need doing. You'll have to do some of the work yourselves if money is tight, but it's amazing what you can do.
- spend a lot of time planning. Think about the storage you can get to move things out of living space and onto shelves/cupboards. Pinterest is a brilliant help, Ikea hacks are great too!
- save space in your kitchen by buying things that nest/stack - Joseph are brilliant.
- paint walls in light colours - makes the room feel bigger
- save up for the bathroom to be fixed and for a new hall/stairs carpet (the latter is quite cheap)
- buy a cheap rug to disguise the cold laminate floor
- buy shade-loving plants and make the best of your shady garden! Get rid of the decking, it's completely unfashionable now anyway.You can do a lot in a garden for not much money if you buy plants small and grow them on, and if you make your own compost.
My house was a wreck when I got it.
It's still a wreck, but I did up the kitchen and bathroom by buying 2nd hand and fitting it myself. Long way from being amazing but a lot better than what came before it.
I'm slowly but surely modernising and decorating as I get the money, but it's a slooooow process. Most rooms are just bare floorboards.
Still better than renting though!
Maternity leave is tough because your time and energy is diverted elsewhere. Some easy pre rival steps which may help:
1) Stay focused.... address one room at a time, finishing one before you move onto another. Then that room and subsequent ones can be your salvation when you feel overwhelmed. Make it a challenge to see what you can do to improve it with a minimal spend. Reuse whatever you can (maybe elsewhere in the house?), buy a tin of paint or a new rug, switch the furniture around.
2) The most life-changing thing, if you live in a small space, is to learn to throw stuff away without guilt - and then not to accumulate clutter in future. Look at each item - If it comes with feelings of guilt (“I must get round to using that one day”) or doesn’t give you real pleasure (or if the pleasure of owning it doesn’t match up to the space it takes up), then get rid of it. Or better still, don’t even take it home in the first place.
3) Every day, spend 20 mins night and morning getting the house shipshape - empty bins, make beds, plump up cushions, sort out the kitchen, put a wash on etc.
4) Condensation can be easily addressed by ventilating the house regularly. I know it’s cold, but opening all the windows for 15 mins every morning will make the world of difference, as will never cooking, sleeping or showering without a window open a crack. It’s not rocket science and unless you’re drying a lot of washing in a small space or can’t afford to leave the heating on for a couple of hours at a time, you don’t need a dehumidifier.
The main thing is, do you like where it is? Becuase that whole list you have pretty much applies to our house too, but because we love where it is we are gradually working on making it the home we want. But if we didn't like the area, we'd be doing work focussed on adding saleability and value.
As others have said look into a dehumidifier. Make sure you keep the place ventilated, open windows whenever you can especially if you're drying washing inside, having hot showers etc.
Might be worth getting the new windows checked out, they should be under guarantee?
If you haven't already, check you've got insulation. You can get cavity wall and loft done for free if you meet criteria. A small two bed with new doors and windows shouldn't be so cold, would be worth finding out the cause. The rest is as others have said and it does just take time
Our house needed loads doing when we moved in, but it was kind of obvious... (wood panelling in the bathroom painted in Matt emulsion, including behind the shower!). We moved in two years ago and only replaced the carpet a couple of months ago. We lived with the bathroom for a year.
My tips are to prioritise. The fabric and condition of the house first, decorating comes after. The messy jobs before clean jobs. So we spent money at first on the roof. And the unexpected mains pipe leak. Then the plastering etc.
Re your house stuff, I’d put cold and damp first because it will make such a difference to your experience of the house.
Work through: are there any issues with fabric of building? Roof, guttering. Is your house a cavity wall or solid wall (if it’s older then prob solid, post war then prob cavity). Do you have cavity wall insulation? Is your lost insulated? You may be able to get some assistance with these measures if not. If your loft is straightforward access, it can be a diy job.
Damp: this is often caused by condensation eg warm moist air hitting cold surface. do you have an extractor fan in the kitchen and bathroom? If you don’t, open the bathroom window and close the door after you shower. Put lids on pans and close the kitchen door/ open window when cooking. You can save to install fans later. Use a dehumidifier if drying washing indoors. You say you’ve done windows, what about doors? A curtain or draft excluder could make a difference.
Heating: is boiler serviced? Have your drained radiators?
Other stuff: this is partly about things you can do, and partly about reframing things. Why is it embarrassing to have a bad bathroom? It wasn’t you that did the lacklustre install! No-one worth bothering about is going to be judging your bathroom in your first home.
Also, cultivate the subtle art of not noticing things you can’t do anything about right now. Our garden is also a project, but I’m not looking at it because we are prioritising the interior. I also just didn’t think about the carpet for two years
Things you can do practically in the short term:
Get a rug for the laminate, and slippers!
Think storage solutions. Under beds, over doors. Pinterest can be quite cheerful browsing for this, although sometimes a bit more than you’d want to do. Also review stuff: do you need it? Get rid if not!
Do all you can to minimise condensation
I really enjoy bringing out the house that is there underneath previous owners weird decisions! Would that help, to think of yourself as house rehabilitation after effects of previous ownership? It probably helps me that cosmetic problems were pretty obvious, so other problems were to be expected. But with a bit of patience (and ability to just not see the stuff you can’t change) you might be able to polish up the house to be a cosy and comfortable little home.
OP I symathise. I had a house that I thought was going to be a dream house but I ended up hating. It wasn't even as problematic as yours. It just didn't live up to the expectations I had of it and I think that can sour you to things you would otherwise be OK with. We had planned to do work on our house to make it great, but for various reasons couldn't and then we found we had to move so work would have been daft. People who bought it off us did all the work we'd planned on and it is gorgeous now, but I'm still glad we moved. I ended up not even liking the area that much.
Of course, it's kind of unreasonable. You have somewhere to live. It's small but that's something you can adapt to. Sounds like it's costing more to maintain than you had really planned for and with a new/arriving child it's not surprising that's stressful. Just remember things pass. Your child has a home. Over time you'll get financially more stable and you'll be able to either renovate/expand or move. This doesn't sum up the whole of your life.
My only immediate advice is to get rugs with underlay for the laminate flooring, thermal linings for the curtains and see what you can get rid of. I find homes that feel too small are really stressful and the best way to improve if you can't expand the space is to cut down on possessions.
Join the discussion
Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.Register now
Already registered with Mumsnet? Log in to leave your comment or alternatively, sign in with Facebook or Google.
Please login first.