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“Let’s only buy for the children” Yet DH & I are the only ones childfree!

(452 Posts)
PinkJeggings Wed 13-Dec-17 14:56:04

Four couples: three with DC and us without. All either my siblings or DH’s siblings.

The longstanding agreement is to only buy for the children. So DH and I have to buy presents for five children. And we get nothing back in return!

AIBU to have a little moan?

SadTrombone Wed 13-Dec-17 14:57:55

...did you agree to this? Are you planning on having children at any point in the near to mid future?
If no YANBU.
Otherwise you may be a bit U but I'd still be pissed off if I were you so moan away!!

Lottapianos Wed 13-Dec-17 14:58:21

No, you are not unreasonable at all. I'm childfree too and would feel a bit hacked off. I'm all for cutting down on the Christmas madness and limiting the amount of gift-giving, but that does seem unfair

Baaaaaaaaaaaa Wed 13-Dec-17 14:58:36

Wow, the spirit of christmas lives on! You really are bu!

Trinity66 Wed 13-Dec-17 14:58:51

In my family, I have kids and 1 of my 3 brothers has kids. What we do is me and my brother who has kids buy for eachothers kids and then we do a secret Santa between all of us (me and my 3 brothers) because it's not really fair to espect my brothers with no kids to buy for 6 kids I think especially when they have none themselves

MrTrebus Wed 13-Dec-17 14:59:19

The etiquette is if someone is buying your kids stuff you buy them something back! It's polite. When it's family I can't believe they'd expect kids presents and not think to get you something in return even a token gift?! That's terrible. Just get token gifts for the kids if it really bothered you, you don't need to spend a fortune.

PaintingByNumbers Wed 13-Dec-17 14:59:31

Do you actually want presents? Go ahead and ask. I cant imagine anything worse, but your call.

QuiteLikely5 Wed 13-Dec-17 15:00:22

The fair way would be to still buy for you until you have your own kids.

That’s what happens here

Lottapianos Wed 13-Dec-17 15:00:33

Oh, and you will probably get more posters like baaaaaa telling you that its more blessed to give than receive, and stop being so miserable, and Christmas is all about the children, but that's all bollocks. Take it from me smile

PaintingByNumbers Wed 13-Dec-17 15:01:05

Its really code for 'we all think xmas present buying is shit but lets not ruin things for the kids'
You like cheap random unpersonalised tat, or a bottle of wine bought for you, just let themknow

BMW6 Wed 13-Dec-17 15:01:26

I am child free and have siblings with children. We only buy for children until 21. Some of my siblings give us presents "from the children" - but not all do.....

Raggs Wed 13-Dec-17 15:01:27

When we agreed this with some friends/family I would always get the child free adults something 'from the kids' to even it out a bit. I know you don't give to receive etc but when you have dc and people buy for them it's like a gift for you too so does seem a bit mean to leave out child free friends and family

LouHotel Wed 13-Dec-17 15:02:21

I think this has the potential for not be unreasonable.

In the sense if you have your kids 5-10 years after your siblings and they stop buying for your kids when theres turn 18. Thats crappy behaviour by families which ive seen happen.

SemolinaSilkpaws Wed 13-Dec-17 15:03:00

My Godmother many years ago announced she was giving up buying for us children as we were now all adults. Expected everyone to carry on giving her Grandchildren presents though as it ‘wasn’t fair as they had received less presents than everyone else.’ I tried to explain to her that as the youngest cousin by years I too had missed out but that of course was different.

crackerjacket Wed 13-Dec-17 15:03:15

Total bollocks.

You shouldn't buy for anyone's kids.

elQuintoConyo Wed 13-Dec-17 15:03:50

Buy something small.

Buy something extra between you and DH.

It sucks, doesn't it.

PugonToast Wed 13-Dec-17 15:04:14

I've said I want to buy for kids only. But we all have kids. And I'm buying for grown up kids now anyway. If a sibling hadn't had kids and was buying for mine, I'd always buy them a present anyway. Becuase I've been the last sibling to marry have kids etc and it can feel really lonely when everyone has moved to the next stage if you see what I mean and all celebrations are about kids and kid-centred

Firenight Wed 13-Dec-17 15:04:42

Even more awkward when the sister who has no kids declared we should only buy for kids. I can’t not send her nothing but also need to keep it really tokenish and postable.

Pseudousername Wed 13-Dec-17 15:05:11

We buy for nieces and nephews and then "no kids yet sister" also gets a gift.

I'd be mortified if she bought for the kiddo and her other niece and nephew, and then just went away empty handed - that's not very Christmassy at all!

AtrociousCircumstance Wed 13-Dec-17 15:05:28

The other couples are being dicks about this.

I suppose you would buy the kids gifts anyway though? Without the agreement?

I’m embarrassed for the parents though - how mean of them.

PugonToast Wed 13-Dec-17 15:06:00

@Firenight
Cinema vouchers or theatre vouchers?
National trust membership
Voucher for afternoon tea in a local swanky hotel?

dementedpixie Wed 13-Dec-17 15:06:43

I buy for children plus my brother who has no kids. It's only fair as he buys for my children and wouldn't be fair if he got nothing

BexleyRae Wed 13-Dec-17 15:06:47

Me and my 2 brothers have decided to only buy for the kids. But as 1 brother does not have any kids we are buying for him. Mainly i didn't want anything and never know what to get DB and SIL, but childless DB is easy to but for

Redglitter Wed 13-Dec-17 15:06:50

My SIL has the only buy for kids rule with her siblings but as I'm single and buy a small thing for my brother and my SIL and then spend quite a lot on the children I always get a gift from them and one from my nieces. Its always totally appreciated

MsHarry Wed 13-Dec-17 15:08:14

So DH and I have to buy presents for five children. And we get nothing back in return!

Wow!

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