To not want dds dad to take her away for the weekend?

[missladybird]

Dd's dad is off the scene and sees her every 3/4 months. She's 3 years old and has spent a total of 1 night with him since she was born. He lives abroad and when he comes to the UK next month he wants to take her to London for the weekend. AIBU to not want this to happen?

I know for a fact that she won't settle without me and he has no idea how to communicate with her which leads to her being in tears for most of the time she spends with him.

I know he's her dad and has rights etc. but I'm not comfortable with this.

[TiredFedUpGrumpy]

YANBU. He sees he 3 times a year, he's practically a stranger to her. I wouldn't like it one bit. Is he on the birth certificate?

[Keepingupwiththejonesys]

He's only ever spent one night with her, very rarely sees her (through his own choice at a guess?) But wants to take her away for a full weekend...nope. Yanbu

[missladybird]

He is on the birth certificate unfortunately.

I should mention as well that we live in Yorkshire so it's not like London is just a few miles away either.

[mustbemad17]

How he thinks that seeing her three times a year means he can take her for a weekend is beyond me. He is basically like a friend of the family who pops up once in a while!!! I wouldn't let him if i were you; and not because you are uncomfortable, but because you know your daughter will be

[AngelOfMusic]

I thought no way straight away at your original post add to that the fact that you live in Yorkshire there would be no chance of it happening.

[TiredFedUpGrumpy]

No. Fuck that. Let him get a court order.

Whereabouts is he from, just out of interest? And does she have a passport? He wouldn't attempt to remove her from the country would he?

[missladybird]

Yep through his own choice. He's a man child who doesn't like responsibility.

He's British but works in the Middle East (to escape responsibility). She doesn't have a passport so not worried about him taking her abroad.

I try to be reasonable but this is just something I'm uncomfortable with. I'm not letting it happen.

[Popfan]

Not in a million years! She doesn't know him and is too little to understand what's going on. Stand firm OP!

[Chocolate254]

If I were you I would actually apply for a passport for her as i'm pretty sure either parent can apply for it, I applied for my childrens without their fathers consent it was very easy he wasnt even made aware of it.
You only get one passport for her make sure you are the holder of it.

Also no way on him taking her away for the weekend.

[Fairylea]

Just no. He’s a stranger to her.

I would also investigate getting something registered at the passport office to stop him applying for a passport in her name and ever taking her out of the county - if he has links to the Middle East you would struggle to have her returned. I don’t mean to frighten you but you really must be careful.

When my dd was 6 months old I had a document lodged with passport control for similar reasons - if you contact the passport office they will tell you who to write to. She is now 14 and when I finally did want to apply for a passport for her we had to prove it was me applying and that I was happy to go ahead so it shows they do pay attention to it.

[Usernom1234567890]

Agree with Chocolate & Fairylea re passport.
No I I wouldn't let her go for 2 nights.

[HildaZelda]

Absolutely no way. Poor child wouldn't have a clue who he or what's going on. As far as she's concerned she's away with a stranger and doesn't know where her Mum is. YANBU OP, absolutely no way.

[Love51]

He doesn't have rights. Neither do you, come to that. Your daughter has rights. Her parents have responsibilities. In your case to protect her from being used as a trophy (presumably he wants to show her off to someone?) it is shit having to always be the bad guy, but you know your daughter and have to make the best decisions for her.

[dancinfeet]

No, No No!! Please don't allow it, as others have said, nothing to stop him applying for a passport for her and they could be halfway round the world before you realised that he had no intention of bringing her back