It's my husbands 30th Birthday on 23rd Dec. Given the close proximity to Xmas, many people understandably can't make it, which is a night out in a local city.
However we are spending it with two of his good friends and their partners - all good I thought.
Husband is disappointed by the turn out which I do understand but most likely his friends just aren't available two days before Xmas with family and other commitments. We also both work shifts and quite frankly, it's an absolute miracle that we have both been able to schedule that night off. Most of his friends are also shift workers and we all have to work over the Xmas period so we were always up against it in terms of numbers.
Anyway another of his friends has said he would like to come but he will also be seeing husbands ex GF that night (with his wife). His friend and the ex GF are still good mates but husband is not in contact with her and wouldn't refer to her as a friend.
I've met his ex on a couple of occasions - mutual friends birthdays, a wedding etc. She's a nice person, I have no issue with her and happy to chat to her in a large social gathering.
However, husbands friend and his wife have said they would like to come to his birthday but would it be ok if ex GF came too as they already had prior plans to see her.
Husband is fine with this and just wants as many of his friends there as possible. I'm just feeling a little uneasy about it, not because I'm jealous but to be honest I think I'm just going to feel a bit embarrassed to celebrate my husbands 30th with a very small group of friends.....and his ex. If it was a bigger group of people I would probably grin and bare it, but this just feels like quite an intimate gathering.
Because I'd previously told my husband that I thought she was nice, he's taken that to mean she can come and can't really see the issue. I don't want to make an issue out of it, I want him to have a great Birthday but I can't help the way I feel.
How should I play this?
AIBU?
Ex GF
StanMarsh · 12/12/2017 18:55
He was adamant that he didn't really care about seeing her, rather that he just wanted to meet up with this other friend.
Who knows, maybe he is secretly giddy about the fact he'll see her again!
I just think it's going to be awkward given how few people there are. Plus another friend who's coming literally hasn't seen her since she was going out with my husband - so I just think it's going to be totally cringeworthy, the three of us there together.
My other concern is that my husband doesn't handle his drink particularly well. We very rarely get drunk together these days as many a night out has been ruined by him acting like a knob. So, there is a real risk of things going south - combining a light weight husband and ex 
This reply has been deleted
Message withdrawn at poster's request.
I would have said it'll be fine, it's his birthday, etc. before the thing about him being a lightweight.
With that in mind I would suggest talking to him about it beforehand whether she comes or not.
I get the whole jealousy thing, I am that way inclined and tbh it would bother the crap out of me but I would still let her come because I trust DH. I would also make a point of "reminding him" how much he loves me being his wife before we went out, if you catch my meaning 
.
There is always the chance that if the other friends invite her and explain why she will turn around and say to go without her. I am guessing it would be awkward for her tbh and in her shoes I wouldn't want to go.
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