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Anxiety as an excuse

(172 Posts)
Nelly5678 Tue 12-Dec-17 16:11:52

Don't get me wrong! I know some people genuinely have anxiety issues, but is it just me or has suddenly in the past year everyone "has an anxiety disorder" the second they feel nervous over the slightest thing??? It's really starting to annoy me how people blame eveything on their anxiety, when all I wanna do is scream at them that they don't have anxiety!!! I can't be the only one...?

JoJoSM2 Tue 12-Dec-17 16:12:49

Luck of understanding on your part?

MadAboutYou Tue 12-Dec-17 16:13:40

How do you know they don’t have anxiety though? I take medication for an anxiety disorder, although I don’t tend to announce I’m anxious all the time. I think you’re being a bit judgemental. You don’t know what people are going through

lilyboleyn Tue 12-Dec-17 16:14:34

biscuit
And lucky you that you don’t actually suffer from anxiety.

TheEdge266 Tue 12-Dec-17 16:15:03

This is a difficult one. There does seem to be a great deal of people that have anxiety now. I've been on medication for years for mine. I don't tend to tell people about my anxiety issues. However, if I did I could be one of those people you accuse of not having real anxiety. You can't decide if someone has anxiety or not but I understand where you're coming from somewhat.

FuzzyCustard Tue 12-Dec-17 16:15:18

YABU. I have anxiety; sometimes it is worse than others. Sometimes I do stuff happily, sometimes under duress, sometimes I am unable to function.
I really hope my friends don't think I am being "nervous over the slightest thing" when I could be making a superhuman effort to get by.
And I can't say I've noticed any increase in "anxiety disorders".

Dozer Tue 12-Dec-17 16:15:51

Who do you mean by “everyone” and “people”?

MotorwayMingebag Tue 12-Dec-17 16:17:48

when all I wanna do is scream at them that they don't have anxiety!!!

And your qualification to definitively diagnose anxiety (or absence thereof) is what exactly?

Sparklingbrook Tue 12-Dec-17 16:18:07

You have no way of knowing if they have anxiety or not. Screaming at a person with anxiety isn't a nice thing to do.

Maybe just try and be a bit more understanding?

MrsBobDylan Tue 12-Dec-17 16:18:41

Yes, you are right, just in the last year everyone, and I literally mean everyone, has anxiety.

It is an epidemic of epidemic proportions.

Dozer Tue 12-Dec-17 16:18:46

And an excuse for what?

Rufustherenegadereindeer1 Tue 12-Dec-17 16:19:12

I dont have anxiety

I may occasionally be anxious about something

Two of my three children have anxiety...they were diagnosed this year so they may well have contributed to the figures

If you are referring to people saying they are for example depressed when they are a little sad or that they have anxiety when they are just a little worried about something then I understand your point

JaneyEJones Tue 12-Dec-17 16:23:28

I agree op. While anxiety is obviously a real mental health problem a lot of people do say they 'have anxiety' and when you talk them they are actually just slightly worried or nervous about an upcoming event or situation.

No-one tell can know the extent of course. When my teen says she has anxiety over something minor while I don't dismiss it, I gently suggest being a bit nervous is completely normal.

DianaPrincessOfThemyscira Tue 12-Dec-17 16:27:30

No one gets anxious or worried anymore - everyone ‘suffers from anxiety’. I don’t doubt a lot of people do - but a lot of people don’t and say they do to justify themselves.

It’s not ‘anxiety’ to be worried about your child who is travelling a long way on their own for their first job interview.

peachypips Tue 12-Dec-17 16:29:03

I think what you are possibly trying to describe is the difference between clinical anxiety and situational anxiety. The second is very much more common that the first and people who suffer from this can benefit greatly from talking therapy. I think the world we now live in has caused an increase in situational anxiety.

Clinical anxiety is a different thing and is an illness diagnosed and treated by a psychiatrist.

Pengggwn Tue 12-Dec-17 16:34:30

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MsVestibule Tue 12-Dec-17 16:35:45

I’ve always worried about stuff, but I know it’s just run-of-the-mill worrying.

I’ve also suffered from anxiety (temporarily) over a particular situation. It was crippling - e.g. I had to research and answer a comprehensive complaint for a voluntary role I was doing and literally could not open my laptop. It was a very physical response to a mental problem.

Perhaps people are more open about this type of thing now? In the past, they would have kept it quiet for fear that people would have thought they were being pathetic, but most people are more accepting if MH issues now. Obviously I don’t include you in that.

Doingthebattybat Tue 12-Dec-17 16:35:49

I don’t have anxiety. I feel a bit anxious about this sudden realisation I am the only non-sufferer in the country.

Sparklingbrook Tue 12-Dec-17 16:36:09

It's not like anyone needs to share their medical notes to prove anything. Just be kind about it.

SunnyCoco Tue 12-Dec-17 16:36:39

The thing is, you don’t know their medical situation

Yes it is completely normal to feel ‘anxious’ before a big presentation / meeting a load of new people / confronting a difficult neighbour, and this is normal and not to be confused with a serious anxiety disorder

The problem is you don’t know which they have so I think yabu to assume you know how they are

I have experience of both, and when I was actually Ill with it, the sheer terror I felt at meeting a really good friend for a cup of tea was unbelievably frightening - I was convinced I would die. That’s a horrible feeling and not something I’d want to pretend
I’m better now smile

ZigZagandDustin Tue 12-Dec-17 16:37:32

I just think how hard life must be for people who suffer from anxiety and people who think they suffer from it. Both are crippling things though may be clinically different.

I'm very lucky to feel content and on an even keel 99.9% of the time, it seems to be a rare thing these days.

Doingthebattybat Tue 12-Dec-17 16:38:53

Seriously my DB and DD both sufferer with anxiety and I feel so helpless seeing them so upset. If someone says they feel anxious then no one is in a position to tell them they don’t or are making excuses. You feel as you feel. I

theredjellybean Tue 12-Dec-17 16:40:55

I agree op... We have medicalised what is often normal reactions or emotions. And while having a society which is more open about mental health issues is good, if every human emotion is now a medical problem then we dilute and belittle the poor individuals who really have genuine mh illnesses.

One of my dsd recently told me was anxious she wasn't anxious enough about things... I laughed.. She was serious

AndhowcouldIeverrefuse Tue 12-Dec-17 16:44:27

I can't say I've noticed an increase in "people" saying they have anxiety and using that as an "excuse" (for what?). There was a very similar thread here a few months ago and the OP had her arse handed to her on a plate.

You do realise that the thought of other people's judgement makes anxious people even more anxious? For background, I am a diagnosed, have-had-therapy-and-meds, lifelong anxiety sufferer. Do I "pass"? hmm

MrsWooster Tue 12-Dec-17 16:44:37

I think what rufus said is spot on. It's real, it's awful but, as a sufferer, it's also fucking irritating when someone who is anxious about something says they 'have Anxiety. No you don't, you are nervous about a thing. Come back with your self diagnosis when you are destroyed by this awful condition, when you can't go out, or work, or make basic decisions or respond properly to the people you love best in the world and who depend utterly on you...
See also tinkly laugh "I've got ocd" merchants, because they like a tidy house or a bit of anti bac handwash. Come back when your intrusive thoughts horrify and paralyse you, or you have picked your fingers bloody.
Sermon over.

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