AIBU re social media exclusion

[GoldenTreeTops]

DH's family have set up a private Facebook group for them and their extended family. When we saw them last weekend they asked my DH if he would join the group. He mentioned that I have a FB account but he didn't. His mum then said, right in front of me, that it is only for family, blood relatives i.e. not me, only him. I wasn't taken aback as I have heard comments like this before. She then started to kick off because she wants to upload photos and videos of her DGC and share them with her relatives. Luckily, before I had to say anything my DH said no, he's not interested.

We are seeing her again at the weekend and I think she is going to bring it up again.

TBH if she had invited me I would have joined it. However, it is the "not family" comment that has got my back up. Our school is really hot on internet safety and I don't post pictures of my DC online. AIBU to say No, you are not posting pictures of my DC online that I cannot see and monitor. Also, when we are with them MIL and SIL are always taking pictures of DC and then I hear a uploading sound seconds later and within minutes I hear dings like someone has commented. SIL does this right in front of me.

[OnToTheNextOne]

You're unreasonable with your lack of understanding of the internet and child protection and thinking you can either monitor the internet and what images are available or that nativity images are shared out amongst peadophiles.

I think you're not unreasonable to feel a little excluded but why do you care so much when you clearly treat your MiL and SiL with such disdain?

[PigeonPie]

I'd be pretty cheesed off too. We've had the 'all your real family are here' phrase from my MiL referring to her side (who never visit us), whereas my side always involve DH so I understand.

I also feel very strongly that my children are not commodities to bandy about and don't publish pictures of them online. They have also chosen not to.

It will probably cause a row, but they are your children and have the right to privacy.

[Jaxhog]

That is extraordinarily rude of them. Surely you became family, once you married your DH! I am a little mystified though. Who's in their extended family? Is this really just blood relatives, or are you perhaps being expressly excluded?

On a practical front, you probably can't stop them posting pictures of your DCs that they've taken.

[GoldenTreeTops]

Grannies, aunts, uncles, cousins, second cousins, nephews and nieces. Anyone with any "blood" connection. I can think of a few non blood relatives who may have been given a pass.

I just feel that I shouldn't enable this type of shit behaviour by providing them with videos and pictures of the things my DC are doing.

[Candyfloss1122]

Outrageous....so she wants to use the group to share pictures of your DC, but as you aren't family you aren't to be included...what are you to her...just a womb?!
Yadnbu to be royally pissed off!

[GoldenTreeTops]

Next time she asks, what would you say to her without it turning into a massive blow up. I can't be certain my DH won't just go with it to keep the peace. I think I need to say something.

[liquidrevolution]

YANBU

I hate it when people upload pictures of DD onto Facebook. I have sent many emails asking for them to be removed and I dont care how wrong people think that is. DD can upload them self when she is older but at 3 she is too young to do so, so I have to make the decision for her.

DH is on a family whatsapp group which I refuse to join but at least its now out there for every random person to see.

[JustHope]

YANBU how rude

Also completely agree that they should respect your wishes about uploading pictures and videos of your DC on social media.