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to be a bit put out

(58 Posts)
NotAMamaYet Mon 11-Dec-17 22:59:50

background - normal** evening just getting into bed with boyfriend**

Me: tell me about when** you were younger

We both lived aboard (in separate countries) growing up** and tells fun stories of what he got up to - I'm easily** pleased grin

Him: no I'm** too tired you tell me about when you were in Berlin* (*I lived there for two years before uni)

Me: sorry** I'm** afraid** those stories are off limits tonight it's** your turn!

Him: whispers behind me slut confused

He says that's what I was insinuating and has stormed off in a huff because I don't want him all over me straight after he said that.

Even if I had been 'insinuating' which I wasn't I don't think it's ever appropriate to call your GF a slut?? He knows my history, and to say it's whilst we were in bed. I'm not FUMING just a bit put out and confused.

Aibu or is he?

NotAMamaYet Mon 11-Dec-17 23:00:20

Bold type fail - sorry!

TwitterQueen1 Mon 11-Dec-17 23:03:06

Oh FFS grow up. I have no idea what you're moaning about at all. How about you actually talk to your DP?

The most trivial of stupid arguments!

Maelstrop Mon 11-Dec-17 23:04:56

Imo, he is. My now dh had a terrible time accepting my rather wild past, bless him (rolling my eyes) but my past made me and that's what he loves. In bed is a bad time to start name calling. That should be your relaxation/fun/sexy place, not a cause of dispute. Was he some kind of monk before he met you?

NotAMamaYet Mon 11-Dec-17 23:05:19

To clarify - I'm aware this is trivial!! gringrin

We haven't had a row. I'm just asking in retrospect. Not all MNers are super serious

TrinitySquirrel Mon 11-Dec-17 23:06:32

I quite like it. Eh. Turns me on.

NotAMamaYet Mon 11-Dec-17 23:07:02

Thanks Maelstop - I think that's it

I don't actually mind him poking fun at my past - not wild but not angelic ! - perhaps just the timing

blue2014 Mon 11-Dec-17 23:17:09

Really? I don't think it's trivial at all! It's horrible to call you a slut. DH would never speak to me like that. Am surprised by the responses so far confused

AnneLovesGilbert Mon 11-Dec-17 23:21:57

I agree with blue. I’d be horrified if DH ever called me a slut. I don’t think it’s trivial either, it’s horrible!

People will come to their relationships with all sorts of different past experiences and he’s passing unnecessary judgement on yours in a mean and misogynistic way.

Givemeonereason Mon 11-Dec-17 23:25:09

Depends if it was said playfully.

CheshireChat Mon 11-Dec-17 23:31:48

I'd be angry with anyone calling me a slut, particularly somebody who is supposed to love me so I definitely wouldn't have him anywhere near me after that!

NotAMamaYet Mon 11-Dec-17 23:38:10

It definitely wasn't said playfully.

I just think slut is such a derogatory way to say it, even he was a bit dubious of my past ...

Haggisfish Mon 11-Dec-17 23:39:51

I would not be happy about that at all. Would be a deal breaker for me.

CheshireChat Mon 11-Dec-17 23:39:56

So did you call him out on it?

bluesu Mon 11-Dec-17 23:53:18

Errrr it’s not ok to call you a slut unless you’re in full on kinky dominatrix mode and you like being called a slut. Which clearly you weren’t.

Is he often a twat?

MrsAJ27 Mon 11-Dec-17 23:56:48

No, never been called a slut by any partner. If I was ever called a slut or bitch or any other derogatory name it would be the end of the relationship!

WhatALoadOfBaubles Mon 11-Dec-17 23:59:00

He's an absolute twat. How dare he? YANBU

MyKingdomForBrie Mon 11-Dec-17 23:59:40

We would have had row, definitely! I hate misogynistic terms like that, just reflects the disgusting attitude some people hold towards women.

SleepingStandingUp Tue 12-Dec-17 00:01:57

Oh FFS grow up. I have no idea what you're moaning about at all
So you think its ok for your partner to call you a slut??

I'd be passed off if DH called me one in any circumstance but put of the blue like thst is definitely not odd. He'd have been justified in ignoring you - he said he's tired and you keep pushing him to tell you a bedtime story is rude but he shouldn't have called you a slut

Battleax Tue 12-Dec-17 00:03:04

If he was serious, then that's pretty bad in a relationship and not "making fun of [your] past" at all, is it? So in that case, you're minimising.

If it was meant as a joke you're hugely over reacting.

ShoesHaveSouls Tue 12-Dec-17 00:15:20

If DH called me a slut, he'd be sleeping in the garden.

SheGotBetteDavisEyes Tue 12-Dec-17 00:16:41

Oh FFS grow up. I have no idea what you're moaning about at all

What a horrible comment.

OP, you say that it wasn't in the least bit 'playful.' Like another poster/s upthread, I would be horrified if my DH said that to me.

I don't actually mind him poking fun at my past - not wild but not angelic

He wasn't in your past, he doesn't get to judge it. And from what you say, it wasn't 'poking fun.' To suddenly call someone a slut is aggressive and judgemental. I don't think it's trivial, sorry OP.

Awwlookatmybabyspider Tue 12-Dec-17 04:50:45

Calling someone a slut is never light hearted. Its a horrible word. Please for goodness sake get some self respect and stop minimising it.

Awwlookatmybabyspider Tue 12-Dec-17 04:54:33

Twitter you're either think its fine for a man to call a women a slut or you genuinely didn't see that bit. I'd like to think it's the latter

Shoxfordian Tue 12-Dec-17 06:24:59

He's showing you what he really thinks of you- and women generally- he thinks its OK to judge you on your past and call you names. Not nice. Don't know how long you've been together but consider whether this attitude is kind, or healthy in a relationship

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