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To send this message?

(53 Posts)
GlitterFart Mon 11-Dec-17 21:24:09

(Posting my first thread in AIBU, yes I am feeling brave)

A very close friend of my DP has just become a dad (about 3 weeks ago), I have met him and his partner around 5 times over the course of a few years. Always got on well with both of them and look forward to spending time with them.

Recently went round to see the new baby and drop present off and got talking to DP’s friends partner, we have common interests and she is nice, funny etc. Seems like she is struggling with having a newborn, no time to shower or eat etc as she has an unputdownable baby, my AIBU is would it be weird of me to message her offering some adult company and someone to hold baby/make some food so she can shower and nap? I would be happy to do this as I have the time, but don’t want to impose or seem intrusive!

P.s she has no family locally if this makes a difference.

Tinselistacky Mon 11-Dec-17 21:25:16

Likely she will bite your hand off!!
Send the message!!

toolonglurking Mon 11-Dec-17 21:26:04

Oh god do it! I'd have killed for someone like you when I had my DS. Just say what you've said above, be friendly - I hope she takes you up on it!

Pengggwn Mon 11-Dec-17 21:26:23

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Reflexella Mon 11-Dec-17 21:26:50

Yes how lovely of you, please send it x

chocolateorangeowls Mon 11-Dec-17 21:26:54

As someone with a young baby I would say yes!

mumof2sarah Mon 11-Dec-17 21:27:05

I don't think you're being unreasonable at all. I'd have loved to have had a message like that. Obviously not making her feel like she's struggling just be like you had a lovely time when you visited to see the baby and you'd love to make it more of a regular thing, maybe have a coffe and then say if she ever needs anything you're there, even if it's just a sitter well she has some her time x

CocoLoco87 Mon 11-Dec-17 21:27:19

Definitely do it! What a lovely thing to offer! She can always politely decline if she feels awkward about it but at least she knows the offer is there. You sound like a lovely friend smile

ohfourfoxache Mon 11-Dec-17 21:28:05

Definitely do it - and take cake or biscuits with you for even more points!

stopfuckingshoutingatme Mon 11-Dec-17 21:28:38

That’s sweet ! Text her and if she puts you off don’t take it persoballly x

VladmirsPoutine Mon 11-Dec-17 21:29:27

Yes that would be lovely. Even if she doesn't take you up on the offer it will almost certainly be wonderful for her to know that you do care and are offering practical support should she choose to take you up on it.

As a side note, good thing you mentioned that you are friends, I'm almost 100% certain that should you have been posting as her MiL you'd be in for very different responses wink

HildaZelda Mon 11-Dec-17 21:29:37

Definitely send it. She may not take you up on it, but it's a lovely offer.

ohcecelia Mon 11-Dec-17 21:30:01

You sound lovely - send the message x

londonrach Mon 11-Dec-17 21:31:33

Please do that. Id have loved someone to helped whilst i slept. Thank god for my mil.

londonrach Mon 11-Dec-17 21:32:44

Ohfour..pity mn doesnt have a like button....id be liking your post!!!!

mistermagpie Mon 11-Dec-17 21:33:44

God do it!! People were so helpful when I had DS1 but when I had DS2 I didn't see anyone for dust. I had two under two, so it was quite hard sometimes and I would have bitten somebody's hand off if they had offered me even half an hour to shower and have a cup of tea in peace.

Bluntness100 Mon 11-Dec-17 21:36:18

Do it, but don’t send your op asking if she fancies a shower or a nap, she’ll think she stinks and looks knackered.

Send something like, hey how are you doing, fancy some company, I’m at a total loose end and happy to proverbially hold the baby whilst you have some me time, or even happy to make you lunch!

She might put you off as she will see it as hosting, if she does, don’t take it personally.

Dozer Mon 11-Dec-17 21:36:39

I would contact her and just offer to pop over to see her / meet up sometime with the baby, and not make the offer of holding the baby so she can shower, sleep etc: she doesn’t know you well and might interpret it that you think she’s not managing well.

MummyMummyMummyyyy Mon 11-Dec-17 21:39:16

Definitely do it!

Dozer Mon 11-Dec-17 21:43:04

I don’t think many of the mums I know would actually be comfortable to accept offers to hold the baby in order to sleep or shower, except perhaps from a very close friend or family member.

I personally would just have appreciated low key company.

MikeUniformMike Mon 11-Dec-17 21:45:09

Yes definitely. Offer to pop round for a natter and see how it goes.

Justaboy Mon 11-Dec-17 21:47:10

Go on offer hsome help if its like my DD2 with A new nipper she'd bite your hand off;!

mummmy2017 Mon 11-Dec-17 21:48:54

Maybe you can arrange to go round again with your DP, then make the offer to her in person, to meet up, or for her to come round to your house sometime..

If she seems ok with the idea, set a date that she can do, as I don't visit people on spec, but will go if they do a more formal arrangement.

BrizzleDrizzle Mon 11-Dec-17 21:53:45

I think she'll be delighted.

manicinsomniac Mon 11-Dec-17 21:53:56

Why would you not send this? I don't get your AIBU confused

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