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To not buy Ex's school photos?

(41 Posts)
AngelOfMusic Mon 11-Dec-17 20:25:40

I contacted my Ex about ordering school photos, he wanted me to order a package for him and his family which I did and I told him how much it would be.

He pays maintenance every month (£400+) and he thinks that the money that I receive should be used to by his school photos for himself and his family as it's to do with the children and he pays maintenance.

I don't think that's right but would love to hear what others think.

HoneyBadgerApparently Mon 11-Dec-17 20:27:10

YANBU. If he wants pictures he needs to buy his own.

Fatso1978 Mon 11-Dec-17 20:27:10

Yeah, nah. If he wants photos give him the company used and he can order them himself.

Illstartexercisingtomorrow Mon 11-Dec-17 20:27:59

Unless the £400 is giving you a massive surplus every month then IMO extras should be paid for by each parent. School photos are an extra, like a school trip payment would be an extra cost too.

tiggerbounce77 Mon 11-Dec-17 20:28:18

Erm no, he wants photos he pays for photos. Maintenance is to help towards the general living costs

ShowMePotatoSalad Mon 11-Dec-17 20:28:28

YANBU. His maintenance payment is for him to contribute to their living costs.

Not for him to cover the cost of photos.


Iloveacurry Mon 11-Dec-17 20:29:10

Something he should be buying himself surely?

RunRabbitRunRabbit Mon 11-Dec-17 20:33:05

Why the hell are you still doing his wifework after you are divorced? Why can't he fill in a form or use a computer to order photos? Catch yourself on next time. What other life admin do you still do for his lordship?

pallisers Mon 11-Dec-17 20:36:45

I contacted my Ex about ordering school photos

This was your first mistake. He should be getting the communications from the school himself. He is an ex. This is now all his own responsibility.

I'd just laugh at the idea that maintenance for a child should be used to pay for something for the parent giving the maintenance.

RestingGrinchFace Mon 11-Dec-17 20:38:14

Child maibtence is for paying for things that are for the children. The photos aren't for the children, they are for him.

AngelOfMusic Mon 11-Dec-17 20:42:21

He has never been interested in how the DC are doing at school, doesn't ask about how they're getting on at all. They're both Autistic and he's been to 1 appointment for 1 DC.

The only communication we have is when he picks them up and drops them off where he tells me things like 'Bob' didn't eat his vegetables so he's been naughty or 'they've been miserable today.

I've always contacted him about school photos and how the appointments go, perhaps I should stop.

Thank you for agreeing with me, I tend to doubt myself a lot and this has helped.

Cancerisacunt Mon 11-Dec-17 20:43:55

Get him to order his own.

Viviennemary Mon 11-Dec-17 20:52:56

No you shouldn't pay for the photos. If he wants the photos he must pay for them himself.

Regularsizedrudy Mon 11-Dec-17 20:55:05

Stop doing shit for him Jesus Christ

Singleandproud Mon 11-Dec-17 20:58:07

I buy the set of 4 desk photos (approx £10) when DD gets her school photos done. I buy 2 cheap frames from Wilko and DD gives one of the framed photos to her Dad for Christmas and one to his parents. Its a cheap gift, DDs happy shes given them a present and I dont have to go looking for them in the shops.

FitBitFanClub Mon 11-Dec-17 21:00:18

He's having a laugh, isn't he? What a nerve!

BewareOfDragons Mon 11-Dec-17 21:03:47

Send him the link and codes to the photo website and let him order his own set if he wants them.

Of course he should be buying his own photos/gifts for himself and his extended family.

Not only that, they're expensive!

MagicFajita Mon 11-Dec-17 21:06:00

What beware said.

This is what I have just done.

Italiangreyhound Mon 11-Dec-17 21:07:33

Let him order and pay for his own photos.

FitBitFanClub Mon 11-Dec-17 21:14:43

Sounds like she's already paid and he's objecting to re-imbursing her.

Cancerisacunt Mon 11-Dec-17 21:17:11


I’m not clear. Did you tell him the options of packages before you bought one for him? As in, option 1 is x option 2 y amount?

He still should be ordering his own though

wtffgs Mon 11-Dec-17 21:29:32

Hah! That's a good one! What a joker hmm

Maintenance, as others have said, is for food, heat, clothing, shelter etc

Has he always been such a nob trying? wink

Lelloteddy Mon 11-Dec-17 21:31:58

You’re his Ex wife, not his PA.

marywasneeavirgin Mon 11-Dec-17 21:37:24

I used to do this with my ex and I stopped getting him copies of reports etc and he never bothered to get any of his own. Just stop. If he's bothered he will attend appointments and show an interest but I think from your post that's highly doubtful. I'd wrap them up off the kids for Xmas if there's no way he will pay for them!

SnowWhitesRestingBitchFace Mon 11-Dec-17 21:40:27

Had this exact same argument with my ex!

He thought his pathetic amount of maintenance should cover things like this (about £30 a week) and even told me his solicitor had told him that! She might well have done because she's a twat but I told him to jog on and stop being so ridiculous.

He couldn't even be bothered to pay the £7 it was going to cost him so he missed out.

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