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To think that this is a bit shit?

(90 Posts)
HildaZelda Mon 11-Dec-17 19:32:22

DHL mentioned to me earlier that MIL is getting me a dressing gown for Christmas. Fine, except she got me a dressing gown last Xmas. I'd seen a book I'd like for around the same price so asked if he thought she might get me that instead.
Apparently not. Basically she has supermarket vouchers for a particular shop and so my dressing gown can only come from that shop.
AIBU to feel like I'm not worth a 'proper' present, just a convenient one that doesn't actually require spending money?
I'd actually prefer if she didn't get me anything instead of something like this to be honest.

Angelicinnocent Mon 11-Dec-17 19:38:48

Depends, if she is generally a nice person and you get on, maybe this is the only way she can afford to buy.

My DM tends to save supermarket vouchers all year to buy presents for me, DB and our OH because she can't afford much. That gives her a bit more to spend on the DGC.

SmiledWithTheRisingSun Mon 11-Dec-17 19:40:59

My childless younger BIL brought me a bar of soap one year. We always get him something really nice that he asks for too. Tight bastard.

JesusInTheCabbageVan Mon 11-Dec-17 19:45:53

Mine got me a children's toy ladybird moneybox the first Christmas. confused I was so taken aback that I raved on for ages about what a perfect gift it was. Should probably consider myself lucky I didn't get another one next year.

Tinselistacky Mon 11-Dec-17 19:50:22

Regift it to dh and see how he feels about a thoughtless present!!
I have a lovely bright pink dressing gown and one year now exh bought me a new almost identical one. I gave it to dd, lack of thought prob contributed to reason he is an exh.

IceBearRocks Mon 11-Dec-17 19:51:28

Seriously...... Stop moaning.. appreciate what you've been given your own book!

nocutsnobuttsnococonuts Mon 11-Dec-17 19:51:39

Could you ask for a different item of clothing? Maybe some pj's or slippers?

HildaZelda Mon 11-Dec-17 19:56:29

I told DH that if it can only be something that comes from that particular supermarket then I'd prefer a bottle of wine!
MIL is quite well off so it's not actually a cost issue.

Flippertyjibbetty Mon 11-Dec-17 19:57:21

That's a shame! Don't let it make you feel like you're not worth it because it says more about her funny ideas than what she thinks of you!

I've said no presents this year because one of the people coming round for xmas (mil's friend) gets really shit presents (imagine the cheapest tackiest thing that is pink or girly you could imagine from Poundland or primark and that's what he gave me when he last came over, nothing for my husband or my mil who is the person who invited him and his friend). I don't want to get him a present on top of having him over for xmas and putting him up and having to pretend to be grateful for whatever plastic tat he's got me.

That sounds v ungrateful- to clarify, he is not poor he is tight. He's also not very nice and always causes problems. I would be grateful for the thought if it wasn't so obvious that no thought went into it. There are also other people attending who don't celebrate xmas (but are joining for a meal) and i don't want the awkwardness of some people having presents and others none. No kids so I've just said no presents, we'll just enjoy the food and time together.

Not really helpful to the OP except to say I'm commiserating- the politics of presents can be insane!
(Husband and I are gonna get something nice for the house instead of present directly to each other).

HeadsDownThumbsUpEveryone Mon 11-Dec-17 19:57:40

Seriously...... Stop moaning.. appreciate what you've been given

Seriously?? I agree with the OP what's the point in the gift she doesn't need one (as she got a dressing gown last year) I would rather no gift than a gift that was so ill thought out that it was brought just because they had vouchers and they felt obliged to get the OP something. hmm

Flippertyjibbetty Mon 11-Dec-17 19:59:03

Sometimes people get really funny about 'well I've already decided I'm getting you X'. Even if it would be a better gift to give you something else at the same cost/ effort! Bizarre.

Doesn't sound like you can do much except regift?! I'd rather have no gift than a terrible one personally.

Jaygee61 Mon 11-Dec-17 20:00:23

My childless younger BIL brought me a bar of soap one year. We always get him something really nice that he asks for too. Tight bastard.

What’s his being childless got to do with anything? He’d probably be a tight bastard if he had kids too.

SaucyJack Mon 11-Dec-17 20:00:52

Can you exchange it after Christmas?

There's only so many dressing gowns a person can wear- unless they're doing some sort of wacky challenge down the scout hut.

loobybear Mon 11-Dec-17 20:01:26

I get where your coming from. My MIL got me the same slippers (like the SAME) two years in a row and then the year after that both MIL and SIL both got me the same scarf and gloves set which is turns out were 2 for 1. I really dont care about the gifts or the cost but it would be nice to feel like even a little bit of thought went into it.
I'm wondering if your MIL maybe struggles financially hence wanting to use the supermarket vouchers however even then surely she could get you something from there that is different to what she got you last year.

Taylor22 Mon 11-Dec-17 20:03:49

Do what I do.
Open it. Hush with thanks and gratitude but if it's wrapped in a ribbon or 'pinned' etc then don't open that.
Discreetly hide it away.
Then re gift it or give it to charity.

Tinselistacky Mon 11-Dec-17 20:04:58

Wondering what your dh is getting......

HildaZelda Mon 11-Dec-17 20:08:40

@Tinselistacky, wondering about that myself.
He's the one that will have to take her shopping, but that's a whole other thread!

roomsonfire Mon 11-Dec-17 20:08:58

OP, if its the same as your last one you and DH have matching robes. you could get them monogrammed grin

Annelind Mon 11-Dec-17 20:10:55

This is why I opted out of gift giving/receiving at Christmas. So much drama and disappointment avoided grin

squeezedatbothends Mon 11-Dec-17 20:12:54

My MiL got me the same present two years running. It was one of the first signs of her dementia. I'd accept it with grace, keep an eye on her. You can always return it to the shop and buy something you prefer if you want to.

supersop60 Mon 11-Dec-17 20:23:27

squeeze - the same happened with my DM. She bought my sister and me the same present two years running. Looking back, it was a sign of her dementia.
Of course, OP, your MIL might be thinking Hilda likes dressing gowns - I'll get her another one.

FrancisCrawford Mon 11-Dec-17 20:26:41

If he is taking her shopping, then surely he will say, “Not an Asda dressing gown. That’s what you got Hilda last year and it’s hardly been worn.”

If she persists, then “No Mum, you would just be wasting your money. What Hilda would like is a bottle of wine”

If she doesn’t want to buy the wine for whatever reason: “But Mum, I’ve told you Hilda doesn’t want a dressing gown. Why won’t you buy her something that she wants instead of something that won’t be used. Hilda is hardly going to put the second dressing gown away until the one you gave her last year is worn out”

Or more radically, “No Mum, not a dressing gown from Asda. That’s what you bought Hilda last year and I’m afraid it was very poor quality. In fact, when Hilda’s mum saw the state it was in she insisted on treating her to a lovely new one from M&S”

neveradullmoment99 Mon 11-Dec-17 20:30:12

Tell him to tell her to give you the vouchers so you can choose something. No point in you having another dressing gown. At the same time, i wouldnt want to offend her. If you get on, tell dh to say that she got you one last year. Problem solved.

Notevilstepmother Mon 11-Dec-17 20:31:31

Take it back to the supermarket and get wine

It’s probably not about your worth and more about her odd ideas. Don’t take it personally.

Notevilstepmother Mon 11-Dec-17 20:32:46

I’d also be grateful that your DH is taking her shopping not you grin

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