DD was with him for contact at the weekend and he has got her all excited about this overnight event in January in a city that's 2 hours from where we all live. He's in that city for something different on the Friday, so instead of coming back here on Saturday morning for the usual handover, he's told her that I can take her by train to that other city on Friday night so he'll then take her to the event.
This, he informs me by email, will be at my own expense as he can't afford to pay the train fare (over £80). It comes from a man who, under duress, is paying me £30 per month child maintenance when the CMS calculation is that he should be paying £350 per month (I'm following up separately with them. He works short contracts so by the time they catch up with his earnings, he's finished his contract and back on benefits, so it ends up being a backlog of payments that I never get).
What's really getting to me is that DD(10) is feeling torn between us - she really wants to go and I'm the bad guy for being too mean to pay, and she totally believes his line that it's unfair for him to pay child maintenance because he'd have her more often but I'm cruelly refusing. (Contact was reduced by court on the basis of concerns about him acting in an emotionally abusive way to her).
I'm unreasonable to be indignant about this because it's who he is and he won't change now. I need to rant here so I can appear unperturbed in my communications to him.
Oh, the event is free, by the way. It's not like he's forking out a huge amount for DD's benefit and the train fare would be a fair contribution from me.
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59 replies
bibliomania · 11/12/2017 10:45
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