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To ask how a relationship can survive...

(25 Posts)
Glowinginthedark Mon 11-Dec-17 02:26:29

A partner who snores like a walrus and wakes you up every damn night angry

TheHodgeHeg Mon 11-Dec-17 02:28:47

Do ear plugs block out the noise? Whether it's insurmountable or not depends on whether he has redeeming features! If my partner suddenly started snoring I'd probably try and find a workable solution for us because I love him. If he'd always been a snorer I'd probably not have been so attracted to him in the first place..

Glowinginthedark Mon 11-Dec-17 02:32:46

I love him to bits he's amazing but the snoring drives me insane! I guess I worry I won't hear the children in the night or sleep through my alarm if I have earplugs in.

Spartak Mon 11-Dec-17 02:36:48

Earplugs and a Fitbit watch with vibrating alarm is the only way I haven't lost my sanity with paperthin walls and screaming babies in both houses either side of me.

frenchmonkeys Mon 11-Dec-17 02:38:10

Guessing you're awake now because your partner is snoring...

Mine does too, and it's why I'm awake. If she's healthy, the snoring is much lighter and I have become accustomed to it and it no longer disturbs me. At the moment she's congested, and there's no ignoring it. There are various devices that help some, and there may be medical reasons for.snoring which should be investigated. Personally I used ro snore loud enough for the windows to shake (I saw embarrassing video evidence... ), but it reduced and then stopped completely when I lost weight (I mean a lot of weight).

If none of the above apply, try ear muffs, or move to the spare room when it's worst?

If you love him, I'm sure there are things you can do to insulate yourself.from it. If he loves you, I'm sure he will be willing to do whatever he can to reduce his snoring. Losing sleep constantly will affect your energy, health, and temperament, and certainly your relationship, so be positive about exploring the options to resolve it.

Glowinginthedark Mon 11-Dec-17 02:38:49

That could be a solution @Spartak although it's so loud I'm wondering if I will still hear it through ear plugs!

Glowinginthedark Mon 11-Dec-17 02:40:28

Thanks @french we will definitely be exploring the options!

zzzzz Mon 11-Dec-17 03:12:18

Losing weight is the only thing that really helps in most cases.

hullahoops Mon 11-Dec-17 03:13:53

I am awake for that reason also. When we first met he didn't snore at all.... He's not put on 1.5stone and he snores like a walrus. He's just moved to the sofa because he doesn't want to keep me awake. Now I feel awful that he's down there (I'm 6 months pregnant)

I understand how you feel though, it is so draining

hullahoops Mon 11-Dec-17 03:14:14

Now*

Parsleyisntfood Mon 11-Dec-17 03:15:39

I fear for my ds. He’s very slight, definitely no weight issues and he has snored since the week he was born. He’s 7 now and I can hear him downstairs. Hoping he’s handsome with a winning personality because I dunno who else is going to put up with that!

Bowerbird5 Mon 11-Dec-17 03:41:06

Can you sleep in separate rooms? We do now and it is bliss.i know several friends who do as well. He might have sleep apnoea.

bayseyan Mon 11-Dec-17 05:32:21

Separate bedrooms.

I recently broke up with someone for refusing this. If you love someone it shouldn't be a problem that they want to sleep separately, if your snoring is keeping them awake.

I'd end any relationship that this was a problem in.

justilou1 Mon 11-Dec-17 05:59:47

I wonder this myself EVERY GODDAMN NIGHT!!! (And like you adore the hell out of my husband.). Meanwhile, if he doesn't get his giant, flappy tonsils removed soon, I shall be doing it for him.

Gaudeamus Mon 11-Dec-17 06:05:29

Might be worth him sleeping on the sofa or an airbed for a few nights to see if that makes a difference - a friend recently discovered an allergy to his bedding was causing sleep apnoeia.

AnUtterIdiot Mon 11-Dec-17 08:49:56

Earplugs. My slim and very fit partner has snored like a plane taking off since before we met. I (properly fat, as in obese) don't. I order building site-grade earplugs in bulk from Amazon and change them nightly to avoid ear infections. They reduce the noise to a dull roar and I can still hear my alarm.

AnUtterIdiot Mon 11-Dec-17 08:52:18

Oh, we do have a week old baby so I am not wearing them at the moment but since we're only getting 2 hours sleep at a time I am not currently struggling to sleep through it. So... earplugs and a new baby?

WhyamIBoredathome Mon 11-Dec-17 09:17:41

My partner snores but it has reduced considerably since he stopped smoking, reduced drinking, and lost some weight.
My mother in law snores like a dragon, she wakes me from the floor below. FIL thinks he has insomnia, I personally think he is being woken by her relentless snoring. He deals with it by getting up and playing online poker.

jaseyraex Mon 11-Dec-17 09:36:44

Losing weight is the only thing that really helps in most cases.

Tell that to my underweight husband!

OP, has your partner considered a trip to the GP? My DH gets some sort of nasal spray on prescription for snoring and it's helped massively. Not completely stopped but is a lot quieter and a lot less frequent. He's also on waiting list for sleep clinic in case of sleep apnea. May be worth a try for your partner.

Eltonjohnssyrup Mon 11-Dec-17 10:18:11

Have you tried those nose strips? Worked on my DH and he was terrible.

user1andonly Mon 11-Dec-17 10:25:53

Separate rooms.

If you have three bedrooms, put the children in together in the biggest room, perhaps? Or get a really good sofa bed and take turns who goes on that and who has the bed room?

I sleep separately from DH and it's great! We waited till a dc had moved out as, in our case, it was more minor stuff - opposite body clocks, he likes a warm room, I like it cold with the window open etc etc. If one of us had snored then we would have had to come up with a solution earlier.

Monoblock67 Mon 11-Dec-17 10:50:32

100% try a dental mouth guard. They’re about a fiver on eBay, and you mould it at home yourself. It worked amazing well on my DH, who isn’t overweight, a drinker or a smoker but snores like a freight train. It saved my sanity, my sleep and quite possibly my marriage! It’s worth a shot-if it doesn’t work all you’ve lost is a fiver but if it works then you’ve got your life back.

Monoblock67 Mon 11-Dec-17 10:54:17

Also to add-we bought one under advisement from an ENT consultant who reviewed DH. It doesn’t completely stop the snoring all the time but quietens it down to a completely tolerable level when he does snore, which is rare.

MumOfTwoooo Mon 11-Dec-17 16:57:51

I would definitely try a mouth guard or nose strips first, he probably feels quite bad that your sleeping poorly because of him! Not that he can help it though! I would hate having to sleep away from my DH because of something like this

Nanna50 Mon 11-Dec-17 19:14:10

Has he had investigations been to his GP or sleep clinic? Not everyone with sleep apnoea is overweight sometimes it's the shape of their throat, nose, palate etc. There are many sleep disorders and various treatments which can be tried.

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