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Neighbour with dementia exposing himself

(15 Posts)
writergirl747474 Mon 11-Dec-17 00:49:40

Hey all, am looking for advice.
Our elderly (about 90) neighbour clearly has dementia. He wanders the streets aimlessly, mumbles to himself, makes no sense, is in his own world, rarely changes his clothes. He appears to live with his son who potentially abuses him in some way - lots of shouting, banging etc. The son is unfriendly and unapproachable despite me and DP being cheery say-hello-to-the-neighbours sorts.
Anyway, so I have just seen the old guy walk out the front door of the block, unzip his flies and walk off down the street with his penis hanging out.
What should I do? Police? Mental health services (I am a pom in Oz so I have no idea of MH provision here)? Leave a note for Mr Unapproachable?

Insomnibrat Mon 11-Dec-17 01:04:52

I have little idea of what to do in Aus but this is a very sad situation.

There must be an Aus version of Social Services or failing that, a non emergency police number for advice?

Try to act with kindness (I'm sure you will). I fear my Dad may develop Dementia and I will be his sole carer, it must be so hard.

LoneParenting101 Mon 11-Dec-17 01:06:32

Definitely Police as they can speak to his next of kin/carer and refer to appropriate services

blueskypink Mon 11-Dec-17 01:06:35

Whoever you contact you will tell them about the suspected abuse won't you? Not just that he's exposing himself?

writergirl747474 Mon 11-Dec-17 01:19:02

Thanks for the advice. There is a police station down the road, I will pop down there. DP reckons we should tell the son - I don't fancy it but will encourage him to do it. There's also a school first in our road and it's not a nice thing for kids to see.
Re. The abuse. It's tricky. We haven't seen abuse but just hear a lot of shouting/banging about. It never lasts long enough to consider calling the police.

Charolais Mon 11-Dec-17 01:35:24

Poor man. Please help him anyway you can.

harrypotternerd Mon 11-Dec-17 01:42:00

I am also in Australia and I volunteer with a family violence service which includes elder abuse. Go have a chat to police at your local station, tell them what you have heard. There are police who are trained in elder abuse and it should be referred to them, you can also call 1800respect and talk to them about what you can do.

AcrossthePond55 Mon 11-Dec-17 01:59:36

I wouldn't confront the son. If he is abusing his dad that may very well make it worse.

Contact the appropriate authorities and let them handle it. Tell them where the school is situated and I'm sure they'll take appropriate notification actions.

TheClaws Mon 11-Dec-17 02:03:42

In Australia, there is a service called ACAT (Aged Care Assessment Team). Generally, once a person is identified with dementia, or they reach a certain age, or have hospital admissions that could then reduce their ability to care for themselves at home, ACAT review the situation (including caters). They will sometimes recommend placement in a nursing home, or simply modifications to the existing home. They conduct the review again at regular intervals.

I’d say that ACAT are aware of this gentleman, but I would he shouldn’t be wandering - he needs review and his carer is possibly struggling. I think the best course of action would be to talk to the police.

writergirl747474 Mon 11-Dec-17 02:07:28

Thanks all. I have spoken to the police. They said to call if it happened again and they would immediately send someone who could pick him up and arrange for a MH assessment.

And yes I think his career is struggling. Not an easy situation.

MrsCrabbyTree Mon 11-Dec-17 02:12:25

It may be worth a call to the Salvation Army as they have many services that help the community.

Fffion Mon 11-Dec-17 05:20:54

You have suspicions that he is a vulnerable adult. This means you should contact your county council. They should have a form on their safeguarding pages.

It’s not your job to investigate, or involve other parties. Do not approach a potential abuser. Leave it to the professionals.

Fffion Mon 11-Dec-17 05:21:23

Sorry just spotted you weren’t in the U.K.

Splinterz Mon 11-Dec-17 07:00:49

You call your equivalent of social services, this is a vulnerable adult.

(Gonna come across as sarcastic but why would you think on a UK board we would have any insight into the working of the Australian care system? Is there an equivalent om MN-OZ ?)

LoniceraJaponica Mon 11-Dec-17 07:27:41

Sounds like frontal lobe dementia which makes the sufferer lose their inhibitions. My friend's FIL had this and was sectioned because his behaviour in public was a little too uninhibited. As the police had become involved he received an instant referral to social services.

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