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AIBU?

To ask if anyone has experience of antenatal depression?

49 replies

sureitsgrand · 10/12/2017 22:24

Thought there might be more trafffic here, please be nice, I'm a bit desperate.

I'm 33 weeks pregnant. Been fighting it and covering up and blaming bad days on something else for weeks now. I can't cope with anything, I'm off work, I'm finding it impossible to look after my toddler and I think my relationship is falling apart.

I'm going to the GP tomorrow. Can I take anything for this? Will it take a month to work? I can't go on for much longer.

OP posts:

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kw1091 · 10/12/2017 22:28

Please please please also speak to your midwife. There are fantastic perinatal mental health midwives that can offer brilliant support during and after your pregnancy.

sureitsgrand · 10/12/2017 22:30

I'm in Ireland and it's combined care. I see my GP or consultant. GP is ok. Consultant isn't great so far I wouldn't feel comfortable talking to her. I don't have any contact with a midwife as such.

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mummy2oneandtwo · 10/12/2017 22:31

I don't know where you are based but I'm in the midlands and reached out to the charity 'Acacia' who help women with pre natal depression.

I was in a very bad place with no help from my gp/midwife team, so I found them via google and they were fantastic.

Even if you're not from the area, maybe they can recommend a similar charity closer to you?

Good luck xx

kw1091 · 10/12/2017 22:33

I’m really sorry to hear that. I’m a student midwife in England and I’m astounded by the amount of women suffering antenatal depression. You aren’t on your own, please speak to as many people as possible there is help out there x

FuzzyOwl · 10/12/2017 22:35

My GP referred me to the Perinatal MH Team so I would hope you have something similar where you are that is available to you. My hospital also has a MH midwifery team who provide further support.

To answer your question, yes there are medications (antidepressants) that are routinely used in pregnancy for prenatal depression and can make a massive difference. Again, they can take a while to work but the sooner you start the sooner they will do so. Depending upon where you are, there might be other things like CBT or counselling that can be offered to you.

I really hope you have a supportive appointment with your GP tomorrow and well done for seeking out help.

Launderetta · 10/12/2017 22:35

Please talk to whoever you can see soonest.
I had this frim c28 weeks. Was suicidal; had it all planned out, post birth. Literally had a breakdown in queue for obstetrician; saw emergency psychiatrist & received the treatment I so urgently needed.
Please accept that you're ill & need medical intervention.
You'll get through this, and you will be happy again

justforthisnow · 10/12/2017 22:45

OP sorry you are going through this. It's real and it's awful.
Sadly, perinatal mental midwifery is not really widely available in Ireland. There are a total of I think 3 perinatal psychiatrists, mostly based in Dublin I think.
Talk to your GP. Tell them the truth and you will be referred to psychiatric services depending on what's available in your area. Best of luck and please ask for help.

sureitsgrand · 10/12/2017 22:57

Thanks. I will speak to GP. I just feel totally overwhelmed, useless, tired, ungrateful. My partner doesn't really get it. I've spoke to my mum, she has been lovely. Mostly just feel guilty for my son. I'm so slow and he is so lively I can't manage him at all at the moment.

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AvenuesAndAlleyways · 10/12/2017 23:01

I had antenatal depression with my first and third pregnancies - I had talk therapy with the first, antidepressants weren't offered and I went on to have terrible PND (that's not to say talk therapy won't work for you or that PND is inevitable). Third pregnancy I was put on the lowest effective dose of ADs and I felt terribly guilty about harming baby but GP made me realise the benefits of a healthy mother outweighed the small risk of harm to foetus. I had my last antidepressant the day before she was born and have been fine since.

I hope you manage to get the help you need.

Missuseff · 10/12/2017 23:09

Please ask someone for help in any form, you are not being unreasonable or silly. And please remember that your son won’t be scarred or grow up hating you if he has a few weeks of extra tv/soft play time (whatever helps you manage).

You’re not alone! And you’re braver than I was, to speak up for yourself!

SleepyHeadThisTime · 10/12/2017 23:17

Yes I had it - largely caused I think by a terrible birth and aftercare with my first. After I cried through a fifth appointment with my midwife she referred me to the gp who put me on sertraline - it made a world of difference. There were a couple of weeks of side effects (mostly tiredness) and the baby went through a day of withdrawal (high pitched shrieking) which was horrible, but short term. Please see someone and tell them how you're feeling

sureitsgrand · 10/12/2017 23:19

I don't feel brave I just need to try get it sorted before the baby comes I feel. If you saw my life you would think it is perfect, I feel so so bad to be feeling like this I would just love to be happy.

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nousername123 · 10/12/2017 23:19

Ask your GO for counselling. Talking to someone about it and have them explain it to you makes you feel relief almost instantly. You can take medication but that's last resort really. If it's as bad as it sounds, counselling and medication will help. Good luck x

ghostyslovesheets · 10/12/2017 23:21

yes I had it badly with dd3(planned and much wanted) - was almost sectioned - please talk to your GP and also your midwife - my midwife was amazing - big hug OP because it's fucking hard x

sureitsgrand · 10/12/2017 23:25

This baby was so planned and wanted. But I really don't know how I can keep going. The gp knew I was struggling last time. She did give me a number to call a counselling service. I will call them tomorrow too. I don't like the thoughts of baby withdrawing off meds tbh.

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sixbeesandalemur · 10/12/2017 23:29

I had it. It's more common than people realise. I found it almost impossible to leave the house it was so debilitating and day to day tasks became monumentally hard. I became too anxious to eat, and lost weight during the pregnancy. I felt like I was just hanging on by a thread. The hospital helped and so did the midwife. I didn't take antidepressants but talking therapy helped. It passed as soon as my twins were born and I went on to enjoy being a mother. Please reach out for help, take all support you can get.

Kohi36 · 10/12/2017 23:32

Speak to your obstetrician and get them to refer u to the physchistrist in your maternity hospital. I’m also pregnant and based in Ireland. My sister had antenatal depression. It was so hard on her she chose to adopt second child rather than risk getting it again on a subsequent pregnancy. Hope u get some help. Best of luck

sureitsgrand · 10/12/2017 23:41

Thanks everyone. It is debilitating. I don't leave tje house after dark unless it's something I can't get out of. I avoid going where people might talk to me. I'm sick of it. I just can't see an end. I keep thinking 'if I just do x I will feel better' say for example, clean the house or sort something out. Then I do it and still nothing.

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sureitsgrand · 11/12/2017 08:10

Morning. Bumping this in hopes of a hand hold. I've not slept much. I've screamed at my two year old twice already. I just don't know how I will get ready and get to the doctor today.

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JoJoBow · 11/12/2017 08:15

I had antenatal depression, and ending up seeing a psychiatrist (GP wouldn't prescribe ADs) and starting Prozac in the third trimester. It really, really helped, took about a fortnight to start kicking in. Breastfeeding would minimise any withdrawal issues.

sureitsgrand · 11/12/2017 08:20

I hope to breastfeed I breastfed ds till he was 1. I don't ever remember feeling like this with him. I just don't know how to get through two weeks waiting for tablets to kick in. I honestly hate who I've become. I nag my husband over every little detail till we are barely speaking. I am keeping away from all my friends. I can't even manage Christmas shopping so far.

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BenNevis2017 · 11/12/2017 08:23

Ring the GP first and get the appointment sorted for today.
Will your Mum come over & help with your DS while you get dressed?
I’ve had both antenatal & post natal & general depresssion /anxiety.
I was prescribed Sertraline from about your stage, can’t remember the dose but it was increased a few times. It helped see me through but felt loads better after the birth when I switched back to the Paroxetine was taking pre TTC.
My newborn didn’t have shrieking, he was a bit ‘jittery’ for 24 hrs.
Good luck OP. One step at a time. Xx

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AuntLucy · 11/12/2017 08:29

I did - was too afraid to seek help and looking back I definitely should have, because I'd like a third baby now and we haven't tried for one because I'm so worried it might happen again, and my memories of that pregnancy are a black cloud. Hope your GP can help x

DollyLlama · 11/12/2017 08:34

I ended up feeling suicidal while pregnant with my DS. I spoke with my GP who was amazing and referred me to the perinatal mental health service. They have been amazing, but they need to know the extent of how you feel or they will send you back to the GP as they are overstretched.

With their help, I managed to get myself to a really good place and have not even suffered from baby blues, let alone PND. I see a psychotherapist weekly (my DS is 5 weeks old) and will continue to do so until he is a year old.

If you decide you would like to try AD, some are perfectly safe to take while pregnant. Also, the GP will weigh up the risks of you being on them vs not.

Be kind to yourself, and don’t worry about being honest. This is far more common than you think.

sureitsgrand · 11/12/2017 08:38

I won't ever be having any more children after this. I feel like a completely different person. There isn't the same type of support in Ireland but I will try my best today to get some help. My mum will come and help but not till 10 and every hour with ds is so long he's consantly screaming at me and he never sits still.

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