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To really, really, really dislike having to buy presents for people.

(366 Posts)
MaidenMotherCrone Sat 09-Dec-17 15:20:57

Not just at Christmas but birthdays, anniversaries etc. I do buy them but get I'd rather not have to bother. I dislike receiving presents too. I've done the 'let's not do presents this year' to be met with 'oh we have to do presents, just a little thing yes?'


I fully accept I probably ABU and a massive misery but it's the whole expectation thing.

rcit Sat 09-Dec-17 15:22:20

Christmas is getting ruined by this sort of shit

ThisLittleKitty Sat 09-Dec-17 15:22:27

No I don't like it either.

Scrowy Sat 09-Dec-17 15:24:50

100% yes.

I find it extremely stressful both giving and receiving. I’m awful at buying presents and am aware I’ve made a few clangers over the years.

I’m no good at pretending I like stuff either, the harder I try the more fake it sounds.

WingingItDaily339 Sat 09-Dec-17 15:24:57

Same here! Me and my brother now just buy ourselves presents from each other on birthdays etc as neither of us can be arsed going out and thinking what the other may like/want. So much easier!

SweetheartTreacleTart Sat 09-Dec-17 15:27:06

I actually like buying gifts for friends and family and seeing their faces light up. However, I never feel obliged to buy a gift, I buy it if I want to and don't feel that they need to give me anything in return (although it would be nice). I agree that there is so much pressure on the amount and the type of gift you buy these days, and if you allow it to it can be stressful.

DeStijl Sat 09-Dec-17 15:27:55

I hate it too. I know it makes me an ungrateful cow but I just can't be doing with it. There's not a lot I actually want. I don't wear jewellery, I like to choose my own smellies, I'm quite picky with books, I like cheap crappy chocolate so the naice stuff is wasted on me. I dread opening some more "stuff" that I will have to find a place for in my house and I hate picking out things for others and worrying they'll hate it.

ginplease8383 Sat 09-Dec-17 15:29:36

Just get everyone a chocolate orange if thats how you feel!

Eolian Sat 09-Dec-17 15:32:54

I can understand not liking it from an environmental, financial or anti-commercial point of view, but otherwise no. Why is it so awful? How can it be that hard to buy people something they'd like? Why does there have to be such a huge weight of expectation? I can only remember 1 or 2 presents in my whole 46 years of life that I've actively disliked, and I'm not aware of ever having bought someone something they disliked either. Ask for suggestions or a wish list if you have trouble choosing.

I'm not keen on over-spending at Christmas and do not buy tons and tons of presents or spend very much on my dc (by MN standards at least), but giving and receiving presents is a nice thing to do.

Oysterbabe Sat 09-Dec-17 15:33:12

I hate it to. Only because I really want to get nice things that people will love but I'm hopeless at thinking of ideas and end up buying tat. I find it really stressful. I haven't bought a single thing yet.

user1488794856 Sat 09-Dec-17 15:34:55

Another present hater here...would rather not bother and would be quite happy not to recieve presents.

SaucyJack Sat 09-Dec-17 15:35:42


I'd rather have nothing at all than fucking shower gel that's no nicer than the stuff I get for a quid in Asda.

There. I've said it. Fucking shoot me.

minipie Sat 09-Dec-17 15:36:30


My family has had a "no adult presents" agreement for years. DH is going to suggest it to his family next year.

Birthday presents between me and DH are that we go out for a nice dinner.

I can spend hours agonising over presents and will still often get it wrong (and other people usually get it wrong for me as well).

MaidenMotherCrone Sat 09-Dec-17 15:37:10

If only a chocolate orange would do!

I buy nice thoughtful gifts, never just get something because it'll do for so and so. I don't enjoy it and would rather, when I say that there isn't anything I want or need, people just listened.

Everyone I know has everything they need and enough money to buy what they want (and yes, they are very lucky in that respect).

It's just buying stuff for the sake of buying and because it's expected.

TittyGolightly Sat 09-Dec-17 15:37:59

I don’t. It’s fucking marvellous.

We buy a few bits for DD and 1 gift for my family’s secret santa. The rest get nothing, and we don’t get shit we don’t want.

Stopped the madness 10 years ago and not looked back since.

lidoshuffle Sat 09-Dec-17 15:39:47

It's the pressure that it's compulsory and expected, rather than spontaneous, that I hate. It's just a big brain-washing by retailers, and after the consumer-fest so much goes of it ends up in landfill/ebay.

MaidenMotherCrone Sat 09-Dec-17 15:39:48

It's not just me then.... Hurrah!

Sanshin Sat 09-Dec-17 15:41:00

Totally agree OP. Every year the same old stress of having to think of what to get people. It's so fucking pointless and such an unnecessary stress. Last year I just couldn't think what to get my mum so I put £50 in her card. Guess what I got in return? £50 in my card. Honestly what is the point?

banannabreadforme Sat 09-Dec-17 15:41:27

I don't like spending money I don't have buying things for people who, like myself, don't need anything. I don't mind for children but adults I'd rather not.

Laiste Sat 09-Dec-17 15:44:06

<sits with SaucyJack>

Year after year after year DM asks what we want and we say oh nothing, really xmas is for the kids we don't need to unwrap something. And year after year after year we get a weird parcel of Baylis and fecking Harding and/or some nail varnish remover and a packet of cotton buds.

I mean what face can you pull to that?

Now i've said it too grin

Ecureuil Sat 09-Dec-17 15:46:41

I like buying things I think they’ll like for people I love. Luckily my family are good present buyers and always get me things they know i would like and appreciate. We have money to buy what we want for ourselves but that doesn’t mean I always do, so it’s nice to get frivolous things that I wouldn’t necessarily buy for myself.

Laiste Sat 09-Dec-17 15:47:18

Two years ago one of DHs 4 siblings announced that on his side of the family no one over 18 should expect to receive gifts anymore and we all wholeheartedly agreed and it's bloody marvelous!

There's loads of kids to buy for and no one minds that at all.

rachelracket Sat 09-Dec-17 15:47:36

totally agree. my family and I's present to each other is not having to give each other presents. hate all the grotesque, greedy consumerism at this time of year. tried to buy gift wrap the other day, just felt disgusted by myself. kind of want my DC to enjoy the magic but really... what magic?? tats not magic.

Ecureuil Sat 09-Dec-17 15:48:29

I don’t buy tat for anyone and they don’t buy tat for me.

MiraiDevant Sat 09-Dec-17 15:48:39

I hate it. It spoils Christmas totally. The money I have wasted on stuff just to save face. The tat, ( and lovely things), filling up my cupboards that I really don't want but that has been given to me.

I am so stressed. I don't know what to get anyone and know that if they really wanted it they would have bought it themselves.

I hate the smugness of people who do buy presents and think that they have been so thoughtful and obviously picked something that someone loves - whereas often in secret that person has just learnt how to do the "How lovely!! Just what I always wanted!" act.

My freied has just told me that she's got "just a few things" for me and my family. MY heart sank. How can I sit and unwrap a present and not reciprocate? I can't. But I don't want chocolates or candles or perfume. I also don't want to have to spend £50 on same sort of stuff for her. Why??

Who really loves it???

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