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I did it! I won against a manspreader!

(63 Posts)
Urubu Thu 07-Dec-17 18:40:52

I'll paint the scene: I am quite petite, sitting in a crowded tube, a man seats next to me, arm on the armrest straightaway (fine, I don't use it anyway), except with his elbow on the armrest he then spreads his lower arm so his hand is just in front of my face and proceeds to read his newspaper...
I look at him a couple of times, he ignores me.
For a second he takes his arm off the armrest, I take my opportunity and places mine, carefully not going over the middle, but just enough to prevent him from getting in my space grin
He huffs, puffs, turns his newspaper sideways... and finally he gets it and reads his paper folder in one page (instead of spread out on two pages IYSWIM).

I'm so happy! Am I pathetic? Maybe. But this is a victory for me as every single time in trains/planes/buses etc, the person next to me spreads over my seat because they are taller/larger. Ha!

Pengggwn Thu 07-Dec-17 18:44:38

Well done, OP!

PurplePillowCase Thu 07-Dec-17 18:47:01

well done.
I like to put my bag between my legs so that I have to push those legs away.
or ram my knuckles into the back of someone leaning onto the pole (I can't hold on above my head, makes me faint).

Pengggwn Thu 07-Dec-17 18:47:59

I just say, "Excuse me, your newspaper is in my face. Could you move it back, please."

Tentomidnight Thu 07-Dec-17 18:48:06

👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼 well done - a small but significan victory!

FuzzyCustard Thu 07-Dec-17 18:49:33

In this position (happened more than a few times) I have done much leaning forward to get something from my bag on the floor, hence bashing his paper with my head/arm/thing from bag etc. And leaning into his paper when the tube goes round a corner.
He's a cheeky git...you win!

Slightlyperturbedowlagain Thu 07-Dec-17 18:50:43

Well done! All those Little acts of assertion might turn into a change in male behaviour one day smile I once said I did mind on a plane when the large man next to me asked if I minded having the arm rest up. I said I'd rather keep it down thanks. Was very proud of myself that day (and much more comfortable than being squashed out of part of my seat and trying to avoid actual body contact through the flight)

bettytaghetti Thu 07-Dec-17 18:51:26

You should have started talking to him about whatever article was on the page in front of you. Nothing like talking to a stranger -shock, horror!- on the tube to clear a bit of space around you! grin

newtlover Thu 07-Dec-17 18:51:29

well done op

MatildaTheCat Thu 07-Dec-17 18:52:11

This morning at the dentist a man was siting in the middle seat of a fixed set of 3 and using up all of them. Tiny waiting room. I squeezed into a corner seat and did some hard staring but did he care?

blueshoes Thu 07-Dec-17 19:02:57

Good one, betty and well done to OP

Iamagreyhoundhearmeroar Thu 07-Dec-17 19:16:13

A simple "excuse me, could you move please?" works wonders, actually. Maybe they just don't see all this hard staring? confused

MatildaTheCat Thu 07-Dec-17 19:20:35

imagreyhound you are, of course right but I’m British (to coin a phrase from another poster).If there had been no alternative I would quite definitely have said something.

Spangles1963 Thu 07-Dec-17 19:22:30

I've never had a bloke manspreading his newspaper in my face,but I did have one sitting behind me and trying to use my head to rest his newspaper on! I pushed it off pretty sharply and turned round and glared at him. He just looked back insolently at me but didn't do it again.

Originalfoogirl Thu 07-Dec-17 19:26:47

I’m little and won the same fight on a plane once. To the point he eventually moved seats! Big win.

MarrowWang Thu 07-Dec-17 19:31:23

I find challenging manspreaders to be quite fun. On a fairly regular basis I have a faceoff with one of them. I have won a few times. It helps pass the times now grin

MarrowWang Thu 07-Dec-17 19:31:53

Oh I don't stare at them. I push back with my own leg while they are trying to spread.

cdvegan2023 Thu 07-Dec-17 19:32:16

Well done OP! A small victory, yes, but a journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step. And patriarchy is patriarchy no matter its nuance, whether it's the UK or Saudi Arabia.

MidLifeCrisis2017 Thu 07-Dec-17 19:34:53

I’ve told this story before but DD was on a crowded tube train and a man politely asked a man spreader to close his legs so he could sit on the seat next to him. The guy smacked him in the face whilst holding keys...DD ended up taking him to A and E.

HermionesRightHook Thu 07-Dec-17 19:39:06

Manspreaders are all total bastards. I enjoy toying with them until I have more space. A sliver as we go around the corner. A centimeter when I have to put my bag down and root in it. A sudden jump at the loud tannoy announcement and I gain an inch.

A woman actually gave me a tiny wink when she saw what I was doing the other day.

DJBaggySmalls Thu 07-Dec-17 19:44:05

Well done but do take care, theres a video of a woman who was punched in the face for challenging a manspreader. He's since been arrested.

AdoraBell Thu 07-Dec-17 19:59:37

Absolutely not pathetic. Get that thought out of your head right now.

Bloody well done 👍

SchadenfreudePersonified Thu 07-Dec-17 19:59:50

The stories about man spreaders actually being physically aggressive are horrendous! shock

What is the matter with some people?

1DAD2KIDS Thu 07-Dec-17 20:00:53

I think everyone should not be shy to be assertive and ensure a their fair proportion of seating. I usually fine a simple 'excuse me' or 'excuse me while I squeeze my self in there' to the woman or man taking up space as I sit my self down is sufficient for them to concede space. I think for anyone who uses public transport its not an uncommon experience that we all share. Shame that some people don't have the decency to give proper consideration to others as they sit in the space next to them.

duffaho Thu 07-Dec-17 20:03:39

I like doing the small and almost imperceptible movements that win me the space. But a friend had a finer victory in a cinema when seated next to a large manspreader of the opinionated kind - harrumphing about the upcoming film and generally being disapproving about the company he was in. The film hadnt even started .
She tried the small movements but he was aware and pushed back while grumbling under his breath. The fight was on!
She started being 'enthusiastic' about everything - the sweet she was passed-much lip smacking , the adverts - lots of oohing and aahing , the music - lively seated gyrations . By the time the film came on he had swapped seats with his partner and my friend enjoyed the film in peace and quiet .

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