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Why is this so frigging difficult?!

(3 Posts)
Misstomrs Wed 06-Dec-17 22:01:19

Sorry. Just need a bit of a rant.

So when my son was born we had a trainee midwife who couldn’t read a CTG. My DS’s heart rate was all over the place and when - after nearly an hour - the qualified midwife came in there was a rush for a Dr, forceps and basically my DS was ripped out. He could have died.

It took 10 months for the hospital to ‘find’ my notes and admit this, along with a number of other issues.

18 months later I am still not propely continent and my husband and I can’t have sex as it’s so painful.

The consultant at the hospital spent the first 9 months trying to sort my continence, and when it became clear that had gone as far as it could then we started looking at my other issues.

Unfortunately I had to see a Registrar in April, who said I should expect my episiotomy scar to hurt for around 7 years and just take ibuprofen for pain before sex. If I really HAD to have some help with it I would need to be re-referee in as it was not a continence issue. I got re-referred and an appointment in November.

Come Sept / Oct I saw the consultant who said that was hogwash, took one look (finally!) and said I clearly needed surgery.
That consultant apparently made a note I should have surgery within 3 weeks as I had already waited since April. However, a mistake was made somewhere and I spent weeks chasing to get listed with someone else with 10 days notice. I complained. I am finally listed with the consultant I have been seeing, nearly 2 years after my DS was born.

Today, I got the letter from my consultant appointment in Sept / Oct. it doesn’t mention I am having surgery. It doesn’t explain what’s going to happen / how long I will need off etc and the consultant didn’t cover that in our appointment as it was meant to be about my continence.
So now I have surgery listed. I don’t know what they’ll do. I don’t know how long I need off sick.

And the consultant hasn’t put in the letter that I should def be a c-section, as she promised.

I just feel so, so let down.

Why is it so hard to get what should be basic stuff right?

I’m sorry for the rant. I just feel a bit lost. Do I raise the issue with the letter now? Should I call the consultants secretary? I feel bad because I keep pestering her but I don’t know how to move this forward positively any more.

confusedlittleone Wed 06-Dec-17 22:14:04

Your letter won't have exactly what's in your notes in it- so it's probably written in your hospital notes not the letter. As for the surgery information that will be given to you when you have a pre op appointment with the surgeon

Misstomrs Wed 06-Dec-17 22:17:11

That would make sense if it wasn’t day surgery confused. Unfortunately it’s all happening in one clinic appointment, so no opportunity to discuss it beforehand. It looks like most places do this kind of procedure under general anaesthetic but my hospital do it under local with gas & air.

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