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Tell me I am being unreasonable

(10 Posts)
RestingGrinchFace Wed 06-Dec-17 20:05:37

I am being unreasonable, completely unreasonable. My father has been referred for biopsy for skin cancer. There are all kinds of contextual issues exacerbating things but the short of it is that I love him, he is too young and I am devestated. But I don't even known whether it is skin cancer yet-his dermatologist is great so it is possible that he is being over cautious. Even if he does have it he is quite unlikely to die from it. But dear god it hurts so much. I don't understand how it can so much when I feel so numb. My children are sleeping so now that I finally have some peace the thoughts about worst case scenarios are all consuming, please tell me how stupid I am being, the blunter the better.

Stormwhale Wed 06-Dec-17 20:10:14

I can understand why you are so worried, but I think you are catstrophising. Firstly, this may all be for nothing if it isn't cancer. Secondly, I know at least 5 people who have had skin cancer and had a small op to remove it and needed no further treatment. You need to bring yourself back to the present and the facts at hand; it might not be skin cancer, and even if it is, it may well be easily treated. flowers

SingaSong12 Wed 06-Dec-17 20:14:51

I'm so sorry this is happening to you and your father. flowers
I don't think you are being stupid - cancer is scary and so is a possible diagnosis. The unknown is scary as well so I'm not surprised it's on your mind whatever the background.

I'm sure other MNetters can offer more support based on personal experience.

RestingGrinchFace Wed 06-Dec-17 20:15:16

Ok, that's really comforting. Thank you. When ever I hear the word cancer it just goes straight to the heart. You're right though, not all cancers are equal.

Dippysnowoman Wed 06-Dec-17 20:45:41

My Dad was recently referred by his dermatologist for a biopsy OP. It did come back as skin cancer but a very small operation later under local anaethsetic and they have managed to remove it all.
The word cancer scared the hell out of me too but just wanted you to know it doesn't always have to be as bad as it sounds x
Sending good wishes to you and your dad x x flowers

RestingGrinchFace Wed 06-Dec-17 20:56:03

@Dippy I'm glad to hear that it went well for you. If you don't mind my asking did he require any further treatment? I am very co corned about my grandmother finding out-she is not at all well I do think that it would be the end of her which is not at all how I hope she goes.

bayseyan Thu 07-Dec-17 01:47:25

Many skin cancers can be removed and that's the end of it. Often the biopsy will remove the entire mole and no further treatment is required beyond continuing to check for more suspicious moles (which everyone should be doing anyway).

You're not overreacting by being concerned, but all skin cancers are not equal. DO NOT google anything until you have a diagnosis, and even the , be careful, you will just unnecessarily stress your self further.

Dippysnowoman Thu 07-Dec-17 15:15:03

No further treatment required. Just a follow up in 2 months to see if anything has changed.
Fingers crossed all stays clear x

curryforbreakfast Thu 07-Dec-17 15:18:33

I know you're upset but you are going really ott. I had a skin cancer many years ago, it was literally just cutting out a small section of skin, it wasn't even deep and I barely have a scar. It was nothing.

Mandalorian Thu 07-Dec-17 15:21:57

I think when a parent is ill like that it kind of makes you feel vulnerable. You see Dad as protector but actually you've now realised he's human, at least that is how I felt when my Dad was ill.

The best you can do is put it to the back of your mind as hard as that sounds. Chances are it's nothing.

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