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To tell my boss interviewee is a dick?

(80 Posts)
girlingerrupting Wed 06-Dec-17 19:01:52

I left my old job because of a cabal of sexist and bullying men. I was hired in my new one without mentioning it too much and wanted to leave it all behind.

Two in particular were hard to deal with. One was busy sleeping with assistants (through birth of his first child and beyond) being everyone's best friends but underneath a snake and undermining/scheming. Being straight forward I was pretty easy target. I was in my last job for more than 10yrs but last two nearly broke me and I ended up paranoid and cornered. I was being frozen out for speaking my mind.

Luckily new job really wanted me and after 2yrs have shed paranoia and am really enjoying myself again. Collegiate ambitious place. And I'm delivering for them.

Found out today we are interviewing one of the bullies who was so politically motivated! He was fired by the other horrible guy who found him too much of a threat..! Sounds like people like (as people do because he's very good at winning everyone round and politics particularly with men).

So AIBU to try to block us hiring him? Risk really is that i may fail then I will be the person who didn't want great wonderful guy to come but he came anyway!!! So I must be the problem!! But if I don't I might regret it!!!

I'm crap at politics please help.....but so scared of hating my job again.

SandyY2K Wed 06-Dec-17 19:08:53

Do you think he'll get a good reference from his old job? Because most job offers are subject to satisfactory references.

Also would you be on the interview panel? If so .. I'd let the others know that you need to back out... as you know him from working together.

They may then ask what you think of him... in which case you say how you experienced him when working together.

KenAdams Wed 06-Dec-17 19:22:38

No. We've blocked people from getting jobs in other organisations before because of things like fraud etc.

Belleende Wed 06-Dec-17 19:29:49

You can get a message across without actually saying you don't think he should be fired. Things like "I am sure in the right circs, X would be amazing, but I wonder if this role is the right fit, he did struggle with y when I worked with him. Perhaps this is him trying to widen his skill set. (Y must be vital for role).

If the hiring manager has any sense they should ask you what you think of him. If they do, then you do need to say something just be a bit subtle.

MadForlt Wed 06-Dec-17 19:34:42

As a manager, if someone said something to me, I would say something like 'I appreciate your concerns, but I'm afraid we have to follow our company procedures'.

And then I would find a way to include a question or two in the interview that could highlight the issues.

Watto1 Wed 06-Dec-17 19:42:03

I left a job because my immediate boss was a total cow who made my life hell. 2 years later, my new boss in my new company received a job application from my old boss (for a position at the same level as me -ha!) and asked me what I thought of her, as he knew we had worked at the same company. I told him that I would tender my resignation if he employed her and I meant it. No way would I work with her again. He tore up her application form.

museumum Wed 06-Dec-17 19:56:10

You have to say something. What’s your relationship with the person hiring? Are you similar seniority? Do you get on?
I’d say that you know him from before with a sad serious tone. They’re bound to ask and you can say that he’s great at first impressions but that there were issues and politics and also that he was involved in a sexist culture you are so glad to say doesn’t exist at new company.

Be3Al2Si6O18 Wed 06-Dec-17 20:01:28

I'm crap at politics please help

No, your post indicates you are actually very good at understanding politics, but have no experience of speaking it. But there is a conflict in your situation and it is not you. It is here;

Collegiate ambitious place. and Sounds like people like (as people do because he's very good at winning everyone round and politics particularly with men) do not go together. That is because something is not quite complete in this process and it is information. Ah, it is always information.

There are three scenarios.

1. You go to your manager and their line manager (ie at least two people) and tell them everything in a calm straight forward matter of fact way and let them know. No judgment at all. None. That is their job*. In a collegiate firm, your information is a given, it is never contingent or negotiable. It is open to be received. You share already respected. This is your kind of firm. So you cannot withhold this kind of information.

2A. You do nothing, he joins and is the complete dick still. They fire him because his character will out him in due course.

2B. You do nothing, he joins but is no longer a complete dick. He has changed his ways, has learned something somehow and is evolving into a decent person. It happens.

The only risk to you is if you say nothing and 2A happens and (as it will) they later learn you knew this anyway. How collegiate would you appear then. If you were on Goods Inward at a cider company would you allow a lorry of moulded apples to be tipped into the fermentation process?

There is no downside to you. If you think there is in this scenario you are very much mistaken;

2C. You do nothing, he joins and is the complete dick still. They do not fire him despite his character because he is really good at winning business.

Because then you know this is not the business for you. There are other businesses.

ForalltheSaints Wed 06-Dec-17 20:02:49

You should say something. Not just for yourself but for your colleagues. A reference may be kind or miss out details either because the old firm fears being sued or to ensure he has another job and cannot darken their doorstep.

It's worth noting that sexism and bullying are probably taken more seriously than even a few months ago.

MrTrebus Wed 06-Dec-17 20:05:34

If it was my boss we'd already have had a conversation along the lines of he's a massive twat don't hire him and she would have listened, but we're thick as thieves! Seriously though your boss will want to know, do tell them! They don't want to hire someone like that but sounds like he'll schmooze his way through the interview so tell your boss/interviewer the background so they can question him accordingly in an interview (some well worded questions!) Or just decline to interview him.

Be3Al2Si6O18 Wed 06-Dec-17 20:06:21

Sorry, the * bit was just to say that if I interviewed him the first 20 minutes would be about finding out his character and if (and only if) I felt it was flawed the next 20 would be in making him aware of those issues and if he did not then respond positively within that time I would have my answer. The interview would not last beyond 45 minutes and I would have wasted less than an hour. Have trust in your team.

LondonCrone Wed 06-Dec-17 20:08:04

You should ABSOLUTELY say something. I'm actually surprised they didn't come to you when they found out you'd worked with him already. You can't get all of the relevant information about a candidate from an interview and a reference - any good hiring manager would seek out (and welcome!) all of the information they can get. A hire like this could poison the camaraderie of the entire office; I bet they would thank you for warning them off (my boss certainly would).

JennyHolzersGhost Wed 06-Dec-17 20:09:14

I think it entirely depends what kind of workplace and industry you’re in. In my workplace and industry it’s very reputation based and also there are lots of informal mentoring structures by which something like this could be raised with someone sufficiently senior to have influence, in an informal manner without it being a big deal. Other industries and workplaces are absolutely not like that though.

girlingerrupting Wed 06-Dec-17 20:14:27

They have come to me and asked my opinion today my boss hadn't remembered I wasn't in so tried to find me then emailed me but I'm not in the office until Monday (work not pleasure) and I was kind of surprised by how far they had already gone in the interview process when they asked me.

I'm nervous of them dismissing my opinion and then drowning in all that crap again.

He is good at his job although not as good as he makes out, but it's his underhand political nature that unnerves me.

You know how some people are really good at making everyone look good and others only seem to look good at the expanse of others...

girlingerrupting Wed 06-Dec-17 20:15:57

He'll sail the interview, I liked him when I interviewed him at my last place.

girlingerrupting Wed 06-Dec-17 20:18:39

My industry is male dominated so it's especially tricky.

I guess i need to say something the question is what?

I've arranged to meet him - seems like the grown up thing to do. He thought he'd been brought in senior to me at the last place but he most definitely is no more than my equal here if he comes....

girlingerrupting Wed 06-Dec-17 20:22:15

Be3Al by the way 2C is what I'm trying to avoid... because moving businesses is not easy! And I'm valued and settled. Why do the men always win!! Can't I be just communicate well enough either with him or them to prevent that?

JennyHolzersGhost Wed 06-Dec-17 20:25:04

Ok so they asked your opinion, that’s good. I’d say something like you found him a divisive presence or not really a team player. If it’s someone you trust who is asking you, then I’d tell them he is part of the reason you left your last place.

I definitely wouldn’t have contacted him or meet up with him though. Why put yourself on the front line of this ?! If he gets the job he will trample all over you and if he doesn’t then the fact that you met with him will indicate to him that you were somehow influential in the decision. What possible good can it do ?!

tattyheadsmum Wed 06-Dec-17 20:25:12

They've actually taken the time to seek you out AND send you an email to seek your opinion; why would you worry that they'll dismiss your opinion when you do give it? They seem to be really making an effort to find out what you think!

It seems like this guy really did a number on you last time if, after all those efforts to get your thoughts, you still doubt that they'll listen.

Don't worry about what to say; just tell the truth. He's not a team player and he's manipulative. One of these people that interviews well. That this is a nice place to work and you're concerned that he would make it less so.

If I'd gone out of my way to find out what one of my employees thought, and she said that, I'd be putting this guy's CV in the "bugger off" pile.

Good luck. x

JennyHolzersGhost Wed 06-Dec-17 20:25:43

Call rather than write btw.

tattyheadsmum Wed 06-Dec-17 20:25:54

Oh no! Why would you arrange to meet him? You don't owe him anything!

RestingGrinchFace Wed 06-Dec-17 20:25:56

Ok, sovthey have asked your opinion so you have to give it to them. Try not to make it personal. Just say something along the lines of "His behaviour at the time that I worked alongside him raised concerns. Several people expressed discomfort regarding his behaviour. His behaviour caused problems within the office that had a rather negative impact on some of our coworkers. Based on my knowledge of this individual I would not reccomend giving him the position. Etc." Very impersonal, try not to give too specific examples unless they ask. Do you know whether anyone ever file a complaint to HR about him? If they did I would suggest you mention that "Concerns about his behaviour were raised with HR at the time that I worked with him."

RestingGrinchFace Wed 06-Dec-17 20:27:18

Definitely do not meet him. Why would you?

Be3Al2Si6O18 Wed 06-Dec-17 20:32:41

My industry is male dominated so it's especially tricky.

Why do the men always win!!

Well, as a male employer of over 600 people, I find your comments OP judgmental. And I thought you may respond something along these lines, as you opening post indicated that you might. I was right.

Perhaps think about whether you are right for your current firm. You might not be.

QuiteLikely5 Wed 06-Dec-17 20:33:19

Meeting him is the last thing you should do!

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