My husband and I separated 2 weeks ago. It was my decision, but based on his dreadful behaviour. Not an ideal situation as I am currently 5 months pregnant and we have 3 young children 5,4 and 2.
Ever since I found out I was pregnant and our youngest was diagnosed with autism (on the same day)my husband started becoming distant and was spending as much time away from home as possible. Whenever he was home he was horrible. Snapping at me and the kids and not lifting a finger to help even though our 2 youngest are autistic and I am pregnant.
He bought a sports car ($105,000) even though we were supposed to be saving money for an extension and I asked him not to. He lost weight. I thought it was a midlife crisis or an affair. After 5 months of him being a total ass I told him I had had enough and wanted to separate. He breaks down and tells me he has a drug addiction and thats why he is acting this way etc. It explains everything, but it also doesn't excuse his behaviour.
We have been together for 11 years and he has always been very controlling, very selfish. In the past has been physically abusive, but now is more verbally abusive (calls me a bitch if he thinks I'm being mean etc), very emotionally abusive (now that we have split up I am the world to him and no-one will ever love me like he does, I am being selfish not to put the kids first and give him another chance, he will kill himself if we don't get back together etc). He got me fired from a previous job for being so possessive he would turn up at the office and yell at the admin staff asking where I was. He used to tell me he didn't like me wearing certain thing, certain perfumes, too much makeup etc.
To his credit, he has gotten better, but 3 kids in and he has never done a night feed, never changed a nappy and basically never been a father to his children. He earns a really high salary and thinks that is enough.
He has now said that if I don't want to get back with him he will move to the other side of the country, this means he will basically never see our kids. I am more than happy with never seeing him again, but I feel sad for the boys.
Anyway, sorry for the rant. I am basically asking if I am being unreasonable not to give him another chance. He keeps saying that even if I don't love him, we can still be together for the kids. But honestly, I am so happy being by myself since he moved out. I don't know if that is selfish of me, but I can't imagine having to deal with his crap ever again.
If you managed to get this far then please let me know if IABU. Thank you!!
Please or to access all these features
Please
or
to access all these features
AIBU?
AIBU not to give my husband another chance?
72 replies
LillyPillly · 06/12/2017 13:19
OP posts:
Don’t want to miss threads like this?
Weekly
Sign up to our weekly round up and get all the best threads sent straight to your inbox!
Log in to update your newsletter preferences.
You've subscribed!
Please create an account
To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.