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Christmas family politics. AIBU?

(10 Posts)
ChristmasFamilyJoy Wed 06-Dec-17 09:23:39

I don't think IABU but what do you think?

I live in the same town as my DM.

I have a brother and a half brother (HB) - same dad. They live fairly close to each other, about 150 miles away.

DB will be with us at Christmas. HB will be at home so I won't see him. I had planned to visit next weekend instead. HB has no room to put me and DC up so the plan was to stay with DB (who doesn't have much room) for one night.

When she found out I was going, DM invited herself too. DB doesn't have room to fit us all in without a squeeze and the point of going wasn't to see DB as such but to see HB. I had planned to stay in a hotel but DB said not to.

AIBU to tell DM she can't come as it's a visit to my HB not my DB? It would completely change the whole dynamic and DM will see DB plenty over Christmas.

Fishface77 Wed 06-Dec-17 09:25:54

Yep tell her to go another time.

JustHappy3 Wed 06-Dec-17 09:48:07

Book the hotel. Your mum can have a lift but you focus on your hb and pick her up to go home.

ChristmasFamilyJoy Wed 06-Dec-17 09:59:07

I think my DB would also like to spend some family time with HB, me and DC though too, JustHappy.

I'll have to tell DM no and accept she's going to be offended but unreasonably so.

JustHappy3 Wed 06-Dec-17 10:32:59

Ah ok - then sweeten the pill by suggesting another get together for Jan/Feb.

I feel for her a little bit - do you think it would make your hb feel awkward to see her or would she be the one subtly edging him out? Or will you feel tense in case things have the potential to kick off or you feel freer to talk about your dad?

It's a hard one. Sorry mu sugg was far too simplistic.

JustHappy3 Wed 06-Dec-17 10:33:30

My suggestion not mu sugg

HolyShet Wed 06-Dec-17 10:37:43

Would she travel with you or separately?

If she will have time with you both together over Christmas I think DB should say - sorry mum there's no room really. OR she comes for one night and then toddles off home whilst you do HB things?

Spam88 Wed 06-Dec-17 10:59:16

Surely it's your DB's decision as to whether she can stay with him or not?

ChristmasFamilyJoy Wed 06-Dec-17 11:25:17

Spam you would have thought it was DB's decision but he would also be worried about saying no!

HB would be very polite about it all but it would be a bit weird and the atmosphere would be different.

She would be travelling with me, but it's not going to happen!

JustHappy3 Wed 06-Dec-17 12:48:34

You could get your brother to ring her and say "Mum i would really like to spend some time 1:1 with you. Don't come up with DSis come in Jan/Feb" and then you owe him!

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