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AIBU to not want to go to my colleague’s house for dinner?

(332 Posts)
Skarossinkplunger Wed 06-Dec-17 07:49:10

I’m two months into a new job where I share an office with a male colleague. We’re still in the getting to know each other stage but he seems like a nice bloke. We get on well and have not been in a social situation.

His partner works here too but is currently on maternity leave. She called in with the baby unannounced yesterday and attempted to engage in a long conversation which was a pain as I was really busy. She was asking lots of questions and I got the distinct feeling I was being ‘assessed’.

The conversation ended with her inviting my husband and I for dinner at their house and completely cringe-worthy PDA with my colleague as she left.

AIBU to not want to have dinner with two people I barely know just so she can make I don’t hit in her partner?

sooperdooper Wed 06-Dec-17 07:50:49

You sound bonkers, she was trying to be friendly, I'm sure it's nothing to do with thinking you'd hit on her partner

Lighten up, if she's on mat leave she's probably just wanting some adult conversation!

Rinoachicken Wed 06-Dec-17 07:53:26

She’s sounds like she’s trying to be friendly?

IceFall Wed 06-Dec-17 07:55:08

Sounds friendly. I’d go, it’s how one makes new friends.

Skarossinkplunger Wed 06-Dec-17 07:55:21

Is “I hear you’ve been married for four months, I hope you’re not getting bored of him already?” Just being friendly?

FannyFifer Wed 06-Dec-17 07:55:21

I would never socialise with colleagues. Just say no thanks. Can't think of anything worse.

Orangeplastic Wed 06-Dec-17 07:56:11

I agree you do sound a bit bonkers - it's only dinner, a getting to know you, quite welcoming, we can't get out of the house so we'll socialise at home type thing - are you normally suspicious of perfectly normal invitations?

Orangeplastic Wed 06-Dec-17 07:57:27

I hear you’ve been married for four months, I hope you’re not getting bored of him already Sounds like somethings said in jest - surely?

Skarossinkplunger Wed 06-Dec-17 07:57:50

And no I don’t want to socialise with colleagues.

steff13 Wed 06-Dec-17 07:58:26

Is “I hear you’ve been married for four months, I hope you’re not getting bored of him already?” Just being friendly?

It sounds like a joke, so I'd say yes.

AnachronisticCorpse Wed 06-Dec-17 07:58:34

I think you have her pegged. She’s at home with the baby and getting her knickers in a knot about the new female colleague. She’s probably been advised to invite you to dinner to suss you out, I’ve seen that very advice on here.

Just nod and smile.

Orangeplastic Wed 06-Dec-17 07:58:54

And no I don’t want to socialise with colleagues. What's the drama then? - just politely decline.

Applesandpears23 Wed 06-Dec-17 08:00:20

Refusing could cause friction. Agree vaguely and say you need to check with your husband about dates and then delay delay delay.

picklemepopcorn Wed 06-Dec-17 08:02:26

Say 'that's a lovely offer, but I really like to keep work and home separate'.

Bluntness100 Wed 06-Dec-17 08:02:35

Ah, you’re gorgeous and a threat to this woman, she needs to befriend you to make sure you don’t “hit” on your colleague as he would be putty in your hands due to your sexy awesomeness.

Either that or she was trying to be friendly and they actually love each other.

I’d plump for you’re fucking gorgeous and men can’t resist you too.hmm

Skarossinkplunger Wed 06-Dec-17 08:03:36

I am worried that refusing will be awkward. The PDA was very much marking her territory

Only1scoop Wed 06-Dec-17 08:04:42

She has a sense of humour

You sound like you lack one

I'd decline then you won't spoil their evening

Sayyouwill Wed 06-Dec-17 08:05:24

So someone was nice to you and you've decided she must be threatened by you?

Talk about self obsessed!

Only1scoop Wed 06-Dec-17 08:06:02

Just say no can do this side of Christmas and forget to rearrange

They will get the hint or bored of asking

Oddsocksforeveryone Wed 06-Dec-17 08:06:06

She could be paranoid or she could just be bored. Either way it doesn't matter if you don't want to go then don't.
As for the comment, I would have assumed it was a joke and probably have said yes, I'm just waiting for him to sort his life insurance out before I bump him off. (I may have actually said this before)

Slartybartfast Wed 06-Dec-17 08:06:10

just go, be nice, she will come back to work, you share an office with your colleague.
you have no choice i fear

Skarossinkplunger Wed 06-Dec-17 08:07:32

Bluntness I didn’t realise we had met wink

TheDuchessofDukeStreet Wed 06-Dec-17 08:08:41

I think that keeping work and home separate is a good plan always. Decline any invitations. Do not give this any more thought.

Anatidae Wed 06-Dec-17 08:09:12

Swingers. smile

LimpidPools Wed 06-Dec-17 08:09:32

Ugh, sounds awful OP. I wouldn't want to go for dinner at a colleague's house even without any suspected ulterior motive from my hosts.

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