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To mention it?

(23 Posts)
triggeredbyidiots Wed 06-Dec-17 06:22:37

We had a baby sitter at the weekend. We decided to pay her a little extra. DH hands over the money folded up but didn't mention the extra cash. Girls takes it still folded but also didn't check the amount! We thanked her and she left! I asked DH why he didn't say we are giving extra, he just shrugs.
I've seen her since and she hasn't mentioned it. I wonder if she has not looked at the money yet but I kinda want to be acknowledged for it otherwise, what's the point of paying extra??
WiBU to mention it the next time I see her?

Tink2007 Wed 06-Dec-17 06:25:01

I would just say something along the lines of “We really appreciate all you do so consider the bit extra we gave you last time as a thank you”.

MumGoneMild Wed 06-Dec-17 06:26:39

Why does it need to be mentioned?
Your supposed to do nice things for the warm fuzziness not for the praise

Pengggwn Wed 06-Dec-17 06:27:27

This makes no sense to me at all. You gave the money, I assume, to show that you appreciate her. Why the needy demand for it to be acknowledged? She will probably say thanks next time she sees you.

triggeredbyidiots Wed 06-Dec-17 06:31:35

@MumGoneMild @Pengggwn
I don't think she even knows we are trying to say we really appreciate her! I wanted to be able to tell her and then give her the extra! And I have seen her since, even if I shouldn't expect any thanks, shouldn't she say thank you anyway when she saw the extra money!?

Pengggwn Wed 06-Dec-17 06:36:43

Maybe she forgot how much was originally agreed. Maybe she just put the folded up notes straight in her purse and doesn't actually count them.

How much extra are you talking? I wouldn't notice an additional fiver in my purse to be honest.

You sound like you care about this a lot more than it merits.

Japanese Wed 06-Dec-17 06:37:03

How old is she? Maybe she just feels a bit shy to say thank you after the event. Or maybe she thinks you gave her the extra by mistake & doesn't want to point it out? grin

Lovestonap Wed 06-Dec-17 06:37:15

Making a big thing of giving her extra is a bit patronising in my opinion. It's always a bit awkward giving/receiving payment., folding it up and handing it over is the right thing to do.
This does read like you want to be considered benevolent and generous tbh.

HuskyMcClusky Wed 06-Dec-17 06:39:29

She knows what it’s for. confused I don’t understand why you need her to say anything. She is probably just shy!

Splinterz Wed 06-Dec-17 06:46:36

I kinda want to be acknowledged for it otherwise, what's the point of paying extra??

Aww so you get that warm fuzzy feeling of your underlings being grateful hmm

I never ever count the money in front of the parents, it’s very awkward!

The point of paying extra is because she’s done a good job and you want to thank her, not to make yourself feel better

triggeredbyidiots Wed 06-Dec-17 14:10:20

I think people are deliberately skewing my posts. I'm not trying to patronise the babysitter or trying to be a hero for paying more money. We paid her 50% more. If we didn't tell her about it and she hasn't realised it has happened, like Pengggwn** said she wouldn't notice it in her purse, then how have we shown her appreciation?? And if she has indeed realised the extra money since, wouldn't it be polite to acknowledge it? We are just not allow to say anything to let her know we think she did a good job!? hmm

WheresTheEvidence Wed 06-Dec-17 14:13:39

But how much extra was it?

I'm a nanny and babysit if I got an extra £5 or a £42 babysit rounded upto £50 if be happy and grateful but wouldn't be writing thrm a thank you note. An extra £20 And if text just to say - I think you've over paid

Mamabear4180 Wed 06-Dec-17 14:15:43

Whether you've let her know or she just has extra in her purse, the result is the same! She will have extra cash regardless. People don't usually have no idea how much money they have so she will likely have already noticed. It might be embarrassing for her to bring up but it will be much more cringy if you do now.

ZigZagIntoTheBlue Wed 06-Dec-17 14:15:47

I babysit, I never count the money in front of people, it's embarrassing enough to stand there while they fiddle with wallets and try to count whilst pissed. I'd also feel like I was checking up on them if I counted it in front of them, as if I thought they'd shortchange me. Depending on the time I get home and how knackered I am I will either see how much there is then or stick it in a spare wallet nd go straight to bed.
It would be nice if she'd text you to say thank you for the Christmas bonus but assuming she said a standard thanks when you handed it over initially she may feel she doesn't need to or she's worried it was a mistake and you'll ask for it back if she acknowledges it!

triggeredbyidiots Wed 06-Dec-17 21:08:41

Well I wouldn't expect her to count the money in front of us. Hence why I said DH should have given the agreed amount and then give the extra separately.

Snap8TheCat Wed 06-Dec-17 21:14:12

I say thank you when someone hands me the money but I wouldn’t bring it up again the next time I saw them.

I consider it a tip. Do you expect a waitress to thank you for a previous tip when you go back to a restaurant?

You sound like you think you’re a bit above the babysitter tbh. It’s a bit ott

dun1urkin Wed 06-Dec-17 21:16:40

I kinda want to be acknowledged for it otherwise, what's the point of paying extra??

shock
Are you my MIL???
This is the sort of bollocks she comes out with.

Softkitty2 Wed 06-Dec-17 21:17:45

Is it that much of a big deal? Let it go. Next time tell her you are tipping her if you want it recognised

Julie8008 Wed 06-Dec-17 22:36:01

You dont give waiters a heads up that you have left them a tip. Do you? Seems quite insulting to the babysitter to expect her to genuflect at the graciousness of her hosts. YABU

Caulk Wed 06-Dec-17 22:42:02

I think she is probably embarrassed. She doesn’t know if you gave her the extra or not and won’t know whether to bring it up or not. She may think of it as a Christmas bonus.

I’m assuming she is a teenager so I think you need to be the adult and text her saying you’ve given her extra because you appreciate her.

People are notoriously bad for talking about money so you’ll both be putting it off I imagine

Migraleve Wed 06-Dec-17 22:44:08

I don't think she even knows we are trying to say we really appreciate her

Then you should tell her.

But don't give extra money just because you want to look good.

Misspilly88 Wed 06-Dec-17 22:49:53

This is weird. Why would you say anything?

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