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AIBU?

To ask if you have any experience of probate and if you think they are trying to avoid giving us our share?

29 replies

ginplease8383 · 05/12/2017 21:53

DGF died in April 2017 and my sister and I are set to inherit my late father's share of his will. Its a fairly simple estate with a house in trust (this has been sold and the proceeds have gone through) left from my DGM years ago and some care bills to pay. The executors are family members who will not give any more information on its progress other than 'its still in process' and other very vague information. I have only asked them once about it as i don't want to pressure either of them and I know it must be awful concluding all of your parents affairs so I've tried to sit back.
Probate was granted about 6 weeks ago.
AIBU in thinking the lack of information could indicate they are trying to avoid giving us our share or am I jumping the gun?

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ginplease8383 · 05/12/2017 21:54

Probably just jumping the gun when i read my post! I just wish they'd communicate more with us.

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Viviennemary · 05/12/2017 22:01

There should be a solicitor involved here. It can take quite a while for it all to go through even if there aren't any complications. Especially if there are bills to be settled. I don't see any harm in asking. But I think I'd approach the solicitor dealing with it rather than the family members. I take it you have seen a copy of the will.

AveEldon · 05/12/2017 22:05

If you want more info you can pay £10 and get a copy of the probate record www.gov.uk/wills-probate-inheritance/searching-for-probate-records

SteelyPip · 05/12/2017 22:07

I may be jaded here (our process has been going on for 3 years.) Now I don't trust anybody.

You are perfectly within your rights to enquire and I would do so politely and firmly.

Janettaw · 05/12/2017 22:08

There doesn't need to be a solicitor involved. I have done a probate on my own. It does take a while as you need to get probate before the banks will release any funds and then you have to settle all the bills as well.

Littlesnail · 05/12/2017 22:09

I think it usually takes between 6 & 12 months if it's a straightforward probate. You have to wait for final bills to come in and accounts to be closed - it's just a lot of administration.
I doubt anyone is trying to avoid giving you their share - give them a chance to get familiar with the process and they'll probably communicate more. Forms and officialdom can be a bit daunting and I would guess that they're nervous about creating the wrong expectation until they're more confident about what's happening and when.

DancingLedge · 05/12/2017 22:13

If the executors are executing the estate as private individuals, of course it could take them longer than 6 weeks. Lawyers/solicitors, may also take their time. They may delay , in order to ensure there are no outstanding claims on the estate, before they disburse the funds.

Do you have some reason to jump to the conclusion that someone's ripping you off?

Janettaw · 05/12/2017 22:13

Presuming you have seen the will and know you are due a share I would just ask them again for a rough estimate of how much and when you might get it. Maybe explain what you need it for so that they understand where you're coming from.

There might be outstanding income tax or money owed to other public sector organisations which can take a while to sort out.

MrsTerryPratchett · 05/12/2017 22:15

The executors are family members Close family who will be in mourning and still processing? Or more distant?

ginplease8383 · 05/12/2017 22:15

I’ve got a copy of the will and my sibling and I will inherit our dads share. I’m not sure a solicitor is dealing with it one of the executors said they had a solicitor and then they said they didnt.
I did my father’s probate and I did take some time but I was able to progress quickly.

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ginplease8383 · 05/12/2017 22:19

Yes they are close family members I presume they are mourning which is why I haven’t asked them more than once. I suspect they might delay things indefinitely, are they able to do this?

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Viviennemary · 05/12/2017 22:22

I think you should be told whether or not there is a solicitor dealing with the will. I'd be suspicious if I didn't get a straight answer to this. But solicitors do charge for every letter written and it's not unknown for people to be discourage others from making enquiries in case the solicitor charges them and the bill goes up. Hopefully there is nothing untoward going on here. Are those executors going to pay themselves a fee for doing the Admin. I heard this can happen. But happy to be proved wrong.

AboutAGallonofDietCoke · 05/12/2017 22:26

Dad died July 2015 of cancer from asbestos (the day after my wedding) mum then died May 2016 after a botched operation meant she contacted that horrific flesh eating bug on her face.... back to back awful deaths mean I’ve been stuck in this nightmare for TWO AND A HALF FUCKING YEARS.
Oh and because of the circumstances I’ve had two inquests to deal with too.

In short, it takes a while and it’s infuriating! Not helpful more ranting in empathy 😞

HateIsNotGood · 05/12/2017 22:36

6 weeks isn't that long when it comes to executing a will. Be prepared to wait several months for it all to go through.

You say the Executors might still be grieving - so was the death that enacted the will only 6 weeks ago or was Probate granted then?

Either way I would say leave it for now - it usually takes a year more or less to finalize and make payments to the Beneficiaries.

I

The12DaysOfChristmasArentInNov · 05/12/2017 23:00

I had a similar situation (although no property) very simple will. All straightforward. Competent solicitors. It took almost 12 months to sort out. No one was delaying or contesting it was just how long it took.

Glumglowworm · 05/12/2017 23:10

They will be doing a lot of form filling and sending the probate document to different companies. They may want to get everything before they start paying anything out. They will definitely want to make sure all bills and debts are paid first.

Six weeks isn’t long, especially if they’re doing it themselves.

Iizzyb · 05/12/2017 23:11

I would poke your nose in & chase it up. I wouldn't just trust things are being dealt with. You can do it politely but you are entitled to know what's going on and also check your inheritance is being looked after.

ginplease8383 · 05/12/2017 23:29

I lost my father just over a year ago so I’ve been grieving all over again as he is the only reason I’m entitled to any money. I’ve been trying to be sensitive knowing that they lost their father and brother suddenly in a relatively short period of time. One of the executors said to me that they been doing my father’s share of visiting my grandparent since he died.
For clarity probate was granted 6 weeks ago. The death was in April

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birdladyfromhomealone · 05/12/2017 23:52

my mums probate took 3 years for the funds to come through after letters of administration were granted.6 weeks is very early days. Be patient it will come to you as its in the will the executors HAVE to abide by the will.

AmeliaFlashtart · 06/12/2017 02:35

It takes ages, notices have to be posted so debts can be settled etc, numerous forms to be sent off and people contacted. The executors don't have to use solicitors. You are named in the will as a beneficiary so you should get to see the final accounts in full showing you how the estate has been managed. It isn't a speedy process though.

yorkshireyummymummy · 06/12/2017 03:24

Personally I would be asking them what exactly is happening now ie what have they done, what needs to be done, estimates of time until the estate is settled etc.
Probate has been granted, you say there's only some care home bills to pay and the property has been sold and funds received.......so what's the delay??
Executors have a duty to keep people in the loop and to get a estate settled as swiftly as possible.
And sorry, but being in mourning is no excuse. I'm sure they are not still wearing black and utterly immersed in grief, unable to function ala Queen Victoria. If they are then maybe they might appreciate n offer of help.
I don't think there is anything wrong with asking for some sort of timeframe when probate has been granted.

KickAssAngel · 06/12/2017 03:41

that comment about the visiting sounds like there's some bitterness/resentment there. Maybe they think you should have done more and they are not exactly rushing to get you the money as a result.

It probably is Ok to ask about once a month, and to offer some help as well. If they have sold everything, and paid bills then they should be able to start paying out money.

NoFucksImAQueen · 06/12/2017 03:48

One of the executors said to me that they been doing my father’s share of visiting my grandparent since he died.

Fucking hell, what a comment!
Did they get on with your father? I wonder what the motive was behind making that statement

Seniorcitizen1 · 06/12/2017 10:28

If the estate is straight forward then you should have had a pay out by now. I was granted probabte for my mother's estate in September 2010 and everyone was given an interim pay out from investments and bank accounts etc in November , and then final pay out a year later when house finally sold.

ginplease8383 · 06/12/2017 10:36

They all bickered like some sets of siblings do but when he was gone i think there was a lot of regret and they were quite shocked and upset about his death as it was very unexpected.

Unfortunately it was very difficult to me the gap between their death, i was heavily pregnant when my DF died and with a toddler on top of that we were in the process of selling our house so i had all of that to deal with. i did go and visit him, as much as possible as it is to visit a nursing home with a baby and a toddler!

I think i will wait until after xmas and then i will start to make enquiries.

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