I am on a train. There is a man watching a golf tips video without headphones. What is reasonable as a response?

[SimultaneousEquation]

I’m being very British and occasionally giving him surprised looks. And huffing.

[drivingmisspotty]

Just say 'please could you use headphones?'

[PurpleWithRed]

Download the Archers podcast and play it very loud, laughing and gasping as appropriate.

Alternatively play loud music and drum along on the tabletop (if you have one)

[SimultaneousEquation]

Oh great powers of mumsnet, how do I channel you?

[LEMtheoriginal]

Shout "four" and lob a golf ball at his head

[Fekko]

You can only really join in or start telling him about your gall bladder op.

[SimultaneousEquation]

Grime? Is that the thing the youth do? Would that be an appropriate thing to search for on Spotify?

[AfterSchoolWorry]

Put some Mötorhead on your phone at top volume.

[SimultaneousEquation]

I am playing the annoying frog song.

[InfiniteSheldon]

Keep shouting Four at the top of your voice add in a couple of tee off old chaps. Tap him on the shoulder then tap the side of your nose nod twice and tell him you've got a handicap of zero.

[SimultaneousEquation]

Okay, the other passengers are looking and huffing now. I’m trying to pretend that wasn’t me...

[Fekko]

The archers there will be fine but only if you 'Tum ti tum ti tumpty tum' along.

[MaisyPops]

Say 'excuse me. Please wear some headphones if you're watching videos in public'.

[Fekko]

Or the variant 'excuse me. Please wear some headphones if you're watching porn in public'.

[SimultaneousEquation]

On YouTube, searched for violin prep test. Clicked first item...

[IJoinedJustToPostThis]

Radio 3? Classic FM? Top volume?

[SimultaneousEquation]

Golf man is looking my way. He has got message I think.

[bettytaghetti]

Tell him unless he wants his handicap to go up massively, put headphones on or volume off!

[NoelCowardsDressingGown]

Play very loud old school house and start building boxes.

[HarrietKettleWasHere]

Say 'oi you selfish knob fucking wanker, I bet you're shit at golf, why don't you buy some fucking headphones and stick them in your bloody lugholes you conceited ignorant bastard'.

It's been a very trying day

[SimultaneousEquation]

Okay. So I switch off. Then he switches back on. I’ll opt for something different.

[paxillin]

Knitting videos. How to cast on explained in 15 minutes.

[flutterby12]

@HarrietKettleWasHere 😂😂😂

[NoelCowardsDressingGown]

I bet he's manspreading as well isn't he.

[SimultaneousEquation]

Bob the builder big fish little fish cardboard box.

[SimultaneousEquation]

Are you on my train Noel?