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to stress out about competing obligations?

(8 Posts)
tinkertailorsoildersailor Tue 05-Dec-17 19:25:21

I work full time and have 2 young kids. Dp is a stay at home dad. At the moment I can never do what I want to do it seems, because of a continual stream of competing obligations. This week I have been invited out for a xmas meal and drinks on two separate nights - I can't do either because of work meetings and other obligations where I have to travel away on the train and won't get back in time / at all.

I want to spend more time doing xmas things with the kids like going to xmas markets but I'm always having to work / meet deadlines. My leisure invites and activities all seem to be when I can't get a babysitter or dp can't look after them.. I feel like I'm not in the right place at the right time, half the time!

I feel bored and frustrated? Anyone out there have their shit together and you life flows smoothly with a balance of fun and work? I'd like to hear from you!!! I'm in a grump!

RedSkyAtNight Tue 05-Dec-17 19:36:18

I think this is inevitable when you have young children never mind the working full time unless you want to pay a babysitter.

My social life was pretty much on hold for years - and I think it's worse at this time of year because there are so many things on!

RemainOptimistic Tue 05-Dec-17 19:42:57

Simple solution - quit your job and ban DP from ever leaving the house.

More realistic - make sure you and DP have equal evenings out, and push back on work to protect your leisure time better.

tinkertailorsoildersailor Tue 05-Dec-17 19:47:04

"push back on work to protect your leisure time better"
I think this may be the key. Perhaps I should stop trying to be the 'ideal worker'..... and slack off a bit. Easier said than done though - as I have some responsibilities for managing others...

Invisimamma Tue 05-Dec-17 19:50:48

I’m not sure what line of work you are in OP but have you ‘costed’ you time, by this I mean calculate the hours it would take you to fulfill all your work requirements. I did this recently and it was a shock to my line manager - in paid for 21houra but costing out my job description is more like 30 hours - so negotiated what needs to give.

Neverender Tue 05-Dec-17 19:52:30

Most of the 'fun' Christmas work stuff is crappy....just saying. You're not going to look back on your fantastic night with Bov from accounts...

tinkertailorsoildersailor Tue 05-Dec-17 20:05:17

just to clarify - the nights out are not with work folk - with old friends and colleagues I don't normally see!

dancinfeet Wed 06-Dec-17 11:59:57

This is my busiest time of the year work-wise, and I always end up turning down invites out, either because i am too busy or too exhausted. Our christmas always seems to be thrown together in a last min fog of panic over the last few days, I am ok getting presents in advance but our tree rarely gets put up earlier than the 23rd Dec, and I am always dashing round the shops on Christmas Eve for last min things. I know exactly what you mean OP, there never seems to be enough time to actually enjoy doing Christmassy things

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