Toddler too tired for nursery - sent him anyway

[user7654321]

So my 19 month old goes to nursery full time. He is a very good sleeper and has slept though for 11-12 hours every night for at least the past year, even if he has a temp or a cough that wakes us, he would sleep though it. That was until last night! I think he has a painful tooth coming though and literally screamed for more than half of the night. Nothing helped, teething gel, powder, nurofen, calpol, the lot! No temp or other symptoms except that he was drooling lots yesterday, and he wouldn’t take his dummy which only happens when teething.

Usually, he hates it if we cut his sleep short or wake him up. He doesn’t usually wake naturally until 7.30ish (regardless of bedtime) and we need to leave by 8am. So it’s a balance between waking him and him being very upset or letting him wake up very happy and a huge rush!

So last night he eventually fell asleep about 3am. Were we being cruel to wake him up at 7.45 and take him to nursery?

We both work full time and have taken a fair amount of time off for viruses/high temp recently so we were thinking that he doesn’t have a fever or cold symptoms, we can’t justify taking more time off work.

This morning was his ‘tired’ cry and I felt bloody awful.

[Wait4nothing]

I’d take him, I’m sure nursery will be used to tired children. He can have extra cuddles and they may attempt an extra nap. I’d save days off for illness

[Juicyfruitloop]

Yes I would take him, they are trained for all situations and he may be better later today.

[Callamia]

It’s ok. They should know how to be gentle with a tired (grouchy?) baby. He might find himself getting more cuddles then usual :)

[Belleende]

It's what you pay them for. Send him in.

[heron98]

It's nursery, not work. He can just chill out and play all day.

[mindutopia]

No, definitely not. You both have to work. You won't keep your jobs if you are staying home with your ds because he hates waking up early. I would let him sleep as long as he wants, get yourselves completely ready to walk out the door, and then ask nursery if you can bring his breakfast to have with them. There were several kids at my dd's nursery who had early starts with parents who needed to be at work early (we didn't drop off until 9, went straight to work after, but I mean the ones who started at 8 or 8:30). They would bring breakfast in for them and they'd sit down at a table when they got there and have their breakfast.

[user9217]

Op as a nursery worker I can honestly say it's what we're paid for. The staff at your Nursery will just sort him out accordingly eg making sure he gets his nap when he wants it, letting him sleep longer etc. You're fine!!!

[yorkshapudding]

To be a Mum is to feel guilty.

If you'd taken the day off you would be feeling guilty about work. You've sent him to Nursery and now you're feeling guilty about that. Don't. He will be fine. The Nursery staff will be used to dealing with tired children and will handle it. He may just nap for longer than usual.

[GeekyWombat]

I'd have taken him too OP. The nursery is geared up for catering for babies in this kind of situation. All that might happen is when you pick him up he'll have napped loads. And if so that just means you can have more cuddles and a bit of down time before bed (which might be what both of you need anyway).

Don't feel guilty.

[MaisyPops]

Take him in.
They'll be used to tired babies and toddlers.

It's not like you're sending him in with a bug

[RosesInTheHospital]

I’d have taken him in. He’ll just get extra cuddles/nap/lap time.

[Glumglowworm]

Yanbu

He’s tired, not ill. I’m sure the nursery staff are capable of dealing with a tired toddler.

[somanyusernames]

another one who'd take him in - i know, you sit at work and have that awful feeling in your gut all day, but when you go get him, he'll probably have slept lots and be much better. I still remember these times from when my DDs were this age, but they won't remember, and they're being properly looked after! Parenting whilst working ft takes a lot of emotional toughness - be kind to yourself.

They get sick so often at first (it gets better) that you have to take them in unless they are very under the weather. Just like the times they're slightly unwell but not unwell enough to take a day off.

[Originalfoogirl]

It didn’t happen often, but occasionally we had to do this. I always apologised to her and to the nursery. Those were the days she took her full naps. However, tonight at bedtime when he is getting on every nerve tired and cranky, just remember how bad you felt having to wake him up and try not to lose it 😂

That said, maybe ignore me as I am the mother who sent a child to nursery with a broken leg. Or, console yourself that you haven’t done anything that bad.

DISCLAIMER: I did not know the leg was broken, she seemed totally fine!

[waterrat]

At 19 months the nursery should be set up to offer your child the same care they would get from you. Ie. A nap whenever they want one and lots of carrying and cuddles. If they dont have that its not a good setting. So if you trust the nursery then you were fine to drop him off.

[user7654321]

Thanks everyone. You all made me feel better!

I realise I didn't really have any choice but to send him - I can imagine my employer thinking it would have been a bit of a joke to ask for last minute annual leave 'because me and my DS had a rough night and need a duvet day!'

I can imagine for some other parents this happens quite regularly and nurseries deal with tired little ones all the time (I explained when I dropped him off and they didn't bat an eyelid but at the same time reassured me!). However this is so unusual for us that we were completely thrown last night as nothing would usually get in the way of DS's full night's sleep!!

[thebellsareringingout]

user my dd2 went through at least a year of waking randomly between 12-2am once every week to two weeks - sometimes just for an hour, sometimes she'd decide it was breakfast time and was exhausted by 9am. Nurseries have seen it all as lots of children have patches of sleeping badly.