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To ask for regular contact days

(6 Posts)
Kit2015 Tue 05-Dec-17 08:30:42

My XH and I have been divorced for over a year now. We have a preschooler.

My XH has contact two days a week. Sometimes keeping her overnight.
My AIBU is should I insist that we have regular contact days?
Currently I get told the days a week (sometimes days) in advance of what he is having her the next coming week.

He Works pretty much full time and gets his Rota a few weeks in advance but always has some excuse as to why I can't have more than a weeks notice.
It makes it really hard to plan ANYTHING.

Our DD will be starting nursery next September and I would like to insist that he has her on set days each week to make some sort of regular routine.

I just worry that if I insist on this he won't see her as much and my DD will miss out.

NoelNiki Tue 05-Dec-17 08:56:40

How much planning do you need to do with a pre schooler?

Several days notice is plenty

TroelsLovesSquinkies Tue 05-Dec-17 09:00:13

I like everything planned out on a calendar more than one week in advance if possible OP so I don't think you are being unreasonable. Doesn't mean you aren't flexible, just a planner in general.

Frederickvonhefferneffer Tue 05-Dec-17 09:00:54

Yanbu. I would also insist.
What if op wants to take a job or something Noel?

NoelNiki Tue 05-Dec-17 09:02:22

That is not what she said. She is only worried her dd misses out if she cant meet the days he wants.

How busy is a child under 4s schedule thst requires weeks of planning

Kit2015 Tue 05-Dec-17 09:09:17

I actually do work so if he doesn't have her on the days I'm in work I have to find some one who can. Thankfully my mum provides excellent childcare but gets frustrated that her life is on hold until she knows if she's needed.
I also have to say no to overtime as I don't know if I can get childcare. I've fixed my hours with work so at least I always know when I'm going to need childcare. I would just like to know a bit more in advance if my mum is needed. Iyswim.

I also like to plan days out or have play dates visit family etc. It can be very hard to arrange things if I don't know where she's going to be.
I've always been very flexible with days and have never said he can't have her I've just always changed my plans. I don't want her to ever think that I've stoped her from seeing him.
However when Nursery starts I really do think it's important that there's routine?

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