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To feel my values are out of place?

(74 Posts)
moutonfou Tue 05-Dec-17 08:24:26

I was brought up to have a strong sense of conscientiousness and duty to others, i.e. basic manners, kindness, sharing, civic responsibility e.g. recycling, not littering, picking up dog poop, letting buses out, giving to charity, etc.

I always thought this was the norm but increasingly I'm dismayed by the world around me. There seems to be so much crime, greed, meanness, etc. I feel everything has become rather harsh and cynical and self-focused. I know things like littering and pushing into traffic aren't big things but they smack of someone who doesn't think they have a stake in society or a responsibility to others. I just got stung for £120 by someone who stole my card details, and people's reaction has very much been 'it happens'. It shouldn't happen! I can't imagine what kind of person wouldn't think 'no, that money doesn't belong to me.'

Is it just a vocal/visible minority making me feel this way or am I now completely unusual for thinking we should all have some basic decency towards each other?

ShatnersWig Tue 05-Dec-17 08:32:50

I don't think your values are out of place. But there are now plenty of people whose only thought is for themselves and possibly their immediate family and fuck anyone else.

Nikephorus Tue 05-Dec-17 08:33:38

I'm with you there OP. I feel like (winning the lottery and) buying a remote island somewhere where I can escape mankind entirely (until I need something fixing)

flimp Tue 05-Dec-17 08:36:48

There's always been rude, dishonest, unkind, thoughtless people. It's not a new thing.

violetgrey Tue 05-Dec-17 08:39:00

I feel the same way OP. People seem very insular and care only about themselves and their immediate family. I find it quite depressing.

BishBoshBashBop Tue 05-Dec-17 08:40:19

This really isn't new.

AgentProvocateur Tue 05-Dec-17 08:42:47

It’s not new, but it’s definitely more prevalent.

TeenTimesTwo Tue 05-Dec-17 08:46:47

I think what is different now to say 30 years ago, is people's willingness to challenge others with respect to anti social behaviour.

In the past if people saw someone, especially a teen / child being antisocial they would be more likely to pull them up on it. Now, people don't want to get involved, fear a mouthful of abuse or physical violence. (Some) parents stick up for their child if told off by others, rather than backing up the complaint.

Lethaldrizzle Tue 05-Dec-17 08:49:43

Definitely not a new thing. Dickens made a living writing about the very people you describe. And as for theft, that will always exist where there is inequality in society. Doesn't make it right though!

RestingGrinchFace Tue 05-Dec-17 08:54:37

It really depends on who you are. I see people do this kind of thing all the time but the people that I associate with would never do such things, if I saw an aquaintence behaving this way I would drop them.

BertrandRussell Tue 05-Dec-17 08:54:58

i don't think it's more prevalent. In the past we would only know about the examples that happened in our immediate vicinity- now we are aware of arseholery all over the world.

MoosicalDaisy Tue 05-Dec-17 08:55:34


Fekko Tue 05-Dec-17 08:57:08

Social media! People are more aggressive and argumentative (and if you don't agree you are screamed down as being whatever-ist).

ReanimatedSGB Tue 05-Dec-17 08:58:54

It may be that things are getting worse as it becomes clearer that the rich and well connected are stealing from everyone else with impunity, and it begins to look more and more like rules and laws are just there to keep the poor submissive and silent...

strugglingtodomybest Tue 05-Dec-17 09:01:31

I think it's an ongoing affect of capitalism too.

Fekko Tue 05-Dec-17 09:02:44

I think is just human evolution. People are more selfish and grabby.

ssd Tue 05-Dec-17 09:03:20

great post SGB

ssd Tue 05-Dec-17 09:04:22

social media also plays a part in this

Fekko Tue 05-Dec-17 09:05:22

Social media facilitates it I think.

nannybeach Tue 05-Dec-17 09:06:27

It is more prevalent, even a few years ago, you didnt have these, acid attacks, knife crimes, mind you, a lot of people are their own worst enemies, they walk along on their megga bucks phones. Off to my local shop, now and will be picking up litter as I go!

Fekko Tue 05-Dec-17 09:08:57

I suppose when you have the us president normalising personal attacks and insults via social media that really isn't helping.

speakout Tue 05-Dec-17 09:14:15

I disagree.

I think the majority have the same values.

It only takes one or two knobheads to have an impact.

Fekko Tue 05-Dec-17 09:15:08

Vocal and emboldened arse holes!

BertrandRussell Tue 05-Dec-17 09:17:59

"It is more prevalent, even a few years ago, you didnt have these, acid attacks, knife crimes,"

When are you talking about?

berliozwooler Tue 05-Dec-17 09:23:33

I think all humans naturally fear strangers and care for their nearest and dearest. With education, this can change and one's horizons expand. While I agree with the OP's general points about community responsibility and do all of those things myself there is a balance- our brains can only take so much and worrying too much about wider issues upon which we can only exercise a small amount or no influence can cause anxiety and depression.

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