To be sad about turning 24..

[Emlou07]

I know I'm still young, so to a lot I probably am being unreasonable.

But I'm genuinely feeling down about turning 24 in 2 days.

I have 2 amazing children. Been with my other half for 10 years. Have a house and a car. Which of course I am thankful for!

But I don't have a career. Which is okay, at the moment. I have only 2 'real' friends that I could count on. My eldest starts school in a matter of months and my youngest starts nursery after Christmas. I feel completely lost in life. It's just daunting to me that I'm about a quarter into my life. I don't know 'who I am', what direction I want to go in, I don't have a 'plan'. I don't have my shit together. I'm winging it lol. It feels like life is just breezing past far too quickly!

Anyone else feel this this about turning any age?

[MsVestibule]

I felt that way about turning 34. Good career, had owned my own house for 15 years but didn’t have a boyfriend or any prospect of having children. I joined OLD and a grew months later, met my now-DH, had two children and got married!

The reason I mention OLD (it was in its infancy) is that I decided I needed to do something proactive about my situation. What can you do? Training? Are you working at all?

[MsVestibule]

And BTW, I think most of us are winging it!!

[Fairylea]

24?!

I know this won’t be helpful but loads of people your age will be just coming out of university with no job experience, no life experience, and starting from scratch! You are so young and have your whole life ahead of you. If you have good health you can pretty much start over and do whatever you like!

I wish I was 24 again.

I’m 37... and most would still consider that relatively young!

[Okkitokkiunga]

I don't think it's turning 24. It's your life Stage. I was where your at at 38 - when my children were starting school and nursery. Vestibule is right about making the change for yourself. I hadn't been to Uni so did an undergrad degree with OU. I am now doing a Masters and have a very different employment future ahead of me (43 now). Accountant to Historian. You have another 45 years of work ahead of you and you're a young Mum - you have loads of time.

Happy birthday.

[Okkitokkiunga]

you're at

[wowbutter]

I agree with others, it isn't your age that is freaking you out, it is where you are in life.

To compare, I am fairly young too. Expecting dc number two. Half way through a masters degree, fantastic job waiting for me when dc two makes an appearance and I go back. I feel utterly settled.

When I had my first, my DH had no idea what career he wanted, neither did I. We were newly married, about to embark on further training for jobs, and I found out dc one decided they were on their way. I felt lost, and confused.
I got a part time job, did as many free training courses online as I could, and ended up taking on a masters, and being promoted.

What are your interests? Have you ever worked?

[Velvetbee]

I've only just made a plan. I'm 48 and my plan doesn't kick in til the youngest is 16 in 6 years.
Some people know what they want to do from childhood but most of us are winging it. You've achieved so much already, just enjoy it and a plan will come.

[JustHappy3]

I envy you in a way. You have so much time ahead of you and youth is on your side. I'm 44 and have 3 years to go before i'm at your stage in life!
Someone once said to me you should have 2 CVs on the go - one for work stuff and a different more unusual one for home/family/social stuff. You've got that one full - when many people your age haven't.
You can do online tests and see what you're good at and where you want to go. Pick something you enjoy.
Good luck.

[WinterWinds001]

I'm in exactly the same situation (and age) Almost 24, 2 dc, long term partner ect. Not working though and no Idea what to do! My youngest child starts nursery next year so contemplating between getting any old job to make things more financially comfortable for us or going back to college and retraining in something, going to uni ect.
It's definitely the life stage though. I'm really hoping it gets easier as the kids get older and more independent.

On the plus side I'm done with having kids now planned ones anyway and they will both be adults before I'm 40, loads of time to do everything i'v missed out on now.

[Undercoverbanana]

Anyone, of any age, who tells you that their life is perfect and that they are are 100% sorted is lying.

I am 50 next week and I can promise you thatI am much happier for acknowledging that I am flying by the seat of my pants everyday. Wisdom is knowing you know nothing.

I have no financial security or home, my children are grown and gone, I have a low paid boring job but I just seek happiness and joy every day and try to do good (volunteer at the food bank) and pursue my hobbies (running, cycling, hiking, gym - lots of friends and laughter).

Don't waste your time over-analysing or striving for things that may not make you happy. The more you have, the more you want so you will always be chasing something and will be miserable along the way.

Feel free to ignore the words of this mad old bird, but that would be the advice I would give my 24 year old self.

[DotDashBeep]

I'm twice your age and still don't know what I want to do when I leave school! Everyone wings it. You're just having a pre birthday panic.

[Ragwort]

Is this a competition about who is the oldest .

Bloody hell, 24 is nothing - I am 60 this year, recently started a new career which I love, having a great time. Enjoy your life, you have everything ahead of you - life is what YOU make it.

I find the older I get the happier I am, more comfortabl 'in my own skin', less worried about what other people think of me, whether I make the 'right impression' etc etc.

[Camomila]

I feel you, I'm having a wobble about turning 30 in a few weeks (that's a 3rd of my life aaargh)

I have a husband and toddler and I'm studying but no house and I still can't drive...

I think everyone has these wobbly phases.

[MargaretCavendish]

It's just daunting to me that I'm about a quarter into my life

Well, this is true in some ways, but I think it's more meaningful to measure it in terms of 'adult life' (it's not like you were likely to make huge progress towards a career between the ages of 3 and 7, for instance), and you're about 5 minutes into that! In terms of a working life, if you assume that's between 18 and 65 then you are a minuscule 12% of the way through yours, so it really is all still to play for - please don't feel that you've already wasted time, it sounds like you've been doing other things that mean a great deal to you with it

[nannybeach]

No-one has a perfect life. it sounds to me as you are thinking the grass might be greener the other side of the fence. You have been with your OH for 10 years, so since you were 13, have 2 kids, one starting school, so you were very young when you had them. People change a lot from 13 to 23, when I was 13 I was having guitar lessons and expecting to be the next Beatle! I also said I would have 6 blue eyed blond haired children, because I was an only child. .Did you work before having the children, is this how you wanted/expected your life to be? I agree it isnt anything to do with age, or wasting a quarter of your life. My late Father used to say, you only have the one life, its not a dress rerhersal, you have to make the best of it.", which is true, my late DM died suddenly and young. Having your children young, you have plenty of time to think about what else you hope to achieve later. Another saying, "You make plans, and life gets in the way".

[Emlou07]

These replies have me welling up!

You're right, I guess it isn't about the number but where I am. I feel completely lost. I was a manager of a coffee shop before having my eldest. Since then I've been a SAHM. So apart from my daughters, my day to day life is pretty lonely until my OH comes home around 6/7pm. I live in a small village in the middle of nowhere.

I tried baby groups etc, but found due to my age I was usually sat on my own. I say due to my age, it may not have been. But I was 19 when I had my youngest and the local mums seemed to be a lot older at the time and already had their groups.

I have no real interests (other than the kids). I used have horses but I wouldn't have the time now.

Career wise, I would love to be a nicu nursery nurse. Both of my daughters were premature, so that really gave me a look into nicu life and I feel I would fit in fine.

But I have absolutely no idea where to start. How much do college courses even cost? I left school with no A levels, I quit 6th form and did a business/customer service/management NVQ instead Which I think has now hindered my chances of college/uni?

❤️

[PinkyBlunder]

Get out of town.

I’m 31 today. Sitting in my PJs wondering how the fuck that happened.

[speakout]

You are being slightly pathetic.

I am 56, I am happier than I have ever been in my life.

[Laiste]

I was in your position in the mid 90s

24 years old, 2 kids, married, mortgaged, wondering why life was passing by so fast!

Loads of stuff is going to happen yet and you've got ages. Life never stays the same.

I've got 2 more kids and have moved hundreds of miles since then. I've lived in 4 more houses and have a new husband. None of it was planned out. My life took twists and turns which i would never have foreseen. Very few of us have a plan. Enjoy your life.

[Emlou07]

@speakout

That's a bit harsh!

[PinkyBlunder]

to speakout

Errrm..... congratulations?!

[ijustwannadance]

I'm 40 soon. Still winging it.

If I went back and told 24 year old me, fresh out of an abusive relationship, what i'd be doing now she would've laughed in my face!

You are at a great age. If you want to be a nurse start looking into seeing what you need to do to get there. Write a plan.

[HippyChickMama]

I started my nurse training at 24, I'm 38 now and doing a masters to become a health visitor. If you want to be a nicu nursery nurse have a look at the NHS careers website to find out where to start. Most hospitals also do work experience placements for adults that want to work in hospitals too. As far as I know you would need to do NVQs to be a nursery nurse in hospital but your local hospital training department should be able to advise you.

[MatildaTheCat]

So you do have an ambition! That’s brilliant. Now you need a plan of how to reach your goal. Look into what you need to do to get there. It may take some time, that’s fine, you have years to get there. Look into Access courses and other qualifications or experiences that will help you reach your destination.

NICU nursery nursing is a very real and tangible ambition. I hope you can find the courage to go for it.

Google 9Life Lessons by Tim Minchin. It’s a great video clip of his speech to Australian graduates on real life.

Good Luck!

[Butterfr33]

I'm 25 and I hate it!

I've been with my DP for 4 years and have a 1yo DD together. Currently in my last year of uni with another year teacher training to do. I feel like I've been in limbo the past 3 years since we moved, relying on DP so much! Then becoming a mum, I feel like I've lost my independence and identity.

When I was 20, I was self-employed, earning a good amount of money and had a good social life! I miss it so much but I love my DP and DD much more.