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AIBU?

DH won't change DD's nappies

166 replies

Snakeysnakesnake · 04/12/2017 21:45

I've had a huge argument with DH this evening as he won't change our 4 month old dd's nappies. He will "help" me do them (hold her legs in the air while I wipe) but he won't do them on his own. I had a bath this evening and dd did a poo, and DH came up to tell me I need to get out of the bath to change the nappy! I said no way, he's her parent too and should be able to change them, but he went off in a mood and didn't change her (I had to do it when I got out of the bath). I was so angry at him, and told him that it's unhygienic to leave her like that not to mention uncomfortable for her. He said he just doesn't feel comfortable changing her and having to wipe up the poo that gets into all the little crevices. I think he's being ridiculous and totally U. Or is this really not a big deal and I should let it go and accept I will be the nappy changer forever?

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RunFatGirlRuuuuuun · 04/12/2017 21:47

He's being ridiculous.
Does he give a reason?

Migraleve · 04/12/2017 21:47

Pretty bad show that he is already avoiding parenting his child.

MrsPicklesonSmythe · 04/12/2017 21:49

He is being ridiculous! What happens if you need to go out? She'll be so sore! Totally unacceptable to leave her dirty I'd be furious

KindergartenKop · 04/12/2017 21:49

I should probably not wipe my sons' willies then.

SolemnlyFarts · 04/12/2017 21:49

Do NOT let it go. They're in nappies for a long time...

I would be tempted to refuse to do something else in retaliation (like washing dishes). Ever. The mature approach is probably to tell him that everyone feels like that at first. You can show him. He is now a father and doesn't get to pick and choose what aspects of parenting he wants to do.

Does he have any friends with kids who can point and laugh at him?

jaseyraex · 04/12/2017 21:49

4 months and he's never changed a nappy?! No chance. Tell him to pull his thumb out or find someone else who will.

TheOnlyLivingBoyInNewCross · 04/12/2017 21:50

Has this only just come up for the first time since she was born? Or has he never changed them? What happens when you go out?

Tell him to get over himself and parent like everyone else has to.

liz70 · 04/12/2017 21:50

My 76 year old father changed my nappy nearly half a century ago and all three of my daughters. Full hands on, no wishy washy just holding legs. Tell your DH to get the fuck on with it.

tampinfuminragin · 04/12/2017 21:50

That's terrible OP.

What if you were at the shops? Or held up somewhere?

I think you need to talk about what he needs to do. He's a parent too so he should be pulling his weight.

KarmaStar · 04/12/2017 21:52

No ,don't let it go!he has equal responsibility.no way should he neglect his child like that.you are right to be angry.

Bobbiepin · 04/12/2017 21:52

DH told me "girl bits are weird, I don't k ow what to do with her" once DD was born. I think he was a bit worried about hurting her or something. He hasn't once refused to change a nappy (although once told me he would change it and immediately fell asleep). Maybe he needs a little hand hold and some instruction even though it might be pointing out the obvious.

QueenNovo · 04/12/2017 21:52

He's being a dick and he needs to man up and deal with it. Nobody enjoys wiping shit, but you just get on with it. Leaving a small baby in a soiled nappy because he couldn't be arsed is a disgrace.

RavingRoo · 04/12/2017 21:53

Would he be more comfortable holding dd over the sink and giving her a wash that way? I prefer this with similar aged neices and nephews.

charlyn · 04/12/2017 21:55

You need to put your foot down now or he will think he can get away with never changing a nappy. He needs to grow up and accept hes a parent now which comes with not so pleasant responsibilities!

AnythingNotEverything · 04/12/2017 21:55

I bet with some instruction he'd manage. DH and I have had conversations about which bits to clean and which bits to leave alone!

TheLegendOfBeans · 04/12/2017 21:55

First off, before you give him both barrels, show him like you would show a monkey how DD should be changed, ie front to back only, don’t mistake any natural labial gunk for waste & try and scrub it off etc.

If after your masterclass he STILL refuses then put a fucking rocket under him.

My DH was scared of hurting DD when changing her as a newborn but after a “ladybits 101” he was happy & confident changing her....that was from Day 2 on...

Parker231 · 04/12/2017 21:57

What nappy changing as he done over the last 4 months? Surely he’s been changing them every day?

LouHotel · 04/12/2017 21:57

What absolute dick and what happens when he has her for a few hours without you, is he going to let her sit in it?

CosmicCanary · 04/12/2017 21:59

You had a baby with a baby.

If you do anything for him stop now.

RainbowPastel · 04/12/2017 22:00

He is being pathetic and lazy. She is his child and he needs to step up.

aprilanne · 04/12/2017 22:01

to be honest my hubby would have refused to change a nappy if we had a daughter .well as it was he changed all three sons .some men do feel awkward about changing girls .maybe not ideal but true unfortunately

Voice0fReason · 04/12/2017 22:03

He seriously needs to get a grip!

Did you discuss this before you had children? Had he said that he wouldn't be doing it?

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RainbowPastel · 04/12/2017 22:04

So aprilanne what would happen if you went out and the baby needed changing? My DH changed both our girls from day one like any decent father would.

kaytee87 · 04/12/2017 22:04

My dad used to rinse me with water as he was worried about hurting me, still did it though,

headintheproverbial · 04/12/2017 22:05

When he's saying he doesn't feel comfortable wiping 'the crevices' - what on earth is he referring to? I mean, what's to feel uncomfortable about unless he's suggesting it's because she is a girl? In which case I think you've got a bigger problem on your hands than him being a lazy sod.

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