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To force these arseholes not to spend Christmas in blissful ignorance?!

(105 Posts)
GoJetterGirl Mon 04-Dec-17 20:50:11

Right, so, as many of you may remember my previous thread concerning the toddler in laws (TIL) here goes...

So, my DC had his staging scan to see how his chemo was progressing (insert anaesthetic complication story here) and we finally got the results today.

It's not good news,

The issue now is that around a week ago, TIL asked that DH and I don't tell them any results until after Christmas so we "don't ruin Christmas"... WTAF?!

So, I spoke to another family member, who, bless their heart, is going round to confront them on our behalf and tell them they are being unreasonable...

Since the shit will hit the proverbial fan and the fact that I am the scapegoat for the TILs, AIBU to be elated that this family member is going to confront them and to quote her "cut their crap" or am I just being a little bit bitchy because why should I have to pretend that everything is ok when it is the complete opposite?

Liara Mon 04-Dec-17 20:52:19

Good god. I would not be seeing those in-laws or talking to them before Christmas or well beyond, tbh.

I'm so sorry about what you are going through.

Loungingbutnotforlong Mon 04-Dec-17 20:52:43

So sorry you got bad news. Life can be very unfair.
If I were you, I would never have anything more to do with them and not waste a further scrap of my emotional energy on them- they are indeed despicable.
flowers for you x

Sparklingbrook Mon 04-Dec-17 20:54:23

That is truly awful. I am so sorry that you are having to put up with this nonsense.
You should definitely not have to pretend to appease them. angry

Tinselistacky Mon 04-Dec-17 20:55:06

I would block all contact til after the new year and enjoy your Christmas. .
Hope you get some better news soon.. flowers
Here's rooting for the reli and her visit!!

GoJetterGirl Mon 04-Dec-17 20:56:55

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/3080702-To-want-to-totally-exclude-the-inlaws-at-Christmas?pg=1&order=

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/3059605-To-ban-the-inlaws-from-coming-anywhere-near-the-hospital?pg=2&order=

Previous threads for anyone who wants to get the general gist of the shit I have to put up with....

NeverTwerkNaked Mon 04-Dec-17 20:56:58

I’m so sorry it’s not good news

Try not to waste much energy on them, they don’t deserve to be in your lives

CuriousaboutSamphire Mon 04-Dec-17 20:56:58

Take a few moments to feel every bitter, smug, bitchy, vindication you can muster.

Then fuck 'em. They aren't worth your angst. But they could, fleetingly, provide you with a target to vent your spleen... in theory if not in practice.

I am sorry to hear DSs news.

LondonGirl83 Mon 04-Dec-17 20:57:14

They are being unbearablely self-centred when they should be supportive and grateful for their circumstances

Fishface77 Mon 04-Dec-17 20:58:53

Hi op I've seen and commented on your previous threads.
These are awful people. Tgetbwont see anything wrong in their behaviour. They do not care.
Is it not possible to go no contact?

TheLegendOfBeans Mon 04-Dec-17 21:00:01

Holy Christ @GoJetterGirl I’ve only just connected the threads

I’m so sorry love.

Ps: calling them the TILs is a show of impeccable linguistic restraint.

Theresnonamesleft Mon 04-Dec-17 21:04:37

I would tell them the results and not to bother contacting you again.
They have shown repeatedly they don’t care about anyone other than themselves.
They should be supporting you not pushing you away.

katmarie Mon 04-Dec-17 21:04:40

I remember your previous threads, and I'm so so sorry about your DC. It must be heartbreaking, I can't imagine how you're feeling sad

I think your relative going around to knock some sense into your TIL's is brilliant and no more than they deserve after the things they've said and done. Maybe it will be the wake up call the in laws need (although I'm not holding out much hope there).

I hope you guys are able to have the Christmas you want to have together, and the in laws spend it being miserable!

Taylor22 Mon 04-Dec-17 21:04:43

OH no OP I'm so sorry. I followed your last post and my heart broke for you and your family.

Fuck them. Fuck them all. Take absolute joy in any misery that befalls them.

SnowBallsAreHere Mon 04-Dec-17 21:10:13

So sorry about your DS’s news.

They sounds beyond awful. Almost comedy evil in laws.

Does your DH want anything to do with them?

If not, I’d ignore them entirely. Go beyond NC, completely blank them as if they never existed. Put them from your mind And concentrate on yourselves and your son.

PositivelyPERF Mon 04-Dec-17 21:18:14

I remember your other threads, op. I'm so dreadfully sorry about this heartbreaking news. 💐

Even if I didn't read your previous threads, their attitude regarding the awful time you are all going through spoiling their Christmas is enough reason to cut the fuckers out of your life. What absolute arsefucking pieces of putrid shit they are. And that's me holding back.

Rudgie47 Mon 04-Dec-17 21:19:02

Sorry to hear about your child, that must be really hard for you.
I think they ABVU but what it is is that they cant deal with it.I dont think its got that much to do with Xmas I think it would be any excuse.
Its only when you have a really major crisis in your life that you realize who is and isnt there for you.They have shown you who they are and you know what to do.

dontcallmelen Mon 04-Dec-17 21:23:55

💐

LineysRunner Mon 04-Dec-17 21:23:57

What the previous posters have said. I'm really shocked.

BarbarianMum Mon 04-Dec-17 21:27:52

If having a big blow out with them will make you feel better then go for it. I suspect it won't though.

I'm sorry that the world isn't a fairer place, or a nicer one. flowers

GeekyWombat Mon 04-Dec-17 21:29:10

Oh GoJetterGirl my DH and I were just talking about you today and wondering how things were.

I'm so sorry to hear your latest news. Fuck your PILs in the ear, for this and all the other reasons. I hope you, DH and DS are doing as well as you can be under the circumstances. I'm not sure anyone talking to them will make them realise what they've done and what shits they are, but you are worth bajillions of them.

I know it's hard but don't waste emotional energy on them if you can help it.

SassySausageSupper Mon 04-Dec-17 21:31:35

They’re bloody awful people. Do what is best for you and your family.

PoorYorick Mon 04-Dec-17 21:34:35

I am astonished you haven't killed them.

I'm so sorry to hear the news. I know I don't know you, but I'm thinking of you all anyway.

PinkHeart5914 Mon 04-Dec-17 21:35:08

How the parents can not want to know about their own child because it will “ruin Christmas” is beyond me, fucking disgusting individuals they are!

I’d be telling them to fuck off for all of eternity and then they wouldn’t ever get another word out of me, even after they have had their sodding Christmas

Travis1 Mon 04-Dec-17 21:38:53

I’m so sorry it wasn’t better news. Fuck them! I’d cut the bastards out x

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