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AIBU?

Wedding idea?? Don't flame want simple answers.

16 replies

browndollXo · 04/12/2017 17:36

Hi don't know if this is a good idea or not..

Partners idea

To Get Married....or not

Basically.......there is
Family wars no one really gets on selfish people and jealous people etc awkward at times

GET THE IDEA??

Partner and I thinking.....
do we just get married with two witnesses (one for him and one for me) and not invite no family.. etc

Then go and celebrate with a select few close friends that night.

Then have meet up/ dinner at some point with familys to celebrate with them.. (without spending to much on a actual wedding that would go totally wrong, arguments or no one turn up to.)

Don't get me wrong I would love to have a lovely big proper day with flowers family photos friends food entertainment and party.

But is it all worth it with the stress of the families.

OP posts:

Report

WeeBeasties · 04/12/2017 17:37

Sounds like a good idea to me.

Tiredtomybones · 04/12/2017 17:38

Do whatever is best for you and dp. Be sure about whichever path you choose as you will have the memories forever. No regrets and all that.

PinkHeart5914 · 04/12/2017 17:39

Honestly none of your family get on, so bloody elope and just tell them after.

EdithWeston · 04/12/2017 17:39

Your plan sounds completely fine.

The saccharine/industrial version of weddings is rather over-rated, and I think yours could be considerably more memorable.

Fianceechickie · 04/12/2017 17:40

It's your day!

MaisyPops · 04/12/2017 17:41

That sounds lovely OP

Though what I would say is whatever you do to actually get married, make sure it's what you both want.
E.g. have the day/venue you want. Have the people there who you want - so if you wajt just friends then have just friends all day.
If you want to elope thrn elope.

jaseyraex · 04/12/2017 17:47

Sit down with your DP and think about what you both really want from a wedding. Do you need all your family there? Or are you not that fussed? Don't think about how other people will take to your decision, just make it about you and DP.

We had a big wedding booked, that I cancelled 3 months before the date. It occurred to me that I didn't give a damn if those 150 people were there or not. I was stressed with people asking to bring plus ones that I hadn't given plus ones too, stressed trying to sit people away from people they didn't get on with, stressed trying to cater to everyones needs with the menu. I hated it and felt like I was booking our wedding for everyone else rather than us! I don't recommend booking and cancelling a wedding as we lost a lot of money lol but do make sure you sit down and really talk about it before you jump in at the deep end. We had ten guests at the registry office in the end, went for a meal at our favourite restaraunt, went for drinks, and spent the night in a hotel. It was wonderful and what we should have planned from the beginning.

miraclebabyplease · 04/12/2017 17:51

Do you want the marriage or the wedding? If it is the first, then stress free slip away where everyone has fun. After that, celebrate with groups who get on over various occassions. Don't bring drama into your life.

WeKnowFrogsGoShaLaLaLaLa · 04/12/2017 17:52

The other option is to announce your engagement, throw a party, then turn up and announce you did it at the registry office that day. No time for people to cause a fuss, ruin the wedding, etc, boom, done.

GerdaLovesLili · 04/12/2017 17:53

Do it. In your situation anything else will be stressful and will snow-ball out of control. You can always have a big celebration party some time afterwards.

Rhodes2015again · 04/12/2017 18:06

My family get on fine but we still did it on our own!
It was amazing and really special.
Go for it!

butterfly56 · 04/12/2017 18:20

Yep definitely agree with doing it whatever way makes you less stressed and more comfortable.
I know quite a few people who have gone off and done their own thing with their weddings and they all have great memories of stress free occasions.

browndollXo · 05/12/2017 02:36

Thanks all for the comments
I feel better about our arrangements now that I know people actually do this/have done.

I think we are going to do as planned👏🏼😁.

Save the hassle and arguments from people, it's our day not theirs thank you opened my eyes to it now xxxxx

OP posts:

Gumbo · 05/12/2017 05:38

We had a similar situation of horrendous families who were likely to ruin the day for us. We eloped to a registry office having asked the neighbours to be witnesses the night before. Absolutely the best decision we've ever made and I don't regret it for a second (23 years and still going srong).

Serious, do it!

Pearlsaringer · 05/12/2017 05:47

We did exactly this, still married nearly forty years on. My only regret is that all we have as a reminder of the day is a couple of not very good photos - no mobile phones in those days and no-one to take them. So invest in a selfie stick and take lots of pics of your wedding so you can treasure the memories of what will be a wonderful day!

NotAgainYoda · 05/12/2017 05:50

If I had my time again, I'd slip away and tell later. I know a couple of couples who did this and it was fine

I did not understand your first paragraph

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