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Inlaws are outlaws

(48 Posts)
RunAwaySoul Mon 04-Dec-17 17:31:16

I am so fed up with my in-laws behaviour, interference, pushiness, name calling and lies that I can’t do much but post a passive aggressive thread. Please feel free to join in.

PasstheStarmix Mon 04-Dec-17 17:32:15

My inlaws are estranged through their crazy behaviour and it's the best place for them to be!

Tinselistacky Mon 04-Dec-17 17:32:43

Been nc 3 years in Jan.
Life is truly bliss.
Def recommend it!!

lostpurplehoodie Mon 04-Dec-17 17:37:09

My mother in law called our house last week for the first time since I moved in 11 years ago. Yet she complains that I am a stranger. When I call them she won’t let me through their call Guardian bollocks. Yet she complains I’m a stranger. In fact she went so far as to say “DH married a stranger” with a catsbum face to the guests at our wedding. It would make me sad if it weren’t so laughably loony.

RunAwaySoul Mon 04-Dec-17 17:57:01

I am trying to go NC but they keep turning up on my door step, in-spite of being told not to do so. My husband can’t take a stand so going NC isn’t working.

Gramgram Mon 04-Dec-17 17:57:33

We went NC with Bil and his wife. Best thing we ever did. Bil once complained about a gift we sent him, he'd been diagnosed with anemia and said he craved chocolate. I sent him some Hotel Chocolat batons, I thought it was a nice gesture. He phones up and whinges on about what did we want? Nothing it was a gift - he didn't seem to understand the word - gift. He ate them though.

Sil is equally batty. She has many food problems, eg can't eat wheat but can eat cake and can't eat pasta but can eat organic pasta. She even boils her vitamin pills just in case she is allergic to the coating. There is more but I won't go on.

Just so glad we no longer have to deal with them in any way.

RunAwaySoul Mon 04-Dec-17 18:14:41

Gramgram - confused Good God! Please tell me they were sanctioned...

VelvetKK Mon 04-Dec-17 18:17:18

In the process of going NC with inlaws. Didn't want it to get to this stage but their negativity is too much to bear.

PasstheStarmix Mon 04-Dec-17 18:21:56

DH and I told PILs that we only wanted positivity in our lives; it was our final warning. They continued to bring their negativity and drama and now we're permanently NC.

ladystarkers Mon 04-Dec-17 18:21:56

Mine have been a nightmare in past, well MIL anyway! They have mellowed —admitted defeat— over thevyears. <hopeful>flowers

user1493242132 Mon 04-Dec-17 18:24:41

I fucking hate mine! I’m brown, they are racist; I’m tech savvy, they say technology will kill them one day blah di blah! They turn up to visit GC twice a year (birthdays and Christmas) and then expect me to cook and clean after them! I could go on all night about them but I might give myself a stroke!

user1493242132 Mon 04-Dec-17 18:28:04

MIL is the harbinger of bad news. It’s like- who can deliver the worse news in the 3 phone calls she makes during the year. Called to say congratulations you have a GS and she turns around to say oh your DDad (my FIL) has had a heart attack (which turned out to be not) so we can’t come visit! FFS

RunAwaySoul Mon 04-Dec-17 18:35:14

-Sending my DS to violin lessons,meant I am preparing him to be a drug addict hmm
- I shouldn’t drive my husband’s car & should get a cheap car.
- They can’t and don’t want to call before just dropping by because we are always pretending to be busy
- I am too “ posh “ confused
The list can go on & on

RunAwaySoul Mon 04-Dec-17 18:38:26

User14932... shock That is appalling! I just wonder sometimes, how do these people come up with things like this 🤔

user1493242132 Mon 04-Dec-17 18:39:30

I got told off for using ‘posh’ words with my DD and was told that she is proud of her common roots. I meant to tell her I’m not but I was fuming at the time and couldn’t phrase the sentence right! 🤬🤬🤬🤬

FuzzyCustard Mon 04-Dec-17 18:42:10

Some ILs are pains, some are lovely. Just like non-IL people!

user1493242132 Mon 04-Dec-17 18:42:49

I truly am not a horrible person but can’t wait for her to be gone! I don’t want negativity in my life 😰😰😰😢😢😢

YouTheCat Mon 04-Dec-17 18:44:36

My ex and his mother didn't like me reading. Apparently it was anti-social and I should have been spending every waking moment seeing to the ex's needs and ironing. hmm

AnneLovesGilbert Mon 04-Dec-17 18:45:10

Your DH not being ready to go NC doesn’t mean you can’t. You don’t have to answer the door to them.

I’d never met two people like my DH parents, didn’t know there were people like that in the world. Horrible when upon eyes are opened to such unpleasantness.

I always say it, but have you read Toxic Inlaws? It’s so healing to know you’re not alone and there are strategies to help you cope with it.

One of the hardest thing for me was the crashing disappointment of them not being nice normal people we could have a kind, mutually supportive relationship with. I’d have loved nice in laws. But I have an amazing husband. Which is a lot. He’s the best person I know and he so deserves better parents. His wonderful friends and other people in his family make up for it.

Sorry things are difficult, it really isn’t your fault flowers

CigarsofthePharoahs Mon 04-Dec-17 18:46:27

Well dh's dad was lovely but is now deceased.
That was the cue for his older brothers to turn nasty. They ended up doing him out of several thousand pounds, which should have been the last of his share of his dad's estate.
This was some years ago now, and to be honest, it was a price worth paying. They were all rather unpleasant people.

RunAwaySoul Mon 04-Dec-17 18:51:20

AnnielovesGilbert... I haven’t read the book but has been recommended twice today. Going to get a copy ASAP. I am not bothered by their vile behaviour but am utterly disheartened by my husbands approach. In all these years he has never said anything to them.

AnneLovesGilbert Mon 04-Dec-17 19:01:15

It’s brilliant, please do. I cried and got livid in places, so depending on how emotional you get be prepared for that.

It might give you insights into how your husband feels. It’s difficukt to get your head around it if your family are “normal”.

My other huge insight and sadness was about my incredibly difficult and, at times, fucking toxic grandmother. The hell she and my grandfather put poor wonderful Mum through. I’ve told her bits of it but there’s no good in telling her to read it as she’d only wish she’d cut the pair of toxic wankers off before they tried to screw us, the grandkids, up as well.

Truly, no grandparents are a much better option than toxic, manipulative ones.

I got off relatively lightly but my mum’s Mum took a particular hatred to one of my brothers, from birth if not before, and continued to loathe him into his twenties before she finally died and the nightmare stopped.

I’m rambling, sorry, but please read up and find ways to protect yourself.

Playing the violin is great! Knock that shit on the head for a start.

Floralnomad Mon 04-Dec-17 19:01:28

I’ve been NC with the inlaws for over 20 yrs , dh still sees them and it’s worked well for us ( only MIl now ) . If your dh won’t speak to them then I would suggest that you write a letter telling them that from now you no longer wish to see them and that your husband will have to visit with them at their house and if they want to speak to him call his mobile . Children are a bit more of an issue but ours used to visit when they were small with dh but as they’ve got older they’ve made their own decisions and although they are not officially NC ds hasn’t seen / spoken to MIL since FILs funeral over 3 years ago and dd hasn’t seen / spoken to her for 18 months .

chinam Mon 04-Dec-17 19:03:56

Ah yes, the well known known link between the violin and drug use. The mind boggles. Thank God my in laws are fabulous. I couldn't deal with the things some of you have to put up with.

ToadsforJustice Mon 04-Dec-17 19:08:19

I wouldn’t call my inlaws outlaws, because outlaws are wanted.

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