to tell them both to stop it?!(2 Posts)
For a bit of context, I've recently gone through a breakup with my ExP, which was pretty heartbreaking and messy - we're still very much in contact, and meet up regularly. Perhaps naively I believe that if we both work on our issues separately, we will come back together in the new year. It's been a while, and in his words "it's proving impossible to cut the contact between us". I think the thing that's holding us back is the fact that he was AWFUL in the last month of the relationship. I still very much love him though, and I am able to forgive this if we both get to a point where we are happy with ourselves. That might not happen, but i'm not ruling it out.
Anyway. My two friends are having man troubles of their own. The first friend is my childhood friend. She is very independent and fiery and I love her attitude towards life - she very much is defined by her own successes and is beautiful, intelligent - the "whole package!". She met a man whilst travelling who invited her to live with him in his native country, she has come home to tie up loose ends with the aim of going over next Feb. I was really happy for her - a bit sad that she would be leaving - but mostly happy because she deserves some happiness. However, as she revealed more details i was a bit about the whole thing. Firstly, she spent TWO DAYS with this guy. He then started contacting her less and less and she sent him massive emails explaining why she was upset with him, to which he replied it was getting "a bit much". She said she still thought he wanted her to go. I kinda nodded and told her to do what made her happy. She is constantly messaging him asking for phone calls, etc., and he is basically ignoring her. She said she is still planning to go unless he calls it off. But he HAS ! He said in the messages that it was too much, and it would work better if they were closer but he can't see a way back.
My other friend is less close. She's a bit younger than me, and quite immature. Over the summer she went on a date with a guy she met on Tinder and slept with him. After this he tried to blow her off, not replying to texts, etc. She has been into his work twice with gifts for him this week. She rang him over the weekend to which he told her to leave him alone, and that he was "seeing someone else". She has since gone into his work with an "apology card" and a gift
Both of my friends are asking me for advice. I'm struggling to stay positive with them both as it's clear what their situations are. When I have given Friend 1 sensible advice of having a back up plan she's accused me of being hung up on my ex (true) and that i'm in no position to give relationship advice. She's also moved from being very supportive of a reconciliation to saying that i should just move on.
I'm less close to friend 2 but she has begun harassing me with 5 messages in one morning asking for advice. She's compared her situation to mine and my Exp's (who I was with for a year - not just a shag!)
I'm really quite stressed at the moment with a new job and family stuff. I love my friends but I'm getting frustrated with their constant quest for false hope!
AIBU to tell them straight what's happening with them?
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