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AIBU to be unwilling to compromise on this?

(3 Posts)
EmiliaAirheart Sun 03-Dec-17 20:46:08

I’m visiting my husband’s family in Latin America. I’ve lived here for extended periods when I was younger, I’m fluent in the language and I think I’ve made a lot of compromises during each visit (like staying with the in-laws for long periods..!)

As I’ve gotten older and more safety conscious, I’ve become increasingly anxious about the very lax attitude to road safety here. There’s a lot of pressure to go with the flow from his extended family, like adults won’t put on seatbelts even if you ask them to and it’s seen as ok to have more passengers than there are seats.

On one level, I think ‘it’s your life, not mine’, but that’s not entirely true. A passenger behind me without a seatbelt is a projectile that can also kill me. And if I’m not willing to have my own future children ride like that, I can’t be a hypocrite and turn a blind eye when it’s my nieces, right?

Has anyone else - with experience in developing countries or large families with different cultural practices - successfully stuck to their principles in a similar situation?

Oldraver Sun 03-Dec-17 20:54:38

My DH was from a large family...think nearly 30 odd grandchildren of varying ages and my DS was the only one to ever wear a seat belt or be in a car seat.. If I carried family I point blank refused to have them in the car without belting up. It did cause rucksions as we were frequently volunteered to give lifts and family thought DS could go on my knee, while SIL tried to sit in the front with DC on her knee.

I stuck to my guns and while I wasn't well thought of over it I didnt care. MIL once had DS and let him go off with BIL who chucked him the back with three other kids. She never had him again. this was back in the 90's...

I dont think you will alter their attiutude at all. Its up to you how firm you are over it

EmiliaAirheart Sun 03-Dec-17 20:59:44

When I say I’m unwilling to compromise, I mean I had a gutful and I’m walking home from an outing while my husband drives everyone else home, so the kids and my brother-in-law can each have a seat in the car.

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