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To think I'm right to be annoyed with my husband over this

(14 Posts)
Kitsandkids Sun 03-Dec-17 14:04:33

Today I have gone into town leaving my husband with 3 children because he wouldn't go out anywhere.

The older 2 are excited about Christmas. They love doing Christmassy things. There is a party on today that we could have had free tickets for if I'd chased up our application but because my husband is off I figured we would be going somewhere anyway so didn't bother.

Yesterday I asked him where we should go and gave suggestions but he kind of shrugged and said we'd decide today. This morning I asked again and was met with 'don't know.' I took the kids to church and came back and asked. Again not sure, a bit miserable, told kids he was going to stay in and sleep. I gave suggestions of a Christmas Market and trail or an Elf Trail somewhere a short drive away. The Elf Trail we could have taken our poor dog who my husband promised when we got him to walk but rarely does (I walk him or he goes to a dog sitter). No, he didn't want to go outside. He wanted somewhere indoors.

An hour after we got back from church he blames me for going to church for wasting the day. If we'd decided earlier he could have picked us up from the church and we could have been away by 12 - leaving the whole afternoon for whatever we were doing. And the Sunday School leaders are taking the kids to the panto soon for free - the least I can do is take them to church for a few weeks so they can be in the church nativity.

Finally he started to get coat and shoes on so I galvanised the kids to get ready then when they asked where we were going he said to a local (crap) shopping centre. The kids know I'm not buying them toys so close to Christmas so understandably said they didn't want to go - all we would have been doing was wandering round and it would be up to me to stop the kids from touching everything. So when he'd established they didn't want to go he said we'd just stay in then.

So I continued putting my coat on, said I was going to get my hair cut and just left.

He was working yesterday and the previous 2 weekends. I was looking forward to spending some family time together. He has the next 2 days off so has plenty of time to relax while the kids are at school and I'm at home with the baby.

I do feel guilty for leaving the baby with him as she's not his biggest fan but I thought, sod it. I've looked after everyone all week. I've trudged up and down to school in the snow. I do all night feeds for the baby and pretty much all the baby care. I'm sitting in the hairdressers and even said 'that's fine' when they told me it's up to an hour's wait for a haircut! I don't care. If he wants to stay in that's fine, but he can take his turn of looking after all the kids alone!

Madonnasmum Sun 03-Dec-17 14:06:35

You've done the right thing. What an arse.

ItStartedWithAKiss241 Sun 03-Dec-17 14:06:58

Enjoy your haircut! You haven’t done anything wrong x

LivingDeadGirlUK Sun 03-Dec-17 14:13:22

Great plan, you should go for a coffee after too.

Kitsandkids Sun 03-Dec-17 14:17:56

Thank you ladies!

Birdsgottafly Sun 03-Dec-17 14:19:24

You do need to take over planning, though.

DrunkUnicorn Sun 03-Dec-17 14:21:45

YADNBU..have some brew and cake too. That should be another good half hour smile

YouTheCat Sun 03-Dec-17 14:22:11

You definitely need a coffee too. Anything on at the cinema you'd like to see?

Shootfirstaskquestionslater Sun 03-Dec-17 14:28:22

Make sure you go for a coffee and cake afterwards and maybe have a mooch round the shops. If yhe grinch wants to stay in doors then let him but he can keep the kids entertained for most of the afternoon while he's at it.

BewareOfDragons Sun 03-Dec-17 14:30:01

Your DH is acting like a selfish ass.

I'd stay out a good few hours and let him get on with parenting on his own for a while since he couldn't be arsed to do something as a family. And your poor dog!

Mxyzptlk Sun 03-Dec-17 14:34:17

It is a shame for the kids if they're stuck with Mr Grinch, but maybe he'll brighten up his ideas as the sole carer.
Is this usual behaviour for him?

Kitsandkids Sun 03-Dec-17 14:39:28

Very usual behaviour. He doesn't like going out places as a family. Prefers to play on his PlayStation or phone - the latter of which is permanently in his hand. The kids do more with me on weekends when he's at work than when he's at home.

I'm still waiting to be called so will be a while yet. I would stay out all afternoon if it weren't for the baby. She's 5 months and often only wants me.

deadringer Sun 03-Dec-17 14:40:30

I think you were right to go and get your hair done and have a bit of time to yourself, but I don't think there is anything wrong with doing nothing on your day off. In your situation I would have gone to the party with the kids tbh. Definitely don't leave it up to him to make plans next time, and don't feel guilty about leaving the baby with him, it will do them good to spend some time together.

Kitsandkids Sun 03-Dec-17 16:20:19

I was back with 3 hours and then he made me food so i think he was feeling guilty!

Next weekend he's off so we'll decide what we're doing in advance!

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