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AIBU?

AIBU to think most people are intrinsicallly good?

33 replies

AdaHopper · 03/12/2017 13:35

Dd1(10) broke her foot this week. She normally cycles to and from school with our au-pair. DH and I both work full-time. I have been breaking my head over logistics of how to get her dropped off and picked up.

On Friday morning at drop-off another mum inquired about her plaster and offered to drop her home off after school every day as her son does the same after school activities as my dd.

I don't know this mum very well so I am really touched by the offer. I have taken her up on it and will give her a nice hamper of goodies to thank her. She has taken away so much stress. What a great person!

What are your examples of how people are just awesome?

OP posts:
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OhThisbloodyComputer · 03/12/2017 14:01

I crashed my bike and nearly broke my neck.

Complete strangers looked after me for hours until the ambulance turned up. Magnificent people.

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Birdsgottafly · 03/12/2017 14:06

I think people, as a mass, are publically good and have accepted that we have to live by certain rules.

Individual persons can be intrinsically good, but I still think that is partly down to upbringing and culture/environment.

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Pengggwn · 03/12/2017 14:23

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ChelleDawg2020 · 03/12/2017 14:27

The definition of what is "good" varies with the attitudes and perceptions of a society taken as a whole.

The values which are "good" are considered such because the majority of people believe them to be "good". With this in mind, it is unsurprising that "most people" conform to this standard, because "most people" decide what the standard is.

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MayFayner · 03/12/2017 14:30

I think that when people's own needs are met they are generally "good" to others.

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Chrys2017 · 03/12/2017 14:32

The concepts of fairness and 'doing unto others' seem to be universal principles that are instinctively understood by even very young children.

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Tinselistacky · 03/12/2017 14:34

My ds had a car crash- think car on its roof- a man stopped and rang me off ds phone as he was a bit incoherent. Waited with him till an ambulance arrived . Never left his details but very grateful. And the ambulance man who told him off for ringing me before them and worrying me before he had received help!!
What a night. ..

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wasonthelist · 03/12/2017 14:42

I have loads of examples but YANBU.

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AdaHopper · 03/12/2017 15:53

It's heartwarming when people do step up though. Wow Tinsel and Oh!

OP posts:
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MsHarry · 03/12/2017 16:02

Lovely thread OP and I agree that most people really are good. I lost my dog last year and hadn't had her long. It started to get dark and after an hour of searching a couple of separate dog owners came by to ask if I was ok. One went and got some dog treats from her house nearby to help lure her when we spotted her trapped in a disused building. The other lady went and fetched a ladder and held onto me while I climbed over the fence, the other steadied me as I hoisted my dog back over. Then they went back about their business. They just stepped in while I was flapping. I was so grateful.

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Annabelle4 · 03/12/2017 16:09

I was in a city I wasn't familiar with this weekend and was just blown away by how really helpful people were - giving directions, helping with my DC and luggage in buildings and restaurants, taxi & public transport drivers who weren't going on the route I needed but who went out of their way to advise me.
It really made me realise that for the most part, people are really 'good'.

How lovely of you too OP to get that mum a thank you present. It's equally important to acknowledge kindness.

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InvisibleKittenAttack · 03/12/2017 16:42

Most people are nice. We notice the shitty ones more, but they are a minority, most people are at worse ok and different levels of loveliness.

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LunasSpectreSpecs · 03/12/2017 16:48

Most people are great. I had a similar situation after a major operation last year when I couldn't drive for a month. People brought me shopping, took me places, took the kids to dance/Brownies/Scouts and all without expecting anything in return.

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Sleephead1 · 03/12/2017 16:53

I was once taking my little boy to a class and walk through a pretty rough area. A older lady had fallen and was hurt loads of people had helped but it was raining heavy and people had brought duvets and pillows and blankets to wrap her up in. I thought it was really kind. They had rang ambulance and where waiting with her so I didn't stay as didn't want to just hover about when they had it in hand. But I always remember it.

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PinkHeart5914 · 03/12/2017 16:53

I think the majority of people will be kind and do the right thing given the chance, of course some people are rotten but I do think the good outweighs the bad.

One very stupid night pre dc I went out in London with friends, I was beyond drunk and walked off on my own ( still no idea why) I was lost, very drunk and rather ill. A nice gentleman helped me, he called my dh for me and then took me and found me a cab so I could get home. He was a proper little gem.

My dd was stillborn and dh went to get the car to take me home from hospital, and he left me in the cafe at the hospital. The minute he left I started sobbing and a lady approached asked if she could sit and just started talking. She was so kind and said some lovely things about my dd being an angel now. I have never forgotten her kindness

When dh was knocked off his bike by a car, the driver fucked off but a group of walkers found dh and got him an ambulance.

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RavingRoo · 03/12/2017 16:56

As a group people can often be good partly because of the shame factor. As individuals I’d say most of us are intrinsically self-serving and ‘bad’ if we think we can get away with something.

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Blodplod · 03/12/2017 16:58

@pinkheart. So sorry for your loss. Flowers that’s so so sad but lovely that a total stranger was able to provide you with some comfort when you were so desolate and raw.

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Crumbs1 · 03/12/2017 16:58

I think most people are intrinsically good. Most protect the more vulnerable, work to build their local community, are generally kind and moral.

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BossyBitch · 03/12/2017 17:00

When my sister was 18 and travelling around the US, she broke up with her boyfriend, got into a bit of a pickle and was left stranded some place in rural Nevada with virtually no money and no luggage. A work colleague of my uncle's had a sister in Las Vegas who'd never met my uncle - never mind any of us. She still drove several hundred miles to go pick up my sister in some he'll hole, let her stay for a couple of nights and bought her a ticket back to London for which mum wired her the money.

Lovely woman. Mum still exchanges Christmas cards with her!

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Blodplod · 03/12/2017 17:01

@ravingroo - speak for yourself. I truly believe generally I’m the opposite. Of course I could just be delusional but my instinct always is to help others, I abhor selfishness and the ‘I’m alright jack’ attitude.

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BossyBitch · 03/12/2017 17:01

*hell hole, of course. New phone is not yet trained to be sweaty.

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BossyBitch · 03/12/2017 17:01

Point in case: *sweary

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DJBaggySmalls · 03/12/2017 17:03

Blodplod Me too. I think people tell themselves most people are selfish to let themselves off the hook.

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Namechangetempissue · 03/12/2017 17:05

I hold on to this thought-I like to think most people are good and would help their fellow human in a time of crisis. If you look at some of the terrible atrocities that have taken place like 9/11 and the Manchester bombing you hear many stories of kindness and heroics by strangers.

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SilverySurfer · 03/12/2017 17:34

Yes some are but there are definitely some who are not.

Last year before I finally found a gardener who actually turned up and gardened (predecessors didn't) I was attempting to trim the hedge in my front garden with shears which proved quite difficult as I can't walk without a walking frame.

I was half heartedly snipping at the hedge when a man about my age (70s) stopped as he was walking past (on his way to visit his MIL - one of my neighbours) and insisted on cutting my hedge for me. He then called his wife and she came with their own shears and they trimmed the whole hedge.

I was overwhelmed and tried to give them money, alcohol, food, but they wouldn't accept anything and carried on to their visit with my repeated thank you's ringing in their ears. Smile

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