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Grandparents inviting themselves to the nativity?

(13 Posts)
Zevitevitchofcrimas Sun 03-Dec-17 12:47:31

Really dislike pils, long back story, tried to have amicable relationship after no contact for a while, I'm pleased dc go there occasionally have days out in the year. Older dd has never got one there though, she is ok for an hour or so but has massively struggled staying the night
Younger us more ok there. Anyway they have invited themselves to the nativity. Mil is always critical, judgemental, I can't stand being around her. She had ruined so many special family moments, the very birth of ourselves child was disseminated by her, birthdays... Christmas... I don't want them there's! I suppose if they turn up I can ignore them... They can sit elsewhere but finding out the date, fil scours dd school news letter... And inviting themselves??

Leeds2 Sun 03-Dec-17 13:13:36

Does the school restrict the number of tickets that each child can have? Many do. If so, I would make sure that you order tickets for you and OH asap. After that, I don't think you can actually stop them, although you don't have to help them get tickets. May be too late anyway, as these things seem to "sell out" very quickly.

Zevitevitchofcrimas Sun 03-Dec-17 13:19:30

Unfortunately not it's firstly come first served.

BornInSydneyy Sun 03-Dec-17 13:22:23

I think you need to put your differences aside for your children.

If they like their grandparents and want them there then don’t interfere with their relationship.

Zevitevitchofcrimas Sun 03-Dec-17 13:37:43

Born we have done this to a degree but they are not both so incredibly controlling its hard! Give an inch and they run with space miles. If we see the there it's likely to be interrogation on the dc. And when seeing them next. Eg we used to pop in ad hoc in between arranged days and just get drilled down as to our movements and when they can see dc again! It's exhausting. Older dd doesn't like going anyway so sensing this it's all about when they can get their hands on her next because short visits don't count to them.

Zevitevitchofcrimas Sun 03-Dec-17 13:38:48

Having said that younger probably would like them there, so I will just sit far away from them.

BewareOfDragons Sun 03-Dec-17 13:53:15

Under the circumstances, your DH should be dealing with them. If he can't or won't, perhaps tell the school that you are NC with them and tell them they shouldn't be contacting the school to tickets for events like this.

runwalkrun Sun 03-Dec-17 13:54:04

What have they done that's so terrible and warrants barring them from joining in with key moments in their grandchildren's lives? confused
Could you list the things they've done or not done?

If we see them there it's likely to be interrogation on the dc.

Are you sure that what you see as interogations, is merely them being typical grandparents and showing interest and curiousity about their grandchildren?

She had ruined so many special family moments,

How did she ruin the family moments exactly?

I can't stand being around her.
Hardly her fault if there's a personality clash between the two of you.

Are your own parents invited to nativities and family birthdays?

coconuttella Sun 03-Dec-17 13:59:27

I think before anyone can judge if YABU or not, more info is required. If it is a personality clash and you’ve had a few arguments then YABU. If genuinely abusive behaviour is behind you going NC then YANBU.

coconuttella Sun 03-Dec-17 14:00:33

Based on what you’ve written so far, it could be that you’re the one being too controlling....

Zevitevitchofcrimas Sun 03-Dec-17 14:01:38

Run its too much to go in to, be reassured even relate has questioned why we keep in contact with them, we have been twice purely because of them. I have posted on here about various incidents and it's usually been a resounding.why do you even speak to these people.

We already trying t keep them at arms length so they don't harm our relationship and family, we try and fair with them seeing gc although that would never be enough but stuff like this, ie assuming it's OK for them to come and inviting themselves makes me feel cross.

chiaseeddisapointmentagain Sun 03-Dec-17 18:06:45

Tell the school they're not welcome.

Zevitevitchofcrimas Sun 03-Dec-17 18:47:28

I don't think the school would do anything or know who they are even, there see no tickets sadly! It is would be a little to extreme to do this to them.

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